Wednesday, December 31, 2008

'08 in review

Weird times. Weird, annoying times.
Too much praying... too many references to God and Jesus... too many strange visitors.
I was left siblingless...
Couldn't have passed any slower... even with the help of Guitar Hero.

That whole Hepatitis C scare bullshit... man!
I purchased my Euro-trip tickets...
Things were gonna be alright :]

Lonely, quiet birthday... with nothing... and I mean NOTHING.
I visited places I had only dreamed of before!

I met the love of my life: Barcelona!
I went to my first soccer match... to see some of the world's greatest players... to cheer with some of the craziest fans... and I got to boo Barcelona and cuss to my heart's content!
I cried my ass off when I had to COME BACK.
I came back... :[

Saw my siblings come back from the old continent.
Prepared for one of my best friend's weddings.
Slowwww time.

The wedding... that horrible time.
Not subjecting myself to that shit ever again.
Left for Mexico... scared as fuck... hoping I don't die.
Time goes by EVEN SLOWER.

What can I say?
Too much Guitar Hero...
Too much day dreaming...
Too much drinking...
singing disney songs at the top of my lungs at gas stations...
Bloody scars and  STILL danced
Too much makeup
Too much fun

From the get-go, DRAMA.
nasty words...
Getting deleted from Myspace and Facebook...
awkward silences...
saying goodbye
too much fucking heat!
Walked the strip one too many times!
road trips that were 10+ hours long... I'm shocked I didn't get that one illness... or died.
the bayyyy!

Laughed until it hurt
Made peace with one of the parties involved in the giant August argument.
Fell in love... with everything.
Smoked... yeah... but not anything illegal... but never again.
Lied... a few times... haha

Drama... again.
The suite party...
Reciprocating the lovely gesture from the Bay area kids I so love and adore... haha.
More walking of the strip... gahhhh
more tears...
heart break
That stupid massage night that was the final straw ::crack::

The definition of drama... seriously.
Heart break beyond belief.
More fighting... big time.
Ripping someone off my friendship list... more like two people... for good.
Betrayal... hardcore.
Crying... sobbing so loud, even I got annoyed with myself.
I was a hermit

decided enough was enough... let him go... that hurt.
Grandpa went crazy... we're told he's gonna die... so now we prepare ourselves for the end.
Dad's place gets robbed.
Our lives get threatened.
No more Mexico.
I make peace with the girl I said I'd never mention again... we're friends again... and wow... it feels good. I feel stupid for being angry so long.
My heart still hurts... metaphorically.
I'll never trust again.
Plans for the future are made... I have dreams and aspirations once more... with NO GUYS involved... NO MORE ROMANCE. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Here's to a great 2009!
I'm stoked!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

a... ok

I figured out why December is also going out like a bitch:
Had it been fantastic, it would have been difficult for me to let go of 2008.

I'd be one of those people who constantly talk about the past (as if I don't already)...
and all my sentences would probably begin with
"I remember, in '08..." etc.

I'm pretty sure my new sentence starter will be
"You think that sucks? Well... back in 2008..."


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Cheers to the craziest weekend

It's crazy how life can take such drastic changes in a matter of... I'll say 3 days.

This weekend just... fuck... it was messed up.

The drama culminated last night when I got home from having some drinks with the homies. Mom was still awake, and we talked about the following.

I guess my grandpa became increasingly sick.
All the nonsense he was talking finally pissed my dad off enough that he called the cops so they could "force" my grandpa to go to the hospital (which of course, they said they couldn't do, but they did go to the house and have a talk with Dad and his siblings). Once Grandpa saw the cops, he agreed to go to the hospital.
They ran a CAT scan on him, and the results were bad... so my dad and his siblings have stayed at the hospital.
[Today, Grandpa got worse, they moved him to the ICU and gave him sedatives 'cause I guess he can have a heart attack at any moment.
I went to visit him earlier today, but he was asleep the entire time.
My aunts, uncle, and dad are expecting him to die... and that's why they forced me to go see him... even if I kept repeating that visiting an unconscious, delirious man who doesn't remember me (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. But supposedly he has "never met any of AnoMALIEsDad's kids." All this is just... so messed up, man) at the ICU is a bad idea (cluttering the ICU area? NOT ideal. Next to my gramp's room, there was his poor dude who was FUCKED up... his face all messed up, I'm guessing he was involved in a car wreck of some sort).]

We can no longer visit Mexico until further notice.
We had plans to leave Tuesday night to spend the holidays over there... but things have gotten pretty bad over there.
They abducted an acquaintance of ours not too long ago (in broad daylight, in front of his kids), his family paid the ransom... and now, they have warned us not to go.
We're "at great risk"... basically threatened... Dad, my bro, my sis, and me.
Because I have IDIOT relatives who fucking love to run their mouths... and told the entire damn area how much money we have...
And you know how that works... the grapevine... zeros are added... properties... etc... and our trip overseas didn't help.

my life pretty much sucks right now.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Last night, my dad's place got robbed at gunpoint.

He's had the business for 16 years... and yesterday it was robbed for the first time ever.

By 3 Mexicans...

I hope their entire fucking families starve to death.

Worthless motherfuckers.

(wtf, December... you're sucking dick big time, so far...)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Angels and Demons

Top Stories of the week:

1. I was approached the other day in this manner:
"Yo... gimme some good break up songs."
Me: What type? There are different ways of approaching a breakup.
"You know... the 'You broke up with me, but I don't give a fuck because I fucking hate you anyways, you fucking asshole and I'm moving the fuck on without your stupid ass' type of song"
Me: Oh... sorry... all my breakup songs are along the lines of "You broke up with me... but it's ok... I'll keep loving you anyway... because I'm a dumbfuck like that..." type song
"Yeah... that shit won't do."

2. I spent the last week going to church EVERY day... all in honor of the Virgin of Guadalupe, who is celebrated today (while I am a follower and I do have her image dangling from my neck in a nice gold chain I've worn since 4th grade... the actual celebration drives me ape shit. WAYYY too many people go to church and act barbaric and DON'T follow rules... etc. It just... exasperates me. For that precise reason, I got my ass up at 4:30 in the morning today and went to the very first mass of the day, which was at 6 AM. Of course, while it went swimmingly for the most part... I got there sort of late and I had to sit in the back with all the men who were sitting there because they were gonna leave ASAP afterwards to some construction site job. Anyway, some of these dudes were... well... being typical Mexicans. One in particular had a thing for leaning into me... like... actually, physically touching me, putting a lot of his weight with his entire left arm all over my arm/chest... and while I'd give him the "WTF is your problem, bitch? Want me to punch you?" look, he gave me the "hehe... it was an accident... for the fifth time..." look. But eh... whatever... at least he smelled nice. haha). One of these days, we got there while English mass was still going on. One of my favorite priests (the one I like getting confessed by) was the one running the show that day, so we (mom, sis, and I) took a seat and listened to the end of it, acting like we knew what was going on and stuff.
Everything was fine and dandy up until the end.
He walked into the... sacristy (?) [That little hidden room where they have the holy water and stuff stashed... where they change into their garb...], he was out of our sight... and that's when it happened:
He forgot to turn off his mic.
The choir was going off singing their song (which I find BORING. I'm not a fan. It's a major reason why I avoid English mass... it's too dry for my taste... the words... the voice... the instruments... the singers... they're so... blah-- and often really mean to us Hispanic people at church... they look at us like we're about to mug their uptight ass) when this super loud... somewhat maniacal laughter overpowered the singer's voice. Everyone looked back at the choir... as if the noise were coming from them... but Little Sister and I knew immediately what was going on...
so we broke laughing... out loud.
We looked around and everyone was freaking out.
Not the typical "AHHHH!! We're all gonna die!" type freak-out... but the "oh... my... God... what... is this... oh... God... what's happening? I'm scared... is this... the end of the world?" type freakout.
The people were frozen in place, looking around wide-eyed, as this LOUD, scary laugh was resounding throughout church.... with the choir lady still singing.
Then the laughing stops... well, from the priest, Little Sis and I are still laughing, tears streaming down our face.
"Ha-ha-ha... FUCK YOU!!" we hear the priest say.
o...k... not cool...
And that's when Little Sis and I sort of stopped our fit of laughter and got a little bummed out.

Dude... he's human afterall...
Me: Dude... I tell this guy my sins... WTF?

"This is not India!" the Priest goes on.
By now, I just wanna go in there to prevent the man from going on and eventually hurting people's feelings any further... luckily, someone beat me to it and the place went silent.
Poor white people (and a family of Indians...) walked out of church pretty upset.
I just laughed for another half hour, then felt stupid wondering if this guy goes around making fun of my sins and stuff...
Poor dude.

