Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I leave for Mexico later today.

We're traveling through Juarez.

In all honesty, I've never been so scared.

Please, I mean this with all my heart: pray for my family.

My only wish is to come back alive from this shit (to suffer some more because of love troubles... haha).

Have a great life, people... mine is spiraling out of control.

Monday, June 15, 2009

I've never been there...

So... I came clean to MGH in Cancun.
Of course, I needed the help from my cousin... and I waited until Thursday to let him in on the news.

I spent Thursday visiting Chichen Itza from 6 AM until 8 PM. I was driven to my hotel only to be told it was on fire.
My hotel was on fire, and I had to stand outside.
We were evacuated, but I was worried because MGH and Mooney were separated from my sis and I, since they didn't go on the tour with us.
After being allowed to my room in complete darkness to collect "only the essential!" I was reunited with Mooney and MGH. We took a taxi to a different hotel that we were set up to stay for the remainder of our visit.

I noticed MGH was a bit weird... and he then told me Mooney had told him I "needed to tell him something" and that I "would get sad whenever he went out with his friends."
I would have told him the truth right then and there, but since TravelinDin was in the room, I acted like he was crazy.
We proceeded to go to a nightclub... all 11 of our gang (we befriended all the teens of the hotel, haha), where I noticed he would hang around us more often than usual (we had gone to another club on Sunday, where he pretty much vanished into the crowd after half an hour).
I danced with him for a while, but once 3 AM rolled around, my sis was ready to drop and she wanted to leave. So we did... hence, I couldn't talk to him about the day's events.

The fact MGH hadn't said anything about Thursday was bugging the shit out of me, so come Friday afternoon, I told him after a dinner at Margaritaville.
Originally, I wasn't going to... but I was buzzed from a loaded margarita (I also hadn't had food that day, so I became buzzed almost immediately).

Mooney and TravelinDin left Margaritaville, but I heard a song that stopped me in my tracks as I was walking out.

MGH: Then let's stayyy!
Me: Oh my God... why are they playing THIS song?
MGH: IDK... let's listen.

So these break dancers started doing a show on stage to my song.
The liquid courage got to me, and I said:
"Mooney told me what she old you..."
MGH: About what?
Me: (giving him my "Oh, don't you act like you don't know what I'm talking about!" look, but at the same time immediately regretting ever opening my mouth) You know..
MGH: About you getting bummed out when I go out?
Me: No... come on... she said someth... oh my god... did that guy just do that?!

(I look over to the break dancers who were doing some crazy shit with their bodies)
Me: Man, these girls are gone! let's catch up!

And... that's how that ended.
He acted like he didn't know what was going on... this can't be good... he doesn't want me to talk about it... I know it... wow... just... wow...
No need to press the matter... I felt stupid enough.

I finally told him "you know... Mooney told you the truth... I do like you" at 1 AM today. No, not on the phone... not on skype... through a message on facebook.
Yes. I said a lot of things... including this line, that may sound corny as fuck, but I meant/mean with all sincerity: To me, you are perfect.

I avoided him the rest of the day... No need to say more... I know the outcome.

He left for Mexico today...
I leave for another part of Mexico Tomorrow.
I won't see him/hear from him until late August, if I'm lucky.

And that's how we end things with that story (sorry I got you involved in this, Mooney... but you have no idea how much I appreciate your assistance. Thank you. You were right... it felt good to get it all out... to be blunt about it... even if the outcome was not the one desired. Let's never speak of this again... I feel stupid enough for involving you in all this shit :( ).

But let's get to the imprtant part of this all: What was the song playing in the background as my heart was breaking Friday afternoon at Margaritaville?
The song that stopped me in my tracks, gave me courage, and eventually made everything seem to go in heart-breaking slow motion?

I kid you not.

My life is a motherfucking movie... one in which I don't enjoy being such a lonely protagonist.

baaack from cancun

I had thought about updating on the day I arrived, but I was tired... and the following day I had to get up early... and it was just a longggg ass day.
So I decided to update now, at two am of the long ass day.

Anyway, I will post Cancun photos tomorrow... if I remember.

The trip wasn't a bust... just... well, only in the heart department. That shit went down just like everyone predicted.
Surprise, surprise... I might as well join a convent by now... this sucks.

I leave for Durango on Wedensday... I think.

Here's to me surviving this shit.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

la playa

I leave for Cancun tomorrow.
This trip has been in the works since... shoot... October? November? I can't remember... but I just thought it was never going to get here.

I will come back tanner...
and probably more miserable than I already am.
I could almost put money on it.