I really like messing with that stuff.
Eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner... pluckers... you name it... I'll experiment with that part of my face.
I used to have thin eyebrows when I first started plucking (who plucked them for me? Mom, obviously) back in 7th grade. Prior to that... while my brows weren't unibrows... they were pretty thick.
I guess that's probably the reason Mom went all drastic on me back in middle school and made my eyebrows basically non-existent.
I went around like this for about two years. Then the day came when I saw myself in a photo and thought "Holy cow!! What the hell! Oh my! I look like a bitch!"
I hated it.
So I let the brows grow... not to their natural state... but pretty close.
I've been like that since... eleventh grade.
A couple of months back I had made a comment on my eyebrows to Little Sister... something along the lines of:
"I'm seriously thinking about going old school with my eyebrows... like back in the day when I had those really thin eyebrows... but I really don't know if I should because they make me look mean..." (and they do... they make me look like a conceited bitch ready to bark at you if you try and cross a word with me. It's bad!)
Little Sister (along with most of my female first cousins) became all excited.
"Yeah!! Do it! You looked pretty like that!!"
Which then leads me to say something like:
"What the fuck? What about now? Do I look like a fucking Yettie with these eyebrows? Like I have some damn... black caterpillars on my face or something? 'Makes me look pretty.' Fuck you, man... that's pretty backhanded."
Now, Mom never heard me say this, so she never put her two cents in like she loves to. Had she heard, she might have gone on and on. Why? Because she too has strong feelings towards brows (I found this out about two weeks ago... and today, again) .
All she ever did when Little Sister first plucked her eyebrows was complain about how tiny they were.
a)b)Exhibit A is Little Sister without makeup. Exhibit B is Little Sister with makeup.
I can understand why Little Sister would like me to join her in the Tiny Eyebrow Group... since she basically has a black line on top of her eyes that she considers eyebrows.
I'm not hating... that's her thing.
If she feels comfortable in that... more power to her.
I don't really do it because I don't really like the type of guy it attracts (she does).
Also... aren't "Mexican Girls" usually thought of as having really tiny, drawn-on eyebrows? Hardcore "Harlows."
I tried defending Little Sister... but you know... My style.
I pointed out Mom's eyebrows from a couple of photo albums Mom had lying around the house:
a)b)Exhibit A is Mom without makeup, and B is her with it (she looks super different in that picture... look at them brows... Jesus...). Not very different to Little Sister's. Little Sister just learned from her Momma (I on the other hand... learned from the television).
Anyway, I stopped insisting about the eyebrow thing once I went to Mexico.
I became pretty happy with my brows.
However, on our last Sunday in Mexico, I noticed Little Sister was missing a third of her right eyebrow.
She was messing with me... I think she may have been making fun of me (that's what we do to stay awake in church) and I finally mouthed off:
"At least I still have two eyebrows!"
Which led to her bothering me about which eyebrow was missing for the duration of mass.
Once outside, I directed her to the nearest car, shoved her face towards the side mirror and pointed at the eyebrow,
"You're now the proud owner of one and two thirds of an eyebrow. Congratulations. Next time, be a little more careful with the razor."
So Little Sister spent her last days in Mexico drawing on her right eyebrow.
Well, this led to some sort of... tiny trauma in her (she now double checks her eyebrows are balanced).
This only made Mom and me laugh.
Mom told Little Sister that she needed to go easy on her eyebrows... and probably let them grow out a little more.
I then jokingly said "Yeah... get them perfect like mine. Not too thick... not too thin."
That then led to mom saying "No... no... yours are too thick."
And Little Sister laughed and said the same thing.
I didn't really care... so I let that shit slip and totally forgot it ever happened.
As long as I don't have a unibrow, I feel I've done my job in keeping up with society's standards for acceptable brows.
Well, today, Mom... out of the blue... brought up the eyebrow conversation again.
She now wants me to make mine thinner.
She even told me how thin... how they should look (I guess this shit has been bothering her since Mexico... cause she had it all planned out like she had been studying my brows for months).
We talked about the damn thing for half an hour!
I tried convincing her my eyebrows were OK, and she tried explaining to me why they weren't.
Now... Little Sister and Mom need to add makeup in order for their brows to be visible (well, Mom no longer needs to because she got hers tattooed---how fucking Mexican, huh?-- which leads to another one of my arguments, but this time about tattoos. I tell her she has tats on her face... no other tattoo that I may want to get can be more hardcore than that)... I feel I don't even need to do that because, Hey! Look at that! AnoMALIE already has eyebrows!
But nooo... Mom feels my eyebrows are a little too "masculine."
Now that I think about it... Cristiano Ronaldo may have slightly thinner brows than me... just... maybe.