3. My remaining grandfather is delusional now. He's going around making up some CRAZY stories about my mom (i.e. that she's cheating on my father so grandpa wants to kill her.... yeah...) and us kids ("They said they were coming to see me... they told me on the internet!" He has never been near a computer...). This has my dad pretty upset. He now wants to exorcise him... because according to Dad, "THIS IS THE WORK OF A DEMON!"

I don't know who's crazier...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Prey pray

I went to confessionals the other day.

I can almost swear (although that's frowned upon by the Catholics) I freaked that priest out.

He tapped my head and asked if he could pray for me.


As long as I don't start spewing green stuff out my mouth, it's all good.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Do something about it!

November was a whopper of a month...

I had some very, VERY dark days.
Usually, when I'm depressed, my creative side kicks in and I pull out some great art. I have my dark days to thank for some of my favorite drawings/stories.

Not this time.
I've never encountered darkness to this degree. I went nowhere near a pencil... and the most coming out of my mouth were monosyllabic words.
I played wayyy too many Facebook games... I didn't really eat (not like I've had a good relationship with food, anyway. Everyone's aware of our antagonistic relationship)... I cried every single day (no... seriously... I did)... and I ignored everyone... everyone.

BUT, after much thought...
I'm through with letting this mood go any further.
I lived and I learned... I stopped living (metaphorically, of course. I did not play the choking game to pass out for a couple of minutes... none of that)... now let's keep on with the living.
Plus... it's December... and while November has always been my favorite month, 2008 fucked it up... so now it's December's job to be fan-fucking-tastic (even with me NOT going to the bay area like was planned for 4 fucking months... but hey... I'm cool... it's cool... whatever-- thanks for the words Chase. While Mom and TravelinDin had been telling me the same thing... it was actually your input that just... pushed me to the decision. Sure... I cried... a lot... and it took about 3 days of me constantly telling myself DON'T DO IT!... even writing it all over my wall... but... I survived and DIDN'T buy the ticket).
I CAN'T end December on a sour note. I CAN'T let 2008 end like that.
AnoMALIE WILL laugh.
AnoMALIE WILL NOT let those crazy bad thoughts back into her head...

I'll live long...
and I'll prosper.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This or that

Forgive and forget? It's all good, babe, it hurt like super concentrated nitric acid running down my throat... but I love you and that's all that will ever matter.


Fuck that shit! Ignore, IGNORE, IGNORE! Have some self respect, you idiot!


I fear I'm giving these kids the impression that they can step all over me... (I mean, yeah, I'm generally a good person... but come on... there comes a point where this "niceness" must be considered idiocy... and I'm pretty sure I'm crossing that line)
I'm going to be a horrible mom (I can be such a heartless bitch with people... why not them? Note to self: DON'T EVER EVER EVER HAVE KIDS!!).

Thursday, November 13, 2008

... I'm suffocating.

That all too familiar feeling has a hold of me again.

... the one where you feel like your chest is getting compacted by two giant bulldozers.

I'm broken... and I'm gonna stay that way.

The person I least expected to break my heart, did...

my own godson.

I'm out [my trust in people? completely gone... for good].

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Fight! Fight! Fight! A chick and a... chick!

Sweet baby carrots...
Man... what a freaking weekend.

Why is it that girls love to incite such drama?
It sort of scares me how so many of them get a rise (I think that choice of words works best when referring to a dude, but whatever, I don't feel like jogging my brain for a better phrase) in seeing the offended party react. They get so excited... ape-style... when they see a girl react violently to shady news.

Of course... the latest person offering the spectacle was me... surprise, surprise.
Being that I've had ENOUGH of girls talking shit, I went off and spewed at the mouth last night (well, I had originally been told of the shit Friday night... then I got an early morning phone call Saturday, where I was told of all the shit-talking-- things are STILL being said about that damned October weekend when we celebrated my sister's 21st b'day-- this time, to an explicit extent), and I dealt with the backlash today.

I felt GREAT after letting it all out. It was the damn catharsis I was desperately seeking.

I wrote the heart-felt bulletin (yeah, of course, this business was handled via Myspace, since the bitches live in California, and driving all the way out there to slap them around for a couple of minutes isn't quite worth it. Plus, it serves as fair warning to anyone else thinking about talking shit... especially Las Vegas residents. Get me THAT pissed and you best believe I WILL hunt your ass down and we WILL have a nasty altercation) Saturday afternoon, then left for the rest of the day.
When I got back home, I had 10 replies to my bulletin. TEN.
Do you know how hard that is? I mean, I bet that happens on a daily basis to people who have 200+ friends... but I'm lucky if I get ONE reply.
Ten is definitely a scary number.
Out of those ten, ONE was a dude... a drunk one, actually.
The dude was being protective, of course, offering to beat anyone's ass for me because "You're a sister to me, man! A SISTER TO ME!"
The chicks?
"Whoa! What happened, man?! What's the bitch's name?!"
Then the text messages came... (Mooney, yours wasn't a surprise, you're like a sister to me, haha. So you being concerned for me was actually comforting)
and they all seemed... excited.


At least I now know who to invite to UFC fights...
and who'll be there to talk some sense into me if I ever get worked up at a bar (on the flip side, who I should TOTALLY avoid, unless I want to gain fame as AnoMALIE, bar-fighting extraordinaire).

Thursday, November 6, 2008

... ho hum...

I had planned to write something every day for the month of November... but I guess that idea went down the John.

I haven't been doing so good...
October was one mess of a month (way to kill my 2008, October... you outdid August, believe it or not... fucker).
My mental state is... man... I don't know how to put it.
No, I'm no longer walking around crying everywhere, wrapped in a blanket...
But I am cleaning like fucking crazy... I had this conversation with my sis just yesterday, after I cleaned out most of her room (there were things in there that hadn't been touched since 1999):

TravelinDin: Damn... you should have mental breakdowns more often...
Me: Fuck you, fool.
TravelinDin: Or shit... just make cleaning your career!

No one in the house is complaining about this cleaning phase of mine... not even yours truly over here. My only... downer about it is the fact that I find things I wrote/were written to me/ were collected by me during some of the worst times of my life... and going back to those days REALLY fucks me up.

But I suspect the rest of my family is also going through some sort of emotional issue...
Well... first off, we get that 3 for 1 deal thing from Embark... you know, satellite/phone (that pisses me the fuck off because it SUCKS!)/internet (that once again, SUCKS because we STILL don't get it because apparently, the fucking boonies where I'm located is fucking stupid or haunted or some shit... because it's quite fucking impossible to get FAST internet in these here stupidass parts of Las Vegas) last week...
then, a giant rift forms in the family due to SOME people voting McCain... and the rest voting Obama...
and now...
they went off and bought themselves a 65-inch plasma (LCD? I dunno... whatever, like I care) for the living room.


I have a feeling my family thinks they can single-handedly fix the US's failing economy...
Oh, sweet, sweet Republicans...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

No blackout for me come February '09!

It's official:
For the first time in my life, there is LEGAL satellite in my home!

(so many "firsts" for me this year... I didn't think this one would ever come)

Friday, October 24, 2008


Everything makes sense now!

Well... I'd rather be an alcoholic than a dumbass.

I saw

Last night I was invited to the world premier of Saw V.

Since I'm desperately seeking distractions in my life right now (I'm still walking around the house crying and whatnot... I got the whole "La Llorona" thing down pat for now... I just don't go around asking for the whereabouts of my children), I agreed to go.
I was supposed to go to my cousin's wife's baby shower... but I only dropped by for about ten minutes and left (TravelinDin and I are pretty pissed at that family right now).

Anyway... the premier was at Planet Hollywood and it took for-fucking-ever to get the damn movie started.
There was a redcarpet going on and everything... but you see, I didn't really give a shit since I don't really know the actors in the damn movie.

We were given free, unlimitied amounts of popcorn of various flavors... I ate 3 bags, to tell you the honest truth... because I don't turn down free shit... and i was interested in knowing what three of those flavors tasted like.

Anyway, once in the theater, we were introduced to 5 of the actors... then came Jigsaw himself.
While everyone was ecstatic to see him on stage... I couldn't stop thinking "Wow... I saw this man's penis in the last movie.... ewww... old man penis... " and I stopped eating my popcorn.

The movie itself was... a disappointment. You know in the last few minutes of the film where they start playing that little music as they start unraveling the truth behind the game and we're told who did what and why? Well... for all the previous movies, I've been able to unravel the truth before they even start playing that damn little music.
But this time, once I heard the song begin, I became irritated.

WTF?!? NO! WHAT?! No way! This sucked! Stop! Stop right now and fix this!

