Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This or that

Forgive and forget? It's all good, babe, it hurt like super concentrated nitric acid running down my throat... but I love you and that's all that will ever matter.


Fuck that shit! Ignore, IGNORE, IGNORE! Have some self respect, you idiot!


I fear I'm giving these kids the impression that they can step all over me... (I mean, yeah, I'm generally a good person... but come on... there comes a point where this "niceness" must be considered idiocy... and I'm pretty sure I'm crossing that line)
I'm going to be a horrible mom (I can be such a heartless bitch with people... why not them? Note to self: DON'T EVER EVER EVER HAVE KIDS!!).

Thursday, November 13, 2008

... I'm suffocating.

That all too familiar feeling has a hold of me again.

... the one where you feel like your chest is getting compacted by two giant bulldozers.

I'm broken... and I'm gonna stay that way.

The person I least expected to break my heart, did...

my own godson.

I'm out [my trust in people? completely gone... for good].

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Fight! Fight! Fight! A chick and a... chick!

Sweet baby carrots...
Man... what a freaking weekend.

Why is it that girls love to incite such drama?
It sort of scares me how so many of them get a rise (I think that choice of words works best when referring to a dude, but whatever, I don't feel like jogging my brain for a better phrase) in seeing the offended party react. They get so excited... ape-style... when they see a girl react violently to shady news.

Of course... the latest person offering the spectacle was me... surprise, surprise.
Being that I've had ENOUGH of girls talking shit, I went off and spewed at the mouth last night (well, I had originally been told of the shit Friday night... then I got an early morning phone call Saturday, where I was told of all the shit-talking-- things are STILL being said about that damned October weekend when we celebrated my sister's 21st b'day-- this time, to an explicit extent), and I dealt with the backlash today.

I felt GREAT after letting it all out. It was the damn catharsis I was desperately seeking.

I wrote the heart-felt bulletin (yeah, of course, this business was handled via Myspace, since the bitches live in California, and driving all the way out there to slap them around for a couple of minutes isn't quite worth it. Plus, it serves as fair warning to anyone else thinking about talking shit... especially Las Vegas residents. Get me THAT pissed and you best believe I WILL hunt your ass down and we WILL have a nasty altercation) Saturday afternoon, then left for the rest of the day.
When I got back home, I had 10 replies to my bulletin. TEN.
Do you know how hard that is? I mean, I bet that happens on a daily basis to people who have 200+ friends... but I'm lucky if I get ONE reply.
Ten is definitely a scary number.
Out of those ten, ONE was a dude... a drunk one, actually.
The dude was being protective, of course, offering to beat anyone's ass for me because "You're a sister to me, man! A SISTER TO ME!"
The chicks?
"Whoa! What happened, man?! What's the bitch's name?!"
Then the text messages came... (Mooney, yours wasn't a surprise, you're like a sister to me, haha. So you being concerned for me was actually comforting)
and they all seemed... excited.


At least I now know who to invite to UFC fights...
and who'll be there to talk some sense into me if I ever get worked up at a bar (on the flip side, who I should TOTALLY avoid, unless I want to gain fame as AnoMALIE, bar-fighting extraordinaire).

Thursday, November 6, 2008

... ho hum...

I had planned to write something every day for the month of November... but I guess that idea went down the John.

I haven't been doing so good...
October was one mess of a month (way to kill my 2008, October... you outdid August, believe it or not... fucker).
My mental state is... man... I don't know how to put it.
No, I'm no longer walking around crying everywhere, wrapped in a blanket...
But I am cleaning like fucking crazy... I had this conversation with my sis just yesterday, after I cleaned out most of her room (there were things in there that hadn't been touched since 1999):

TravelinDin: Damn... you should have mental breakdowns more often...
Me: Fuck you, fool.
TravelinDin: Or shit... just make cleaning your career!

No one in the house is complaining about this cleaning phase of mine... not even yours truly over here. My only... downer about it is the fact that I find things I wrote/were written to me/ were collected by me during some of the worst times of my life... and going back to those days REALLY fucks me up.

But I suspect the rest of my family is also going through some sort of emotional issue...
Well... first off, we get that 3 for 1 deal thing from Embark... you know, satellite/phone (that pisses me the fuck off because it SUCKS!)/internet (that once again, SUCKS because we STILL don't get it because apparently, the fucking boonies where I'm located is fucking stupid or haunted or some shit... because it's quite fucking impossible to get FAST internet in these here stupidass parts of Las Vegas) last week...
then, a giant rift forms in the family due to SOME people voting McCain... and the rest voting Obama...
and now...
they went off and bought themselves a 65-inch plasma (LCD? I dunno... whatever, like I care) for the living room.


I have a feeling my family thinks they can single-handedly fix the US's failing economy...
Oh, sweet, sweet Republicans...