Wednesday, December 31, 2008

'08 in review

Weird times. Weird, annoying times.
Too much praying... too many references to God and Jesus... too many strange visitors.
I was left siblingless...
Couldn't have passed any slower... even with the help of Guitar Hero.

That whole Hepatitis C scare bullshit... man!
I purchased my Euro-trip tickets...
Things were gonna be alright :]

Lonely, quiet birthday... with nothing... and I mean NOTHING.
I visited places I had only dreamed of before!

I met the love of my life: Barcelona!
I went to my first soccer match... to see some of the world's greatest players... to cheer with some of the craziest fans... and I got to boo Barcelona and cuss to my heart's content!
I cried my ass off when I had to COME BACK.
I came back... :[

Saw my siblings come back from the old continent.
Prepared for one of my best friend's weddings.
Slowwww time.

The wedding... that horrible time.
Not subjecting myself to that shit ever again.
Left for Mexico... scared as fuck... hoping I don't die.
Time goes by EVEN SLOWER.

What can I say?
Too much Guitar Hero...
Too much day dreaming...
Too much drinking...
singing disney songs at the top of my lungs at gas stations...
Bloody scars and  STILL danced
Too much makeup
Too much fun

From the get-go, DRAMA.
nasty words...
Getting deleted from Myspace and Facebook...
awkward silences...
saying goodbye
too much fucking heat!
Walked the strip one too many times!
road trips that were 10+ hours long... I'm shocked I didn't get that one illness... or died.
the bayyyy!

Laughed until it hurt
Made peace with one of the parties involved in the giant August argument.
Fell in love... with everything.
Smoked... yeah... but not anything illegal... but never again.
Lied... a few times... haha

Drama... again.
The suite party...
Reciprocating the lovely gesture from the Bay area kids I so love and adore... haha.
More walking of the strip... gahhhh
more tears...
heart break
That stupid massage night that was the final straw ::crack::

The definition of drama... seriously.
Heart break beyond belief.
More fighting... big time.
Ripping someone off my friendship list... more like two people... for good.
Betrayal... hardcore.
Crying... sobbing so loud, even I got annoyed with myself.
I was a hermit

decided enough was enough... let him go... that hurt.
Grandpa went crazy... we're told he's gonna die... so now we prepare ourselves for the end.
Dad's place gets robbed.
Our lives get threatened.
No more Mexico.
I make peace with the girl I said I'd never mention again... we're friends again... and wow... it feels good. I feel stupid for being angry so long.
My heart still hurts... metaphorically.
I'll never trust again.
Plans for the future are made... I have dreams and aspirations once more... with NO GUYS involved... NO MORE ROMANCE. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Here's to a great 2009!
I'm stoked!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

a... ok

I figured out why December is also going out like a bitch:
Had it been fantastic, it would have been difficult for me to let go of 2008.

I'd be one of those people who constantly talk about the past (as if I don't already)...
and all my sentences would probably begin with
"I remember, in '08..." etc.

I'm pretty sure my new sentence starter will be
"You think that sucks? Well... back in 2008..."


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Cheers to the craziest weekend

It's crazy how life can take such drastic changes in a matter of... I'll say 3 days.

This weekend just... fuck... it was messed up.

The drama culminated last night when I got home from having some drinks with the homies. Mom was still awake, and we talked about the following.

I guess my grandpa became increasingly sick.
All the nonsense he was talking finally pissed my dad off enough that he called the cops so they could "force" my grandpa to go to the hospital (which of course, they said they couldn't do, but they did go to the house and have a talk with Dad and his siblings). Once Grandpa saw the cops, he agreed to go to the hospital.
They ran a CAT scan on him, and the results were bad... so my dad and his siblings have stayed at the hospital.
[Today, Grandpa got worse, they moved him to the ICU and gave him sedatives 'cause I guess he can have a heart attack at any moment.
I went to visit him earlier today, but he was asleep the entire time.
My aunts, uncle, and dad are expecting him to die... and that's why they forced me to go see him... even if I kept repeating that visiting an unconscious, delirious man who doesn't remember me (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. But supposedly he has "never met any of AnoMALIEsDad's kids." All this is just... so messed up, man) at the ICU is a bad idea (cluttering the ICU area? NOT ideal. Next to my gramp's room, there was his poor dude who was FUCKED up... his face all messed up, I'm guessing he was involved in a car wreck of some sort).]

We can no longer visit Mexico until further notice.
We had plans to leave Tuesday night to spend the holidays over there... but things have gotten pretty bad over there.
They abducted an acquaintance of ours not too long ago (in broad daylight, in front of his kids), his family paid the ransom... and now, they have warned us not to go.
We're "at great risk"... basically threatened... Dad, my bro, my sis, and me.
Because I have IDIOT relatives who fucking love to run their mouths... and told the entire damn area how much money we have...
And you know how that works... the grapevine... zeros are added... properties... etc... and our trip overseas didn't help.

my life pretty much sucks right now.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Last night, my dad's place got robbed at gunpoint.

He's had the business for 16 years... and yesterday it was robbed for the first time ever.

By 3 Mexicans...

I hope their entire fucking families starve to death.

Worthless motherfuckers.

(wtf, December... you're sucking dick big time, so far...)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Angels and Demons

Top Stories of the week:

1. I was approached the other day in this manner:
"Yo... gimme some good break up songs."
Me: What type? There are different ways of approaching a breakup.
"You know... the 'You broke up with me, but I don't give a fuck because I fucking hate you anyways, you fucking asshole and I'm moving the fuck on without your stupid ass' type of song"
Me: Oh... sorry... all my breakup songs are along the lines of "You broke up with me... but it's ok... I'll keep loving you anyway... because I'm a dumbfuck like that..." type song
"Yeah... that shit won't do."