There were people outside getting our reactions. My reaction?
Each time I come out of these films... I have a new found appreciation for my body parts...
Any other comments on the movie?
[I walk away]

I'm glad I didn't cough up the 10 bucks to see this film, like I had originally planned. I would have been pissed (I mean, I was already pissed now, when they had given me unlimited, free Jalapeño-flavored popcorn and fountain drinks... AAAAAND I had met Jigsaw and thought about his penis).
And the gore in it? Eh... it was... kind of funny, to tell you the truth.

Saw creators.... your plot SUCKED.
(But the VIP treatment did rock...)

Monday, October 20, 2008

... wow...

Things weren't just crashing and burning...
things fucking EXPLODED this past weekend.


my god... I can't believe things went down like this...

I am definitely moving far, far away... Barcelona if all goes well.

I'm done.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Crashing and burning, dude.... CRASHING AND BURNING!
(there are 5 other people living in my house right now... I'm going crazy)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

It's all the Windex

I clean when upset.

I'm not talking "wash the dishes" type clean... I'm talking "scrub at the walls like there's no tomorrow... then scrub the floor... and hell, why don't you just polish the furniture while you're at it?" type clean.

I woke up this morning partially crippled... my right hand was in a fist that I couldn't undo.
I had stayed up until 4:30 in the morning cleaning away... my wing of the house now smells like Windex and Orange Glo.

BUT, my part of the house is magnificent, my room is FANTASTIC, and my bathroom is fucking immaculate (ahaha... pun). My soon to be houseguests better not have complaints... I'm doing it all for them... and kind of because I'm upset without my mom or news from Mexico... and I kind of don't want to go out and do the whole "Vegas" thing when these kids come. I love them and everything, but partying is so tiresome!

Talking about partying, on Thursday TravelinDin and I went to CrazyDrivingCousin's suite party.
Things were as fine as they could be (hostile, because TravelinDin and CDC are sort of feuding thanks to their birthdays being so close to each other), then these strange guys came. They weren't invited, but they knew one of the girls that was, so they made themselves at home.
Then they started pestering us (group of 4 girls, we were in one of the bedrooms chatting away about the drama going on in Mexico), and things were just growing increasingly uncomfortable... even the birthday girl was starting to freak out a bit (these guys looked like gang bangers... so, while we wanted them the fuck out ASAP, we had no idea how to do it without getting shot in the face by their Glock or some shit).
Finally, I realized we had to put an end to the situation once one of the guys mentioned:

"Yeah man, I got some E on the way... give some to the girls... get this party started with some pills! He also asked if I wanted some
yeyo, so I told him to bring that shit up too"

I noticed he looked in the room where I was with the 3 other girls... and I decided enough was enough.

"Yo, those fools are gonna bring some drugs up in your party... they're talking about ecstasy and cocaine over there..."
I told CDC and her brother.

Next thing I know, two other guys at the party come up to me and ask:
"Ey! Who are the ones who are talking about brining weed to the party?!"
"First off... it's E and cocaine... but anyway, it's the dude in the... brown hat."

Little did I know, two of the gang bangers were wearing brown hats... and guess who got confronted? The innocent one (well, as innocent as he could be).

It took a minute... and a couple of dirty looks from the gang bangers (but not gun fire!)... but they finally got kicked out of the party.

And of course... the rest of the night I felt like a hardcore narc...
AnoMALIE: the party killer.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Hips don't lie...

My grandmother broke her hip today.
She's getting surgery done tomorrow.

I can't stop being worried.
The siblings (as in, my aunts and uncles) have been calling back and forth, trying to find solutions.

It looks like Mom's definitely going down to Mexico (mode of transportation is still unkown), while I'm not sure about the rest.

My head is so not here right now...

Sunday, October 5, 2008


Some stupid fuck told my dad that I
"Burned out."

Dad now uses that terminology to describe me when referring to my current state (i.e. unemployed, not in school, just RELAXING, taking a breather to enjoy life because I EARNED IT after four years of learning bullshit my folks forced me into).

"Older Brother's at Notre Dame, graduates this summer, goes to Princeton in the fall. TravelinDin graduates in the summer... AnoMALIE... she burned out."

and my diploma's hanging on the dining room wall...

How fucking sad...

(as soon as I find out what motherfucker said that about me, I'm gouging his fucking eyes out)

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Planning parties SUCKS DICK!!!!

(Totally off subject: Man... was September fun this time around!! I was pretty sad to see it go)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sign of a bad date: Airborne shoes

(TravelinDin, my two friends Letty and Marie, and I sat at a nearby Denny's late last night talking about boys)

Letty: I swear, everything was going great; Marie's date walked into a different room, Marie followed... and I was know... in the living room with my guy, thinking "Alright! Finally! Some alone time!"
TravelinDin: Oh shit... little Ms. Marie getting her freak onnnn!
Letty: I know! Right? So here I am, really getting into it with my guy... next thing I know, here comes Marie, all "Yo, fool... we gotta go..." And I'm like "Wtf?! Go back in there! We haven't even felt each other up!" Marie looks at her imaginary watch on her left wrist and goes "Nah, fool, it's late... we GOTTA GO!" and snaps her fingers.
Marie: Come on man... I didn't want to be in there any longer! It HAD been an hour and a half. It wasn't my fault you guys were barely getting started...
Letty: I felt stupid practically running out of there! We had to leave early 'cause you got all scared and walked out on your date!
Marie: Letty, I was getting attacked in there! He threw my fucking shoes!
Letty: He was just that hot for you! Shit... I wouldda helped him out!

My friends make me laugh.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Starstruck mom

My mom met Kevin from the Backstreet Boys while she was in Cancun this past week.

She told me this when I picked her up at the airport at 8 PM... and I still can't stop laughing.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Why'd I have to come back?

It was...
I'm so...

I'm back...

Words can't express the way I feel.

Absolutely... I wish it would have never ended.
I'm holding on to this feeling for as long as I can.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bet's open 'til 11 AM

So they're here again... my pre-flight jitters.

It's not like I fear the plane going down or anything (no, I only get that very real fear in London/England. That place is windy/scary as fuck... in the air, of course. Once there, I'm completely smitten with the place), I just hate everything I have to deal with.
Some passengers make me want to rip my hair out (like the ones that keep alarming at checkpoint, but don't take anything off when they're about to cross again... so they alarm again),
a lot of airport employees make me want to cry (there are SO many rude people at airports... I hate how condescending they are, as if I'm supposed to be born KNOWING how their lame ass airport works. I don't give people shit for not knowing/understanding calculus... something that seems pretty damn logical to me... so I shouldn't get shit for thinking an airport is confusing as fuck),
the altitude makes my ears and tummy hurt (yeah, so what? I'm weak),
I have this dumb fear that my luggage will get lost (they lost my sister's when she got back from Spain in May, so I KNOW this can happen)...
eghh... so much crap.

I'm also pretty freaked over what I'm going to do once I'm in San Francisco. I'm supposed to stay with Pacemaker, one of the girls involved in August's Colossal Mexico Argument... and I'm SO scared I'm going to be getting less-than friendly treatment from her family (Pacemaker's dad is the uncle of the chick that got most offended in the argument)... like... terrified... to the point where I have my aunt's number speed-dialed on my phone in case I need to leave that house and head over to auntie's house who lives half an hour away.

We'll see what goes down.

My money's on "upset... she's gonna cry a little."

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Taming the mane

Mom: Wow... where are you going?
Me: No where...
Mom: ... then why'd you do your hair?
Me: Because I was bored...
Mom: Oh.

(ten minutes later, my sister walks in)

TravelinDin: Whoa, dude... where are we going?
Me: Umm... I don't know...
TravelinDin: Then why'd you do your hair?
Me: Because I was bored! Don't you ever get that urge?
TravelinDin: No... not at all.

(half an hour later, as we're getting ready to leave for a restaurant)

TravelinDin: You really going out like that?
Me: Yeah... I just have to pick my hair up.
TravelinDin: But I thought you did your hair like that because it was Mom's birthday...
Me: Who the hell said that?
TravelinDin: Mom.
Me: No.
TravelinDin: Oh... ok.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I never change up my hairstyle... I cause a ruckus in my home... and everyone starts thinking something is fucking wrong with me... (or that I'm doing it as a gift to my mom on her birthday... ?!?)

How sad...
(all I did was make my hair wavy and stick 4 bobby pins in it... the hoopla this brings on makes me not want to do this ever again)

Monday, September 8, 2008


Mom and Dad's "Love-fest" has reached a new level.

