Leo!

I grew up in one of Vegas' many ghettos. My particular ghetto was the one found behind the Stratosphere casino... aka Naked City.

I'm a nice girl... always have been, but I do have a mean streak in me thanks to the 14 years I had to spend in the aforementioned ghetto.
I can punch, I can kick, I can strangle... and hair pulling, bitch, please, I don't even play in that department. I know an elbow to the face does incredible damage, and better yet, face-to-the-knee is MAGIC when brawling.

I've grown up... my fighting years are behind me. However, recently I bumped into a FB group dedicated to my middle school. Thanks to the group, I've found a couple of friends... and foes.
The craziest is this one chick with whom I had a nasty pool fight. Yes, POOL fight.

Our school had a pool, and we were forced to swim for PE at the beginning and end of the school year. We were swimming, I -- being the shy, chubby, prepubescent 13-year-old who would have killed to NOT have boobs-- wore a shirt over my bathing suit... a two-piece... which I only owned because it was cheaper than a one piece.
I avoided swimming for the entire hour by walking 10 laps around the shallow end. Anything to avoid being in the pool for too long.
One day I heard this girl, a 7th grader, talking shit.


"Why does that fucking fat bitch wear a two piece? Does she think that white shirt is covering anything?"
I turned to her and made eye-contact.
"Yes, I'm talking about you!"
I was walking laps in the pool, she was walking directly behind me.
"Listen, you stupid dyke, I don't give a fuck what you think. I'm a girl. I'm growing... at least I don't look like a boy! You fucking wanna-be Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike!"
"At least I'm not a fat bitch!"
She then splashed water at my face.

It. Was. On.

I grabbed her neck and held her head underwater.
For a long time.
And I didn't let go.
She splashed and writhed under me, and eventually one of her friends and one of mine had to pry me off.
The teachers never did a thing about it. We were just pulled out of the pool and forced to sit out for the remainder of class. As we sat against a wall, shivering and wrapped in our towels, she apologized. I apologized immediately after. We made peace by the end of the year, I moved to a nicer part of town, and that was that.

I hadn't heard from this girl since then, and all of a sudden, yesterday I went to her facebook.
What is she?
A Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike.
;)
I was right the whole time!

She was the first, and is the only chick on which I ever used that derogatory term.
Kids can be cruel.
(But I was right.... bahahaha)

wah, wah, wah. Sad again.

El problema no fue hallarte,
El problema es olvidarte.
El problema no es tu ausencia,
El problema es que te espero.
El problema no es problema,
El problema es que me duele.
El problema no es que mientas,
El problema es que te creo.

(the problem wasn't finding you, the problem is forgetting you. The problem isn't your absence, the problem is that I wait for you. The problem isn't the problem, the problem is that it hurts me. The problem isn't that you lie, the problem is that I believe you)

El problema no es que juegues,
El problema es que es conmigo.
Si me gustaste por ser libre,
Quién soy yo para cambiarte?
Si me quedé queriendo solo,
Cómo hacer para obligarte?
El problema no es quererte,
Es que tú no sientas lo mismo.

(The problem isn't that you play, the problem is that it's with me. If I liked you for being free, who am I to change you? If I was left loving alone, how can I make attempts to force you? The problem is not liking you, it's that you don't feel the same)

Y cómo deshacerme de ti si no te tengo?
Cómo alejarme de ti si estás tan lejos?
Cómo encontrarle una pestaña
A lo que nunca tuvo ojos?
Cómo encontrarle plataformas
A lo que siempre fue un barranco?
Cómo encontrar en la alacena
Los besos que no me diste?
(And how can I get rid of you if I don't have you? How can I distance myself if you're so far? How can I find an eyelash on something that never had eyes? How can I find platforms on something that was always a ravine? How can I look in the cupboard for the kisses you never gave me?)

Y cómo deshacerme de ti si no te tengo?
Cómo alejarme de ti si estas tan lejos?
Y es que el problema no es cambiarte,
El problema es que no quiero.

(And how can I get rid of you if I don't have you? How can I distance myself if you're so far? And the problem isn't changing you, the problem is that I don't want to)

El problema no es que duela,
El problema es que me gusta.
El problema no es el daño,
El problema son las huellas.
El problema no es lo que haces,
El problema es que lo olvido.
El problema no es que digas,
El problema es lo que callas.

(The issue isn't that it hurts, the problem's that I like it. The issue isn't the damage, the problem is the trace it leaves behind. The issue isn't what you do, the problem is that I forget it. The issue isn't what you say, the problem is what you hold back)

This is mighty therapeutic. And so true in my case.

Jesus... I need to get back to school. It helps me get a life where I don't give a flying fuck about the bullshit that is "romantic" relationships. 

Romance... ha. Petty shit that only gets in the way of living a productive life. At least, it seems to hold true in my case.

WHY DID I EVER STRAY FROM THE MEDICAL SCHOOL PATH?!

you DON'T?

(Dad  introduced me to his friend Sunday night, as I played Wii with MGH)
Dad: This is my daughter, AnoMALIE.
Me: Nice to meet you.
Dad: And this is MGH, a friend of the family... but he's more like a son.

(At the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. I'm directing MGH as I attempt to snap a decent photo of him)
Stranger: Go stand over there with him. I'll take a photo of you two together.
Me: No, just him.
Stranger: What, you don't like him?

MGH hung out with me this Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.
I had him to myself.
He did not get drunk.
He did not flirt with girls.
He did not stay out all night long.
He had family dinner with me.
He played hours of Wii with me.