2. I spent the last week going to church EVERY day... all in honor of the Virgin of Guadalupe, who is celebrated today (while I am a follower and I do have her image dangling from my neck in a nice gold chain I've worn since 4th grade... the actual celebration drives me ape shit. WAYYY too many people go to church and act barbaric and DON'T follow rules... etc. It just... exasperates me. For that precise reason, I got my ass up at 4:30 in the morning today and went to the very first mass of the day, which was at 6 AM. Of course, while it went swimmingly for the most part... I got there sort of late and I had to sit in the back with all the men who were sitting there because they were gonna leave ASAP afterwards to some construction site job. Anyway, some of these dudes were... well... being typical Mexicans. One in particular had a thing for leaning into me... like... actually, physically touching me, putting a lot of his weight with his entire left arm all over my arm/chest... and while I'd give him the "WTF is your problem, bitch? Want me to punch you?" look, he gave me the "hehe... it was an accident... for the fifth time..." look. But eh... whatever... at least he smelled nice. haha). One of these days, we got there while English mass was still going on. One of my favorite priests (the one I like getting confessed by) was the one running the show that day, so we (mom, sis, and I) took a seat and listened to the end of it, acting like we knew what was going on and stuff.
Everything was fine and dandy up until the end.
He walked into the... sacristy (?) [That little hidden room where they have the holy water and stuff stashed... where they change into their garb...], he was out of our sight... and that's when it happened:
He forgot to turn off his mic.
The choir was going off singing their song (which I find BORING. I'm not a fan. It's a major reason why I avoid English mass... it's too dry for my taste... the words... the voice... the instruments... the singers... they're so... blah-- and often really mean to us Hispanic people at church... they look at us like we're about to mug their uptight ass) when this super loud... somewhat maniacal laughter overpowered the singer's voice. Everyone looked back at the choir... as if the noise were coming from them... but Little Sister and I knew immediately what was going on...
so we broke laughing... out loud.
We looked around and everyone was freaking out.
Not the typical "AHHHH!! We're all gonna die!" type freak-out... but the "oh... my... God... what... is this... oh... God... what's happening? I'm scared... is this... the end of the world?" type freakout.
The people were frozen in place, looking around wide-eyed, as this LOUD, scary laugh was resounding throughout church.... with the choir lady still singing.
Then the laughing stops... well, from the priest, Little Sis and I are still laughing, tears streaming down our face.
"Ha-ha-ha... FUCK YOU!!" we hear the priest say.
o...k... not cool...
And that's when Little Sis and I sort of stopped our fit of laughter and got a little bummed out.

Dude... he's human afterall...
Me: Dude... I tell this guy my sins... WTF?

"This is not India!" the Priest goes on.
By now, I just wanna go in there to prevent the man from going on and eventually hurting people's feelings any further... luckily, someone beat me to it and the place went silent.
Poor white people (and a family of Indians...) walked out of church pretty upset.
I just laughed for another half hour, then felt stupid wondering if this guy goes around making fun of my sins and stuff...
Poor dude.

3. My remaining grandfather is delusional now. He's going around making up some CRAZY stories about my mom (i.e. that she's cheating on my father so grandpa wants to kill her.... yeah...) and us kids ("They said they were coming to see me... they told me on the internet!" He has never been near a computer...). This has my dad pretty upset. He now wants to exorcise him... because according to Dad, "THIS IS THE WORK OF A DEMON!"

I don't know who's crazier...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Prey pray

I went to confessionals the other day.

I can almost swear (although that's frowned upon by the Catholics) I freaked that priest out.

He tapped my head and asked if he could pray for me.


As long as I don't start spewing green stuff out my mouth, it's all good.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Do something about it!

November was a whopper of a month...

I had some very, VERY dark days.
Usually, when I'm depressed, my creative side kicks in and I pull out some great art. I have my dark days to thank for some of my favorite drawings/stories.

Not this time.
I've never encountered darkness to this degree. I went nowhere near a pencil... and the most coming out of my mouth were monosyllabic words.
I played wayyy too many Facebook games... I didn't really eat (not like I've had a good relationship with food, anyway. Everyone's aware of our antagonistic relationship)... I cried every single day (no... seriously... I did)... and I ignored everyone... everyone.

BUT, after much thought...
I'm through with letting this mood go any further.
I lived and I learned... I stopped living (metaphorically, of course. I did not play the choking game to pass out for a couple of minutes... none of that)... now let's keep on with the living.
Plus... it's December... and while November has always been my favorite month, 2008 fucked it up... so now it's December's job to be fan-fucking-tastic (even with me NOT going to the bay area like was planned for 4 fucking months... but hey... I'm cool... it's cool... whatever-- thanks for the words Chase. While Mom and TravelinDin had been telling me the same thing... it was actually your input that just... pushed me to the decision. Sure... I cried... a lot... and it took about 3 days of me constantly telling myself DON'T DO IT!... even writing it all over my wall... but... I survived and DIDN'T buy the ticket).
I CAN'T end December on a sour note. I CAN'T let 2008 end like that.
AnoMALIE WILL laugh.
AnoMALIE WILL NOT let those crazy bad thoughts back into her head...

I'll live long...
and I'll prosper.