On... Thursday, Dad and Mom corralled me into the computer room and basically forced me to book them week-long Cancun reservations for the 17th-24th of this month.
My condition?
Let me go to San Francisco that week.

I thought they would just slap me around a little and call me crazy (kind of what I was doing/saying to them) and drop the whole subject...
but they obliged.


WTF, yo? What the hell is going on here?

I don't know whether to be happy about this turn of events...
straight up grossed out...
or just... scared.

What is up with my folks?
(at least I now have a week in San Francisco to figure it out and feel better about it, ha!)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Note to self No. 236465

When taking a shower, and it comes time to scrub your face, do not, I REPEAT: DO NOT inhale in any way while the soap suds are still on your face.

I nearly killed myself today.
It would have been an embarrassing way to go, too.
Imagine... I'm minding my own business, taking a shower after the most arduous (DANCE-FREE!) kickboxing class that left me drenched in sweat.
Everything was fine... up until the scrubbing of the face.
I love soap suds... so I usually have a ton of them on my... what are they called? It's not a loofah... but one of those... I call them "bath thingies" made of like... bundled up... plastic? I don't know.
Anyway, it came time to scrub my face... it had a bunch of soap... and for some reason... I had the desire to... I guess... sigh... and yes, my mouth was covered by the soap... and BAM! I started to choke.
I swallowed more soap than I imagined... 'cause I started hacking up soap suds like some rabid dog.
The taste sucked... my lungs hurt... and I was coughing so viciously that I almost passed out.
The only thing that kept me sane and coherent in that moment?

So... after about half an hour (yeah, I kid you not!), I went to my sister's room,

Don't worry, I'm alive!
Sister: Oh... I thought you were barfing...

then I continued to spit out soap for another hour.

Lesson learned.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Kicking and punching ain't dancing!

(what a way to make me angry!)

... and that's all I got to say about that.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

AIM, what?

Recently, I've started to neglect a shitload of things.

But don't blame me...

Blame Windows Live Messenger!!

(that shit is so fun! I never knew I liked talking so much. Plus... it connects me with MGH AND my godson... and we have FREE--imagine that-- conversations. I get to help Godson study biochem, histology, and embryology... while he gets to listen to me complain [and even cheer me up] about my friendship-challenged life ... it all works out)

God, I love the internet sometimes!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Now that's just gross!

Ever since we got back from Mexico... my parents have been very... lovey-dovey, to say the least.

I've seen some things recently that... ew... make me... unable to hold hands with people... that's how traumatized I am (you try and act like everything is fine after finding condoms all over your house/car/hotel room etc... gahhhh).

Last night, when I returned from sweating my ass off (I'm finally getting back into the swing of things at the gym... unlike the first time I went last week, when I had to leave earlier than expected, because I had to barf), Travelindin was laughing her little mock laugh and calling my name out.

Travelindin: Want to hear the most ridiculous news EVER?!
Me: Umm... what? ::lean back, like a dog that sees his owner holding a rolled-up newspaper:: What's going on?? (I've had it with "guessing" and getting "news." I've had enough of that shit! It freaks me out now each time someone has some sort of "news flash" for me. I'm now on the defensive when I hear "Hey, guess what!" or anything of that style)
Travelindin: Mom and Dad are going on a "romantic getaway" in September for a week!!! AHAHAHA!
Me: ... so... ??
Travelindin: Isn't that fucking ridiculous?! What are THEY going to do on a cruise?!
Me: (internally) Don't ask me that question... the answer grosses me the fuck out... I just barfed last week... no need in repeating that episode. (spoken) ... they're going to leave us alone for that week... correct?
Travelindin: Yeah...
Me: So... I can bring whoever I want to the house... or better yet... I can leave the house for that week and not be back until they are...
::Mom looks irritated with my realization::
Travelindin: HEY, JACKASS! You can't leave me alone!!!

Ah yes... finally... this whole "not going to school or getting a job" thing is paying off!
(I can't decide... party at my house... or me leaving to California for a week... decisions, decisions...)

... now I better not go off and hear "You're going to be a big sis again!!" in three months worth... fuck that shit.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


If I see one more "Back to School" commercial, I'm gonna cut somebody...

Ok... I only say that because....

I MISS SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I hate myself for admitting it)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Ripping out my heart

Here's attempt number 5 at writing this post... who knows if it'll stay up... because each time I start a post... I get worked up... leading to me deleting the post because it's just too damn mean.
Here we go:

My world sort of fell apart on Thursday morning.
It had started to crumble after that nasty fight I had with the chicks (my "friends" I so believed, but now that I think about it, real friends wouldn't do a tenth of the bad shit they did) back on the 6th of this month... although by the 1st of the month things were already taking a turn for the worst.

You see... two of the 4 girls involved in the argument started making a move for ALL of my friends/acquaintances... and they weren't shy about letting everyone know about our drama.
They made sure to make me uncomfortable in all situations: the park as I played volleyball with people from out of town (they'd make sure and talk loud enough so that the out-of-towners would hear the shit talking), my usual hang-out spot we so dearly call "The Alamo" (I didn't go for a week... and it was killing me to know these two chicks were usurping my place!), my own house (they're my neighbors... so I HAD to bump into them at some point).

My last couple of days there were purgatory, since I'd always think back to that fucking day and get heated... and upset at thinking that my "friends" had been poisoned by a bitch who couldn't get her facts straight. I was upset knowing they had believed her over me... I was upset knowing things will never be the same between us again.

HOWEVER, as much as this fight hurt me, I DIDN'T go around telling people about it. People would approach me and ask... and while it was tempting to be vindictive and turn people against THEM, I never did. I only told one person about the fight, and that was my godson, only because he knew something was up... and he's probably the only other person I trust in this world... but I never told him to stop talking/start hating anyone (unlike what these girls were doing).

So, I left it at that... as heart-broken as it made me ("echame a mi la culpa de lo que paso..." I'm a vindictive bitch when I want to... but this problem hurt me too much soul-wise for me to actually get vicious. It was too much of a low blow, and while I would have my bursts of rage, I'd stay home and cool off, rather than go to these girls homes to personally kick each one of their dumb asses). I lived the rest of my "vacation" playing Guitar Hero, crying, counting the days until it was time to come home, and missing my godson like crazy (he was in the city, studying by now, remember? He was no longer in Hometown, wasting away like the rest of the kids his age).

On to what made me get worse and led to my Thursday melt-down:

I became unbelievably attached to my 19-year-old friend, who I'll now refer to as My Guitar Hero, MGH.
There's always been a "thing" between us... and it wasn't until this year that we sort of acted on it (I was in need of a friend/game partner... he was heart-broken/in need of female attention... it was summer time... shit happens, right?).
We became attached at the hip... and there was this crazy level of comfort between us, as well as the coolest vibe I've ever felt with a guy. I mean... it was... love, but not the "I want to marry you!! Let's have babies together!" love... it was just... "God, where the fuck have you been all my life? Can you believe we click like this? I'll fucking hurt anyone that tries to ruin this" type love.
He had been in Hometown for about two wonderful weeks in mid-July, left for a week and a half to another part of Mexico, then came back the day before we left for Vegas.
Before he left for that week and a half, we talked about not wanting to part and all that shit ("Don't leave me MGH!! It's gonna suck without you!"--and this was before I even had a hint of the shit that was to come for me later on that week-- "Who else is going to gold-star with me?!" etc). That's when he asked, very timidly btw, if he could come with me to Vegas... which garnered this response:

Oh my God! I fucking love you, MGH!!! ::bear-hug around his waist as he was dangling from a tree (so we like to play around on trees, we ARE Mexican, after all):: Of course you can!!

So I was excited when he left, because I knew he'd be coming to Vegas with me when it was time to leave.
I was even more ecstatic about his return after all the girl drama passed (drama he never heard about, at least not from me).

The trip came and went... it was uncomfortable as fuck because we were sort of crammed in the truck... but still, I made room for him to sleep on my lap, I'd give him hour-long back massages, once in Vegas, he slept in my room--the biggest aside from my folks' room, we showed him around cost-free...etc. he was basically treated like a king (because we wanted to treat him like that and had no problem doing so).
We took him back to San Francisco last Friday, the 15th, and we stayed with him until Monday (the only day I didn't see him was Saturday, because I was at that damn wedding with the stalker).
Everything was fine and dandy up until Sunday night... around the time we were getting ready to go to sleep. He started acting weird... looked sad... stopped talking... and didn't even get up to say goodbye in the morning.

All right... I don't get it, but whatever... I guess you don't like good-byes or something...

