Emerald Dress

 Thank you for visiting in my dreams last night.

It was vivid as hell. I felt like I was there. I felt like it really happened.
And I was at peace.
I was happy.
You made me smile.

I remember thinking in the dream "Ummm... wtf am I doing here? I'm going to get in trouble."
But... I was a bridesmaid. I was in a rush. I was having horrible social anxiety.
The dress was a sleeveless mermaid dress... emerald in color.
I just wanted to take the photos in the fancy church and run the hell out.

Then it's dark. I'm back on the beaches of Mykonos, sitting quietly alone, looking up at the stars.
No sadness.
No yearning.
Just peace.
In perfect, soothing solitude.
A sky so violet, it was lit up by a brilliant moon and equally bright stars.
A breeze that swooshed in a rhythm that fell in synch with my heartbeat.

Then you show up and sit next to me without saying a word. You look up at the stars too.
"I just... wish I could go back to how it was. How it used to be. I want to be selfish again. I just want to go back," I say.
"It'll be ok," you say as you get up and walk away.

After some more time spent admiring the sky and feeling the breeze on my face, I look over to the empty spot you left and an old digital camera in the sand... the screen turn on to a photo from the wedding I had left.
You took all sorts of beautiful candid photos of me as I rushed through the wedding, the camera was full of them. I saw so many profile photos, I remember feeling surprised I ever looked like that. I wondered if you had altered them. Then I felt warmth in my heart as I realized... that was how you saw me. That was the version of me you saw... but I was always so busy being angry and agitated and just... anxious.

Stop and enjoy the ride, bro.
That's the message I got... aside from the much needed relaxation... and the calming presence of yours.

My mind has Darcy as a calming presence. I seem to admire his ability to ride the wave.

And for those brief moments, I was calm.