Monday, August 31, 2015

otro año

ARRGHHHH! This month fucking zipped right past me!
I was supposed to post often, and I WOULD start the process... but I'd stop myself. Usual story.

It's proving more difficult than anticipated to share the tale of the ingrate... the manipulator... the... sellout. The liar. I can't bring myself to speak of it, much less write it down.

I can also feel the sadness creeping in. The attack on my emotional health is subtle this time around, nowhere near as random or abrupt as it was back in January. Things are piling up and getting the best of my nerves... totally not boding well for the near future.
BUT! For the time being, I'm doing my best to remain calm.

Tomorrow I take off to yet another place that more than likely will do a number on me... I'm going to Hometown.
Nice way to start September, right?

Here goes nothing.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Siempre me quedara la luz suave del mar

It isn't the same anymore-- you're missing... and my eyes grow tired of searching for you.
I watch the building pass in a blurr... and struggle to remember the pretty feeling from years ago... when you'd drive me in the unpredictable, rainy Bay weather.
The pretty feeling... "Please remember that pretty feeling... don't forget that pretty feeling."
I could look forward to better days... I'd look forward to being older... I dreamed of the endless awesome possibilities for a girl as talented... and devoted as I.

Pero todo cambia. It's all different.
Everyone and everything's different... except me.
It's like... I fell through the cracks, into a moment in time where only I remain constant while my surrounding wilt and wash away... everyone leaves and grows... everyone but me.

The Bay... It's so much harder to do the bay without the company of either of my favorite dude companions... My partners in crime for the past 7 years.

Hopelessly searching for that pretty feeling.