However, come Monday night, he called me to see if we had gotten home safe. We then proceeded to stay connected with each other up until Wednesday night... then all of a sudden, come Thursday morning... nothing.
I saw he had removed me from his contacts (except Myspace, because he doesn't use that often), wouldn't answer my e-mails, texts, anything.
Then I noticed that I wasn't the only one he removed. He removed my entire family and wouldn't talk to them.
I tried contacting MGH's brother (the one who was 19 last summer and would sing to me when we'd be alone) and asking what the deal was... but no answer. He wouldn't answer my sister's texts and e-mails either.
This lasted all Thursday... this attempt at seeing what the hell was going on.
Normally, I wouldn't panic THIS bad, however, I was freaking out because I remembered something terrifying:

In Mexico, when I was still cool with the batch of girls, we'd go together to the internet cafe. I'd always use the same computer because 1. It was my favorite, 2. It had all my favorites saved, and 3. It was pretty secluded from all the other ones.
One day, the 16-year-old of the group, beat me to my computer, so I was forced to use another one. This one was open to the world... meaning, I had no privacy walls... and people making line to pay would be able to see my screen.
This day, I had seen I had messages on blogger... so I went for it... and that's when it happened: the girls saw my blog.
The day had been pretty rough to begin with... since that same day they had looked at my Myspace page... and proceeded to make fun of one of my friends
(to which I responded with really obscene words... offending them all... but I didn't care because you don't fuck with my real friends like that... I prefer for everyone to just... get along... and if any one of them makes fun of another, I'll be quick to step in and tell them to shut the fuck up... unless the arguing parties are siblings). Once they saw I had a blog, they proceeded to knock it... but I thought nothing else of it... just that they were butt-hurt over me offending them earlier, and now they wanted to make fun of me to feel better.
Well... from there, I noticed they became a little more interested in my Guitar Hero band name
(I'm stupid enough to have "AnoMALIE" as the name... how retarded, I know), and asked me to explain the name to them.
I did as they asked... and thought nothing of it.

Well, I came to Vegas, and noticed that someone in Durango had been checking out my blog.
Once again, I didn't panic, I just thought "Fuck, AnoMALIE, why don't you ever erase the history off computers?? Now people in Mexico will be able to read your blog... and notice all your shit-talking..."

With the sudden cut-off from MGH, all kinds of things started running through my head.

Fuuuuckkk.... I've said some things about MGH on my blog... especially last year.... like... what his dad was known for... shit... fuck... his cousin saw me checking my blog... fuck! Oh no... shit... I offended him!! His family hates me now... and I can't blame them.... me and my damn big mouth! Fuckkkk! I ruined a good thing! My family! AHHHH! He's going to hate me... I lost him...

Sure, I thought maybe MGH had heard about the August 6th War of Words... and since his name had been smeared in the fight, I thought maybe he was mad... but I felt something bigger than that must have happened... and the thought of him finding out what I know about his dad was scaring me... terribly... because that shit you just don't talk about to anyone... especially when the man's own children don't know what's up. That shit has the potential to rip families apart.

When I saw Friday was turning into the same deal (no, I wasn't continuously texting and calling... I was playing the most anguishing waiting game, actually... praying my worst fear wasn't coming true), in the afternoon, I resorted to texting their cousin (who lives a couple of minutes away from them), one of the girls involved in the August 6th war of words (she's also first cousins with the main fire starter of it all, Enemy, the one that was going around bad-mouthing me to everyone), the same chick who learned about my blog and asked about my name.
She wouldn't answer my texts, so I started getting hostile on her.
She answered after my second serious text (none of this smiley face shit or text speak).
Upon calling her... she said she had no idea what was going on... she said she had never mentioned anything to MGH, but she never claimed her cousin, Enemy, as being innocent.
Since Enemy's Cousin (I guess that's what I'll call her, no, let's call her Pacemaker, like a song her name's involved in), Pacemaker, lives closer to MGH and his family, she did the calling and figuring out what was going on.
Eventually, Pacemaker got me in touch with MGH (the following night).
As all this was happening, I decided to close my blog... because it would only be incriminating ("Yes... I talk about you... and your dad... and your money... but I really do love you!!" How the fuck would that work?).

Upon talking to MGH, he let me in on why everything had happened (reasons being far more tear-inducing than I thought. Not scary at all... at least, not to me... to him, maybe). He calmed me down... we got back on good terms, and he's once again My Guitar Hero.

Pacemaker swore never to make mention of this blog ever again... as I promised never to write bad things about HER (hell no, I dind't agree to not talking bad about Enemy... I said I wouldn't mention her at all... ever again... in writing or in person). I hope she holds up to her agreement... 'cause I know I will.

AAAAND, that, my friends... is why I had a massive meltdown this past week... why I ALMOST deleted this blog completely... and why I haven't really talked much on here anymore (and probably never will talk too much... man...).

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Stay tuned...

I promise I'll tell what's up once I quit being this heated.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Maldito rollo!

This year, I had the *bright* idea of "taking it old school" when it came to pictures.

While I do love old school film and all that shit... the rolls of undeveloped film slap me to reality.


God... I only have about 10 pictures in my possession right now, why? Because I thought it would be better if my "friend" could just send hers to me... I mean, she did get more pictures of yours truly with her digital camera because she'd catch me off-guard.


I no longer talk to her, she died (metaphorically speaking... I'm sure she's giving someone else a headache/near heart attack by now). She's the one I had the disgusting drama with a couple weeks back... so... those pictures, I'm sure, are deleted by now (a couple of hours after the argument/fight, I nearly punched myself once I realized "Fuck, this girl has all the pictures I want as memories of this summer... fuck! fuck! fuck!").
There are a few here and there that I can get off other people's Myspace's and Facebooks... but... they'll be of poor quality.

It's like summer of '08 never happened... only much worse.

I'm SUCH an idiot.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Weekend that wouldn't end.

More observations (hey, I feel no need to write actual posts... you know... with grammar and all that shit... for now. I'm tired and still cranky... trying to solve a bunch of fucking stupid problems I SHOULDN'T be having at this age) made Friday through Monday.

1. If ever approached by a guy holding a camera who asks to take a picture, DON'T feel guilty about saying NO.
(On Saturday, while at the wedding, I noticed this short guy-- not bad looking or anything... just not my style, since I feel no sense of attraction for a dude who looks like a 5 foot 4 rehabbed "cholo"-- kept taking pictures of me. At first I was like "Whatever... I'm sort of in the way... what the fuck ever... just look away." After the FIFTH time he came to my table to say "Let me take a picture of you guys" to my folks, I started getting uncomfortable-- I went as far as pushing my chair back to make sure he was taking a picture of ONLY my parents... to which he stepped back and STILL got a picture of me... stalker. Things only got worse once I found out the guy was the groom's younger brother--and by younger, I mean "he was probably 35..."-- and so, I was sort of forced to be nice to him. At the end of the night, he came up to us AGAIN, then asked me and my sis if he could get a picture [this was after he spent the entire day getting pictures of me from all angles... seriously... like... no joke]. While I felt urged to grab his camera, smash it on the floor, and stomp on it repeatedly as I screamed "STOP IT! ENOUGH, ALREADY! I'm not a celebrity!!" I smiled, leaned in to my sister and said "Sure..." God... I'm too nice)

(I cried from 3 in the morning Saturday, until 8:30 AM of the same day. Yes, I was hormonal... and missing My Guitar Hero... but I was furious at the thought that my parents have POOR planning skills... and by "poor" I mean "SHIT")

3. I'm going to be a terrible cougar....
(umm... who would have guessed it... I still have a thing for dudes that are at least 2 years my juniors... how gross... but I can't help it!! We have so much in common!... and he has purdy lips... and eyes... and eyebrows... and hands... and... blah blah blah)

4. Bands are ruined when one member falls for the other...
(we were gold-starring on expert and everything... Damn it, AnoMALIE, always ruining a good thing!)

5. Sonoma Valley is expensive... and ugly... in the summer.
(so dead... everything was dead)

6. Egg rolls, while tasty, make a car smell horrendously after 5 hours... after 9, it's straight up the smell of death.
(we were too cheap/nice? to throw away the platter of egg rolls MGH's mom made for us)

7. Never, never, never, never, never EVER go on two long road trips with only one day of "rest" in between.
(First, we do the whole Mexico-to-Vegas 21 hour long road trip on Wednesday. Then Thusrday morning we start doing the whole "Vegas Tour" for MGH up until 1 in the morning. Then, Friday afternoon, we head out for the 10 hour ride up to Sonoma Valley.... then Saturday we party it up at a wedding... then Sunday morning we head to San Francisco... once there... we talk it up with relatives we haven't seen in 7 years... go to bed at 2:30 in the morning, get up the next day, drive down to Bakersfield... talk to more relatives for two hours... then back to Vegas. Fuck that... and notice how I don't mention "shower" anywhere on that list. SICK.)

