Still alive I guess

The surgeon ended up prescribing me Percocet.
I don't know why the Dr. changed his mind about providing me with some post-op drugs, my best bet is that the messed up gallbladder agitated the area more than he expected.
Eating sucks, just as I had been warned. Anything I ingest ends up feeling like a shuriken just ripping up my intestines.

My biggest anxiety pre-op was not knowing how general anesthesia would work on me. I almost had an attack when they started clamping my arms and legs on to the operating table, and it only intensified as they placed the oxygen over my mouth.
The (cool) anesthesiologist then looked over at me and told me it was going to "burn" once I felt the anesthesia going in. Just as I was going to say "Oh shit, that was fast..." when I felt my eyelids feel heavy, I woke up to the sound of my heart monitor and I tried to say "Oh shit, y'all, I'm waking up!" thinking I was still about to get cut up.
I then realized my throat felt incredibly phlegmy, but I couldn't get it out. Instead, I let out an "Ohkayyy..." then a weaker "that was fast..."
I was surprised at how quickly the groggy feeling was dispersing.

I had no nausea, just a whole lot of fear of what was to come. I as under the impression that this was going to suck.

But nah... I'm doing alright. I mean, it fucking blows that I can't hold either of my boys... the littlest is the one completely bewildered by this... my poor little angel baby.
Ah, and I damn near fainted yesterday after my post-op shower... those motherfuckers always get me for whatever reason... probably my subconscious acting up at the sight of my wounds and how generally uncomfortable I am with all that shit.
But, I'm ok.

A cool thing I noticed is that my body doesn't feel as sluggish, or lethargic anymore. This last month felt like such a goddamn burden. There's now brightness to my day, if that makes sense... even if it's just me shuffling back and forth between my bedroom and the living room... I feel the warmth of the sun... I see the sharpness of color.

And that's it. That's all I have to say about anything. No feelings no nothing... I'm just going through the days waiting for these damn incisions to close up so I can stop thinking about them.