Him: A word to the wise...
ladies- please don't be a cat! that is such a cop out!
so is a vampire
I asked him what was up with that (since you know, I've never "celebrated" Halloween or anything).
He just said I'd understand come Halloween time.
But being a cat would be so cute...
Ok... so last night I figured out why it was said.
What the fuck is wrong with us girls?
Out of all the chicks at the party, four were pirates. Four!!!
Their costumes were freakishly similar (but never the same one).
-There was a slutty nurse (who I felt compelled to ask if she knew what a defibrillator was... as well as what "inoculation" meant, but alas, I bit my tongue and smiled at her when she publicly explained "I'm a nurse! hehe..." Gee, you don't say? I thought those red crosses stood for radioactive material).
-There was a hardcore SKANKY cop (oh believe me, there will be pictures, once I find them... and I'll compare them to the cop costume one of my best friends wore last year. So much better).
-There was a playboy bunny (not so skanky... but... maybe that was because she wasn't as "voluptuous" as the other chicks i.e. she was a twig with no breast implants)
-There was one cheerleader (which baffled me... because... I thought more chicks dressed up as cheerleaders).
-There was a... sexy ladybug? (I still kind of am confused as to what this girl was... but there was a ton of skin, stiletto heels, knee-high stockings... and what appeared to be the wings of a lady bug??)
-There were TWO cats.
"I'm a sexy kitty!" (said with the world's most annoying Ghetto NewYoRican accent. I'm talking more annoying than Rosie Perez. Yeah, well, can the sexy kitty please just... meow or something, fuck!)
There were more... but those are the most memorable.
What was I? That's for me to know and you to never find out.
When the girls arrived... I started wondering where the hell I was.
When in the hell... did I become acquainted with (to?) Playboy Playmates, and why am I invited to their parties?
Somehow... over the last... 4 years since I graduated high school, my female acquaintances have become... scandalously... stereotypical Vegas chicks.
That'd be great if I were a dude... (I guess my guy friends luck out... when it comes to eye candy of course, because none of these girls have much going on en la cabeza... and they're poster girls for the derogatory use of the word "bitch," to tell you the truth. Plus, the dudes invited to these parties cockblock like a motherfucker, and give you shit if you bring a dude that isn't part of the group... kind of like lions do when new male come near their pride. Primitive bastards)
Or maybe if the guy acquaintances from high school would have done such a thing... wait, no... 'cause if they were stereotypical Vegas guys, they'd be douche bags... which my high school male acquaintances sure fucking are.
(To sum it up, yesterday's party was... wow... just wow.)
yada fucking yada.