I'm tired... and sad... and a little angry [just a little].

Friday, August 15, 2008

sleep? who needs that?!

I kind of don't know what the hell I'm doing...
I'm tired... but somehow I agreed to the 12 hours car ride to northern California...
I haven't had decent sleep since... shit... the first of August.
August really fucking sucked for me (and there's till 15 more days of it left... I think... I don't know math right now).
This fucking heat is pissing me off.
My bitch... no... I won't even take the time to talk about the two bitches I hate with a fucking passion... although one of them is dead to me, so technically, I should just say "one" when referring to that shit.

and last... but not least:
My 19 year old friend is the fucking coolest guy ever! (yeah, the fact that he throws little flirtatious comments my way sways that statement somewhat... ok... a lot. I'm sad to see him go... living with him these past few days has been pretty amazing)

Thursday, August 14, 2008


I'm back... finally.
I think yesterday would have been more brutal had we not brought along my 19-year-old friend... he kept things interesting with his astonishment with the scenery, and eventual grumpiness over the never-ending trip... particularly, the seemingly never-ending desert between Wickenberg and Hoover Dam.

Anyway, saying goodbye to everyone who was still in Mexico wasn't hard at all. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't cry with anyone.
I was completely ready to leave 8 hours before actually getting in the truck.

I'll write more eventually... but I'm sick as fuck right now... so... until later.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Dude... shit went DOWN on Wednesday.

I'd go off and tell you all about it... but it still makes me furious to think about it.
All I'm going to say is this:
1. Once a trifling bitch, always a trifling bitch.
2. NO ONE can confront me and come out of it a winner.
3. Holding back on a cussing tirade is difficult shit, but I managed to do it.
4. I now know why I have more male friends.

I'm eager to come home to my REAL friends.
I'm 23... why the fuck am I still dealing with He-said-she-said bullshit?

p.s. the other day there was a bar fight in town... and guess what? My name came up... then they started fighting... and a couple of hours later, I got a serenade... how fucking ridiculous is that shit?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Girl Drama... so damn stupid.

Gah! Damn interent cafe.
Each time I type some shit up and save it to my flash drive, I forget to bring it with me... so here I sit, listening to the girls talk their smack about my tiny town and all the weddings that went down...
And I forget it all.

It doesn't help that currently, I'm in somewhat of a disagreement with my "friends" because they (it's 4 of them) are suddenly buttbuddies after hanging out AnoMALIE-less for ONE night. They go about whispering and shit... in my presence, which only helps in pissing me off (am I being unreasonable here? Don't YOU get irritated when 4 people in your group of 6 friends is whispering amongst themselves without adding you? Fuck that shit. That's why I'm friends with mostly all guys. I'll put up with their perverted talk any day over this bullshit secretive crap. Plus, the last time we all came to the internet cafe, they started making fun of one of my REAL best friends... and that just infuriated me to the point where I started verbally assaulting all of them... infront of other patrons. We haven't been right since then, and frankly I don't give a fuck, because no one makes fun of my friend, especially a friend who's a better human 50X's over than they are).

SO... let's see what I can remember about my life and what went down before this girl drama of mine began:

The 5 weddings have come and gone. Originally, I was excited and willing to go to everything (church, dinner, then dance) but after the first wedding, I became sick as a dog thanks to the food, so I became scared and opted against the dinner for the rest of the weddings.
I also only went to the dance part of all the weddigns because church is too damn long, there's no air conditioning, and I only brought 3 dresses... so I had to choose wisely.
Anyway... the weddings were cool, I suppose, just that the whole competitive nature of a couple of brides really put a damper on the whole thing.
One of the weddings did have a badass band... a very popular band... and while that was nice, the weather wasn't cooperating, and the night turned out to be a waste since a terrible thunderstorm and mud got in the picture. The wedding was outdoors, at the bride's brother's "Rancho" (where "charros" mistreat bulls in the name of "sport), so all the guests got mud everywhere, as if we were pigs in their sty (I misspelled that, didn't I?)... plus, a ton of people came from all over the state to witness this "free" concert.
Oh yeah, and at the second wedding, I acquired a very nasty cut on my right leg. I mean, I was bleeding and everything at this "classy" event... I looked like such a hick... as if I had come in riding a horse or something.

Ok... another thing is... oh, ok, another thing is that I have a hard time remembering this past week because I spent most of it drunk/buzzed. Normally, I wouldn't participate in drinking games. I'll be cool with taking a shot or two, but beer has never been a thing I like.
Well, I found out all I really need is a couple of cute boys to egg me on, and I'll become a Flip Cup master (beer pong, never. I suck TERRIBLY at the game... but Flip Cup I can handle with anything... Johnny Walker... Absolut, ANY tequila... you name it).
I blame peer pressure... and a slight crush... on my drunken debauchery... and that's all I'll say about that.

Umm... we also had a couple fo bonfires. They were fun... good times with the female friends up untilt he last bonfire, where a couple of cute, smart guys form a different town came and hung out with us. That just turned all the chicks against each other, in search of a boyfriend or something (not my case, since my guy had left by then).
But if you get over the guy problem, everything was fun... and I very much enjoyed those events.

My godson also left for college... I think today's his first day. That shit hell of bummed me out... since I feel like his mom (yeah, I'm only 5 years his senior, but I love the kid). I didn't get to hang out with him much, however, since I spent the majority of last week trying to put sense in his head. What sense? You see, he has a crush on a girl... and while that's perfectly fine, what is NOT fine is that she's his 3rd cousin. Some people might not see that as disturbing... but I sure as hell do. With so many girls in this world... why the fuck do you date a cousin? A cousin you've always treated like a cousin up until this year? Yeah, she's a cutie... but... there's a blood relation there... ughh..

Let's get off that subject, it bothers me.

Let's talk about my departure for the States.
We had planned to leave on the 16th or 17 of this month... but seeing how shitty things are getting, we might just leave on the 10th or 11th. We're not sure since we might take my 19 year old friend. He wants to come along... and we're down to take him, we're just not sure if he'll be back (he left with my godson to Durango's capitol on Thursday) on time.

Sooooooooo... that's what I can remember for now... and I think I'll leave it at that, since I'm getting a little too worked up and I doubt anyone wants to read about this shit.

Monday, July 28, 2008

6 hours of sleep over a 72 hour period

No sleep makes AnoMALIE a very fucking cranky, sad girl...

She should also remember to quit listening to sad music... because that shit doesn't help anyone.

(Saturday's wedding was fucking off the hook... I hate admitting that, too)

Saturday, July 26, 2008


Random thoughts I get thanks to the shit I've experienced so far:

1. If you're going to be sleeping in the same room as I am, PLEASE DON'T hover over me, stand at the foot of my bed (or the side) and stare at me as I sleep. That shit is NOT cool, I wake up alarmed, and I scream... okay?
(I say this because the night of the wedding, I came home at 5 in the morning, tried going to sleep at 6, then woke up scared shitless thanks to my grandma standing too close to my bed, staring into my face. I screamed "WOW!" and clinged to the wall like a cat. This isn't the first time people do this to me... they have a knack for it)

2. Nineteen year old boys, while cute and all that shit (like the fact that it's flattering to know they are crushing on you and whatnot), are fucking immature... don't forget that.
(Last night I was so fucking frustrated... I wanted to strangle the kid. Yeah, he's cool when he wants to be... but fuck me if I don't want to choke a bitch when he gets all irritating like yesterday)

3. Too much i-pod makes AnoMALIE a sad, sad girl.
(Minnow, your little collection of music has made me so damn bummed out!)

4. I need my vitamins, I always forget shit... like the rest of this post.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Sorry, no time

What a week.

I.. well, I sort of don't know where to start... but here's a lame attempt (with tons of spelling errors, cause dude, I've been away from the English language for a while).

1. The toll of assassinated people down here went past 10... for the week.
(It was so fucking violent. There were some accidents... like this one boy who accidentally shot his mom and killed her... and then there were the fucking terrifying... like this one vengeance killing. They shot 3 family members, right? Only one of them died, so the other two were being transported by the ambulance to the nearest hospital [about 30 minutes away]. Well, these same killers stopped the ambulance, pulled the driver out saying "This isn't with you" then opened fire on the ambulance... with AK47's and just... fulminated it with bullets [is fulminate a word? it is in Mexico!]. Then there was this other one, at a Palenque [cockfights where they have singers later on in the night], where some dudes just opened fire on the crowd, killing 4, including a drug boss... then the cartel got angry and killed some of those hitmen. I mean... it's BAD right now... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing over here at the interent cafe... exposing my life like this. Damn blogger!)