I wanted to jump off the highway overpass a couple of times. Yes, he was driving me insane, but not in his usual way (immaturity, instability, etc).
I wanted to die because he was so damn perfect, and I couldn't... he wasn't... he ISN'T mine.
I loved the time spent with him... I was in heaven after any word he spoke. I listened to him lecture me on roulette, for fucks sake!
And I maintained eye-contact with him as often as possible... not the creepy kind... but the "my... you have big pupils!" kind.

We both had sad eyes.
I was sad because I knew it was impossible... he looked sad because he felt sorry for me.

This weekend felt so good... but cut me so deeply.

Someone please tear out my heart already... I want to be funny!

mo to the ron

Saturday afternoon, cell rings, caller ID says it's MGH's grandma's house.

MGH: So I want to go to Vegas the weekend of the 1st to the 3rd of May... will you be there?
Me: Yes.
MGH: So... I can... book my flight and... stay at your place?
Me: (internally) Are you fucking CRAZY?! (spoken) Of course! You just book your shit and give me the time and place and I'll be there. Whatever you need, don't even worry about it!

I am now planning a 21st birthday celebration for a boy... with a girlfriend... that is NOT me.
Why the FUCK am I so damn stupid around this boy? Fuck, fuck, fuck, man!

I had been doing GREAT before this... laughing, smiling, studying... and he worked his way into my life again... posting his little poker-related comments, texting me... and SNAP! In less than 2 weeks, he caught me.

I'm a fucking moron.

Mackie Mac

It has been a minute since I last wrote.
ADD at its best.
Although... I do have a very justifiable excuse: my laptop died.
I'm not entirely sure what occurred, it just didn't want to turn on any more. While various resuscitation attempts were made, and I refused to accept the fact that it was dead (each day I'd plug it in and wishfully stare at the computer, hoping to see that little blue ring light up where the extension chord and computer meet. However, my wishes were never granted), I had to accept that my days of adventure with Mr. HPPC were quite simply over.

So I purchased a new laptop.
I went drastic and decided PC would never hurt my heart again, and traded for a Mac.
Now, I'll be the first to admit I don't know what the fuck it is that I'm doing, but I also know it's fun... and the thing itself is absolutely stunning.
So, I have a mac. And I love it.

Let's hope I do more on it than only play poker.

Crap

My dad's side of the family is very into diet fads.
They'll do anything to lose weight... anything but eat right and exercise.

About a week ago, they approached my quite excitedly. Apparently, an acquaintance lost 37 pounds in a month taking some "magical pills."
They wanted to know if I was interested in taking such pills... especially since the entire family (more like, both of my dad's sisters and their families) was on board (another acquaintance got them prescriptions and they were willing to dish out as many prescriptions as "necessary").
I, of course, turned the offer down... I don't play with that shit. And prescription diet pills? PASS... that shit's for the morbidly obese who need help with the initial steps of dropping weight... and you should really get checked out by a doc before ingesting something like that.

Fast forward to yesterday.
One of my cousins works for my dad. Work for him consists of sitting on a chair, waiting for buses to pull up to the diesel pump, he then approves the transaction, once the driver walks into the building my cousin asks for the driver's signature, and he then gives him a copy of his receipt. Basically, his job consists of SITTING.

My cousin has been morbidly obese since his middle school years, when their family doctor threatened my aunt with legal action if she didn't get her son on a proper diet and exercise program. Upon hearing about these magic pills, he jumped on the idea. His entire family did.

Apparently (I didn't witness this, I was told the story by my father last night, as he was nearly pissing his pants from laughing so hard), Dad's brother-in-law (obese cousin's dad) was at work yesterday afternoon... my dad's work.

Dad: Hey, what's up?
Uncle: Just dropping by... checking on my son... making sure everything's going ok.
Dad: Those pills workin' well for you guys?
Uncle: Oh man... TOO well... you gotta watch out with those those things. You can't even fart in peace...
Dad: Why?
Uncle: Just the simplest movement can trigger... well... you know... shit.
Dad: What?? As in... shitting your pants, shit?
Uncle: Yes!

(Dad looks at my cousin, cousin nods with a smirk on his face)

Uncle: Yesterday I shit my pants thinking I was only farting!

(all three guys laugh... then my cousin stands still... with a worried look on his face)

Dad: You just shit your pants, didn't you?

(Cousin nods)

Uncle: Fuck... I'll be back... gotta bring the diaper bag from home.
Dad: Gotta bring him underwear?

(Uncle nods... then they both burst into laughter)

Dad proceeds to tell me, in the middle of dry heaves from laughing so hard, how my cousin looked with his shitted pants.
Dad: I was so concerned with where he was standing... making sure there wasn't any shit lying around for others to see. He just stood there, frozen... not wanting to put his legs together... his eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

(Uncle comes back with fresh underwear for my cousin, and new pants)

Dad: Well, let's forget about me ever taking those pills... that would be a disaster! I drive a semi!

(All three laugh... then my uncle stands still)

Uncle: Fuck... I gotta go.
Dad: You just shit your pants?

(uncle nods)

Dad: Yeah... fuck those pills.

It was like a real-life episode of Terrence and Philip...
but fuck me if I wasn't laughing!

Going

"Remember... Elvis didn't go to the crowds, the crowds came to Elvis. Girls don't go to the boys... the boys will come looking for the girls."

I went for academic advice, but apparently "heartbreak" is written across my face.

Advice appreciated, however. The person dishing it I've unofficially adopted as my new grandfather.
He makes me happy :)

I'm going back to school... and that makes me SO damn happy!