2. One of my good friends got a little too fucked up... then her dad came over and accused us of being bad influences.
(Bull-fucking-shit. Ok, this girl, who's about 5 feet tall claims not to be a lightweight. So, she downed a half-bottle of tequila... and within 30 minutes, she was blacking out and freaking us all out... then came the worst part...)

3. We upset my 19-year-old friend (you know, the one that was 18 last year... that I sort of had a crush on?)
(Ok, so he lives in the biggest house in town, right?-- his dad was that huge drug lord back in the day who was killed 6 years ago-- and he's home alone, so he wanted to 1. Play guitar hero with me [we make the best Expert team possible... gold starring shit and whatnot, I mean, he's my idol now] 2. Drink with the ladies. Everything was going great up until my short friend started blacking out... and we took her upstairs to the bedrooms to fix her up. Well, my other friend had the bright idea of taking ShortFriend to 19YOF's mom's bedroom since it had a bathroom. Of course, 19YOF wasn't around at the time to protest. He just came up to the room and freaked. "DON'T YOU KNOW A FATHER'S ROOM IS SACRED?!" And then we all felt bad. I only felt bad because I knew how upset he must have been, since I've always known how special his mom is about that room... especially now, after her husband, the love of her life, died. What was worse, the ShortFriend was all fucked up, her makeup smeared and vomit on her lips, went and threw herself on 19YOF's mom's bed... that had a white, silk comforter... She vomitted all over the black marble floor... and... sweet God... it was BAD. Now 19YOF doesn't let us in the house unless it's just me, him, my sis, and his cousin. Poor kid...)

4. I was sick as a dog...
(no need for further explanation here... just that I was sick, vomitting all over the place)

5. The weddings are upon us.
(They start today... fun)

Friday, July 18, 2008

my eyes

Yesterday sucked.
I was feeling like shit, but I was still forced to stay in a different town for 4 hours.
By the 3rd hour, I was almost passing out (you see, I had these horrible cramps, accompanied by the desire to vomit). I wouldn't tell them to please leave (the people who had given me the ride).
I did, however, get a little rude by not talking or making eye-contact. My sister did the same thing.
Well, one of the times, as we were silent, one of the ladies in the room said
"Wow, you girls have very pretty eyes!!"
And you know what her sister said after that?
"Yeah, but it's the only nice thing about them."


that kind of shit only happens to me.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

She has a BOYfriend now

I have a boyfriend.

He's smart (sort of).
He likes animals (not that way).
His mom's super cool (we get along like family members).
He's going to be a vet (so he claims)
He can't do anything without me (seriously... he asks me what I'm going to do before he does anything).
He caught a salamander for me and then gave it to me in a bottle (what the fuck do you feed a salamander? I didn't know, so as much as I liked Sam the salamander, I let that bitch out as soon as the "boyfriend" left back to the states yesterday)...
He's 8 years old.

I wasn't aware I was dating him... but the other day I had to spin him in this one playground game (only in Mexico, where they have dangerous playground games where the main object is to get them dizzy as fuck). You see, it's this orb thingy made of metal, where kids get in and make it spin.
Since my boyfriend is 8 and weak as hell, he can't spin people very well.
He was calling me over to spin him around, and that's when I caught him calling me his "girlfriend" to the kids around him.

Girlfriend?! Hold your horses! That's why you like it when I give you piggy back rides? NOOOOO!

So... I had a mild freakout, got over it... and continued playing with him, his little sister, and older brother.

I did refrain from giving him any more piggy back rides, however.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Cool vs. Not cool

Playing volleyball as you look at terrifying dark clouds approach at an alarming speed.
Running as fast as freaking possible all the way home... trying to beat the rain you can hear nearby pounding the floor.
Not cool:
Getting caught by the rain that feels like someone just turned on a firehose aimed directly at your head.
Most un-cool:
Having some asshole drop off 5 little puppies in the front yard of the house next to you... then walking by a little later to see some truck already ran over one... two of them are missing... and the other two are huddled near their dead sibling....


Friday, July 4, 2008


How do you further trouble/confuse/traumatize a growing 15 year old boy?
Have his older female cousin give him a lingering kiss on the neck...

I swear, it was an accident. I was going to do the whole "greet with a kiss" thing we do, and next thing you know, his mom pulled my body one way, and I looked away as I kissed my little cousin.
It was too late when I realized what I was doing.
He stood there like "Ummm... ?"
As I stood there like "Fuck... I'm sorry... I was... your mom... MAN! Why'd you do that?"

Awesome times down here.


Monday, June 23, 2008


I've been sitting at home since last Monday here in Mexico.
I don't think it's as dangerous as some people claim, but you know, I'd rather not test the waters.

I'm getting pretty fucking awesome at guitar here while down here.

What a boring summer this will be.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


All right... I was a little frustrated last night.
I thought about deleting the post, but eh, whatever. I get frustrated and sentimental sometimes... it's ok if people see that once in a while... I'm not a robot.

I did wake up with fucked up, puffy eyes... and I did keep crying (last night there were even times when I'd be dry-heaving. I was just so angry, upset, humiliated, depressed, fed up... you name it) up until a couple of minutes ago when my mom called.
I try not to cry around her because she's pretty bad when it comes to that sort of thing. Instead of comforting me and whatnot, she'll get pissed and scream at me things like "And why are you crying?! You don't cry over that type of shit! Now, suck it up and act normal!!"
Yeah... she's not the gentlest mom out there. She has always been more of a "dude" when it comes to parenting.

And talking about dudes... I hope they have a happy Father's Day.

How do I put this nicely?




I'm not mad.
I'm not upset.
I'm just... disappointed.

Signs the day wasn't going according to plan?
1) I (along with 3 other bridesmaids that were in the same car) was the last girl to get to church.
2) I broke a sweat jogging to the back of the line of 25 couples, yes, 25!
3) I was the tallest girl there.
4) I was the only girl there with a baggy dress...
5) Walking down the aisle, close to the front of the church, I tripped... BIG time (the heel of my shoe got stuck on the back of my dress, since the dress was still too long)... if it weren't for my partner (I'll get to that later) gripping on to me with a death grip, I would have fallen flat on my ass (the crowd did gasp, though. I'm such a thrill seeker!).
6) Along with almost tripping, I simultaneously almost flashed the congregation... including the priest, who was not too happy with me.
7) Half-way through mass, I realized my skirt was stuck... well... in there... yes... I had... I was... they saw... my God...
8) I spent the rest of mass picking my crack each time I stood up... that, and I'd also tug my top up... because I'm paranoid like that.
9) My male arch-enemy was paired-up directly ahead of me. He'd constantly turn around to stare (he sort of has always had a thing for me. I on the other hand, never have. I didn't hold anything against him, though, until one day, I heard him say something very derogatory about me. I was 14, had a fragile self-image... and this made me cry for months. Needless to say, I have been plotting revenge against him ever since)... and I'd take the time to glare right back... with my best scowl... with the excuse that the sun was in my eyes... yes, even once we were inside the Circus-Circus hotel.
10) There were more cowboy hats in the crowd than at the PBR National Finals Rodeo.
11) My partner left me for a good three minutes during one of the dances... I just stood there like a dickhead looking for him....
12) They served HALF A CHICKEN on each plate. HALF A CHICKEN!! WTF? I almost fought a little girl for her plate of chicken fingers. (This is not my friend's fault, though. It's her stupid husband and father-in-law. They ordered incorrectly. I told her later on that had that been my case, I would have called him a fucking idiot, then called the wedding off. Fuck that shit--yeah, I know, and I wonder why I'm still single)
13) They ran out of cake!!
14) They never filled the glasses! I was so thirsty, I could have drank my own piss (so instead, I just left)

and the top sign this day was CRAP:
15) As I'm dancing the "Dollar dance" with the groom, the only thing he keeps saying is:
"I'm SO SORRY! He's just... so fucking retarded. No, I swear, he's a retard... I'M SO SORRY! He's just retarded. I had to put him in... even though he's retarded. Please don't feel bad!"


Seriously, my partner was mentally handicapped... and not the nice, "Aww... well, I still want to help you out!" type, but the crazy, "Oh my God, why are you wishing death upon your own cousin?" scary type.

Ok... now I can go to bed and fucking cry my eyes out (why do they always do that to me? ::ok, I'm crying now. God, I didn't know I felt so strongly about this:: I'm the one who gets the dude NOBODY wants. I'm the fucking giant who almost burst into flames each time she sees a fucking midget half my age with a guy perfect in stature and build for me. WHY?! Do I appear to be that super nice that I wouldn't say shit? Well, yeah, you're right, I don't. I suck it up and smile and try to make my partner feel like less of an outcast... wouldn't anybody else?! Why must I always be the one put in that predicament? That is NOT cool. Not cool at all, but then again, I think maybe that happens so often because I'm the girl nobody wants. I'm the ugly one amongst the pretty, petite girls... who usually gets asked because it'd be considered mean not to... because they ask for my sister since she's a pretty girl--although there has been one, a first cousin actually, who asked for both my siblings and left me out because I wasn't "hot enough." I heard that out of his own mouth. He then went about telling everyone I had said I didn't want to be in the wedding... which was pure bullshit. Ok, I'll stop talking now, I hate sharing this type of shit here).
I gotta be ready for when those damn pictures get posted all over the fucking internet, so I can appear cool and calm about the whole thing.

You guys have no idea how badly I wanted to strangle myself with my shawl. That shit sucked.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The hourglass

My brother was here for only two days before he had to leave for Princeton this morning.

We didn't have much time to bond... just enough time to get attached and sad over the thought that we weren't going to see each other for the next two months.

As he was packing his bags last night, I went over to his room to keep him company (he does this thing... were you know he's sad and wanting to bond... but he doesn't straight up say "Hey, I'm sad about leaving you guys! I'm going to miss you! I want to spend time with you!" He does something like... walk in and out of TravelinDin's room-- where I hang out until I have to go to my own bed to sleep-- then bites our arm... or pulls our leg... or punches our back... or bites our head... or flicks our ear... you get the picture. He's a primitive young fellow. We'll then get irritated and slap him back, or say something like "What the fuck is your problem!?" But after about the seventh time he does this-- or when he starts going into the room to say stuff like "Remember the time we were playing kickball and..." aka when he starts reminiscing, I get the hint and spend time with him. Poor kid never had a brother to rough-house with, I might as well make him feel a little less lonely).
We were lsitening to South Park... because neither of us were watching it--he was packing, I was reading Glamour.
We'd comment on how much I love Butters, and how much he hates him because he's "a retard." Once that was over, I started reading, out-loud, things from the magazine.

Me: Check this: Guys: What's your most surprising turn-on? "I know this sounds weird, but if she loves watching Family Guy, I'm ready to go 24/7."
Bro: LAME!
Me: "Cute feet..." Ewwwww. I hate feet. They're so gross.
::Brother rolls eyes::
Me: "Silver hoop earrings. I'm from Boston, and the hot girls there always wear them. They're synonymous with sexy."... Really? That just says "Hood Rat" to me.
Bro: Hater...
Me: You're telling me hood rats don't rock big hoop earrings? You're telling me that's not the first thing you think of when I say "Hoop earrings?"

Then there was this exchange a little later:

Me: That's BULLSHIT!
Bro: What?
Me: Glamour polled nearly 600 women to reveal what type of body shape they had.
Bro: What's wrong with that?
Me: Ok... 10% said they were an apple... 18% said they were up and down, 24% said they were a pear... and 48% said they were an hourglass!!! Almost half of the people! Bull-fucking-shit!
Bro: Relax... apple...
Me: I AM NOT AN APPLE! I'd fit in American Eagle jeans if I were an apple... with those narrow-ass hips.
Bro: Ok... pear.
Me: I'm NOT flat-chested, damn it!
Bro: What are you?
Me: I'm a... that's besides the point.

Two minutes later, he kicked me out of his room with the excuse that he was sleepy.

I'm starting to see why he prefers to punch and bite us...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Ladies and gentlemen.... she has done it.

My cousin finally got her 5th ugly tattoo. ...
Now... I remember what was said the last time she got a stupid tattoo...
and I'm a girl of my word.
I'm pissed she took my spot though (ok, secret's out. Besides the tattoo I'll get on my left wrist, I'll also be getting one on the right side of my ribcage)... but whatever.... man... I'll get it done.

I'm just torn between calling her Popeye or Linnaeus.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Old People Make Me Laugh

I can always depend on someone to cheer me up in the most random way:

(Phone rings)
Me: Hello?
Old Man: Is *Dad* there?
(he's pretty much screaming at me... but not maliciously)

Me: No... he's not home.
Old Man: It's Fred, his cousin... I was just calling to see if he got home all right.
(Still Screaming)

Me: Oh! He got home last night around 9.
Fred: Oh, ok! I was, you know, just making sure he didn't get in a car wreck or died... just worried since he didn't call or anything.... WHO AM I TALKING TO?!
(He seemed to be a little freaked out by now)

Fred: Nuñez?!... Who?
Me: No... AnoMALIE.
Fred: ...
Me: His daughter, AnoMALIE.
Fred: Oh! Gina, his daughter! Ok Gina, just tell your Dad I called.

I love it when they can't get my name right... especially when they're Mexican... and we share the same blood.

Why am I bummed?
1) I finally got the bridesmaid dress I'm wearing this weekend... it's ugly as fuck... and there's no time to fix it. I'm going to look like a stupid idiot in it.
2) Yesterday, I fell in love, and purchased, the cruelest pair of shoes to wear with that stupid ugly dress. All I have to say is: CARLOS SANTANA! Stick to your music! As
beautiful as your shoes may be... they HURT! Why must your color schemes be so magnificent?! I'm spending the rest of the week doing nothing but walking in the damn heels... I've already started to cry.
3) Did I mention the dress is a corseted "tube" top? I'm going to have to wear a strapless bra... and... those things are the fucking stupidest, most useless thing created on the face of the universe... well, at least for anyone above a C cup.
4) Oh yeah... and the corset fits me baggy. Actually, the entire fucking stupid dress fits me baggy. It's just... ill-fitting all-together... but that's what you get when the dumb whore responsible for making your dress measures you ONCE in January, doesn't contact you EVER, then hands over the "finished" product in June... a week before the wedding. Thanks, you stupid imbecile... I'm sure people's bodies don't change in the course of 5 months...

Saturday, June 7, 2008


I'm still in the process of cleaning out my room (half way done, yey!).

The process has been slowed down a bit because I'm so sentimentally attached to things, I find it hard to throw them away. I have things saved that should have been thrown out years ago (seriously, I was saving my bookstore receipt from my first semester of college? WTF, as if I'm so fond of those books!). However, each time I bump into them, I get this silly smile on my face because of the memories (as bad as they were to initially go through) they bring.

The two best examples I can find:
The Space Jam watch. It was given to me as a Christmas gift when I was 13...
Space Jam came out when I was in 6th grade (age 11).
Not only was this gift 2 years late... I was 13 and lived in the ghetto... meaning I went to a ghetto school... where NO ONE rocked Space Jam shit... unless they had a death wish, of course.
I remember getting the wrapped gift (from my "coolest" Godmother, nonetheless), and thinking
Ok... it's a watch... but I'm sure I'll love it 'cause my Godmom ROCKS!!
(I was going through a phase where I sort of worshipped her "bodacity," to quote Kung Fu Panda, aka her awesomeness)
When she gave me the gift, she said
"I wasn't sure if you'd like this... or what I gave CrazyDrivingCousin... but I decided this because you're growing up."

Sweet! An adult watch!

I had to open the gift in front of her, since it was past Christmas when it was given to me.
I was at her house... in front of her mom and dad (she's only 5 years older than me, my Godmom)... and I opened the gift carefully.
I remember seeing the white case, turning it over... and BAM!


When I looked up, everyone was smiling that stupid "You like?! You like?! Isn't it great?!" smile at me.

Godmom: it sings!
Me: Really?... Coo... L.

The watch was bulky... and heavy... I imagine it was like that because it could "sing."
I sat quietly... with that smile I typically do that sort of quivers... because I'm actually fighting off a scowl and tears.

Godmom: I gave CrazyDrivingCousin that Barbie that comes with the walking dog... I originally bought it thinking of you, but then my mom told me you were 13, you don't play with dolls by that age
Me: Oh... (internally) CDC is 11!! I still play with dolls!!! I still like dolls! Who the hell rocks Space Jam at my age?! Thanks a lot... "mom."

Once Mom said it was time to go, I race to the car and started to cry.

I never did learn how to use that damn thing... I could never make it sing... and I didn't want to. Fuck Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny's love affair.
I stored that shit and never wore it... not once.

And that, is the memory I have of my first SHITTY Christmas present... the shittiest of all.

Then there's this thing:
5th Grade Shit-talking note.
Hey, at least I came out of it victorious, right (circles mean "yes")?

The culprits behind it? My two (out of three) best friends... my third best friend was the poor girl on the note that they didn't like.
Oh, and Mario... he was my "boyfriend."

How's that for 5th grade drama?