I've never been there...

So... I came clean to MGH in Cancun.
Of course, I needed the help from my cousin... and I waited until Thursday to let him in on the news.

I spent Thursday visiting Chichen Itza from 6 AM until 8 PM. I was driven to my hotel only to be told it was on fire.
yes...
My hotel was on fire, and I had to stand outside.
We were evacuated, but I was worried because MGH and Mooney were separated from my sis and I, since they didn't go on the tour with us.
After being allowed to my room in complete darkness to collect "only the essential!" I was reunited with Mooney and MGH. We took a taxi to a different hotel that we were set up to stay for the remainder of our visit.

I noticed MGH was a bit weird... and he then told me Mooney had told him I "needed to tell him something" and that I "would get sad whenever he went out with his friends."
I would have told him the truth right then and there, but since TravelinDin was in the room, I acted like he was crazy.
We proceeded to go to a nightclub... all 11 of our gang (we befriended all the teens of the hotel, haha), where I noticed he would hang around us more often than usual (we had gone to another club on Sunday, where he pretty much vanished into the crowd after half an hour).
I danced with him for a while, but once 3 AM rolled around, my sis was ready to drop and she wanted to leave. So we did... hence, I couldn't talk to him about the day's events.

The fact MGH hadn't said anything about Thursday was bugging the shit out of me, so come Friday afternoon, I told him after a dinner at Margaritaville.
Originally, I wasn't going to... but I was buzzed from a loaded margarita (I also hadn't had food that day, so I became buzzed almost immediately).

Mooney and TravelinDin left Margaritaville, but I heard a song that stopped me in my tracks as I was walking out.

Me: THIS IS MY SONGGGG!
MGH: Then let's stayyy!
Me: Oh my God... why are they playing THIS song?
MGH: IDK... let's listen.

So these break dancers started doing a show on stage to my song.
The liquid courage got to me, and I said:
"Mooney told me what she old you..."
MGH: About what?
Me: (giving him my "Oh, don't you act like you don't know what I'm talking about!" look, but at the same time immediately regretting ever opening my mouth) You know..
MGH: About you getting bummed out when I go out?
Me: No... come on... she said someth... oh my god... did that guy just do that?!
(I look over to the break dancers who were doing some crazy shit with their bodies)
Me: Man, these girls are gone! let's catch up!

And... that's how that ended.
He acted like he didn't know what was going on... this can't be good... he doesn't want me to talk about it... I know it... wow... just... wow...
No need to press the matter... I felt stupid enough.

I finally told him "you know... Mooney told you the truth... I do like you" at 1 AM today. No, not on the phone... not on skype... through a message on facebook.
Yes. I said a lot of things... including this line, that may sound corny as fuck, but I meant/mean with all sincerity: To me, you are perfect.

I avoided him the rest of the day... No need to say more... I know the outcome.

He left for Mexico today...
I leave for another part of Mexico Tomorrow.
I won't see him/hear from him until late August, if I'm lucky.

And that's how we end things with that story (sorry I got you involved in this, Mooney... but you have no idea how much I appreciate your assistance. Thank you. You were right... it felt good to get it all out... to be blunt about it... even if the outcome was not the one desired. Let's never speak of this again... I feel stupid enough for involving you in all this shit :( ).

But let's get to the imprtant part of this all: What was the song playing in the background as my heart was breaking Friday afternoon at Margaritaville?
The song that stopped me in my tracks, gave me courage, and eventually made everything seem to go in heart-breaking slow motion?



I kid you not.
:(

My life is a motherfucking movie... one in which I don't enjoy being such a lonely protagonist.

baaack from cancun

I had thought about updating on the day I arrived, but I was tired... and the following day I had to get up early... and it was just a longggg ass day.
So I decided to update now, at two am of the long ass day.

Anyway, I will post Cancun photos tomorrow... if I remember.

The trip wasn't a bust... just... well, only in the heart department. That shit went down just like everyone predicted.
Surprise, surprise... I might as well join a convent by now... this sucks.

I leave for Durango on Wedensday... I think.

Here's to me surviving this shit.

la playa

I leave for Cancun tomorrow.
This trip has been in the works since... shoot... October? November? I can't remember... but I just thought it was never going to get here.

I will come back tanner...
and probably more miserable than I already am.
I could almost put money on it.

:T

Hurting.

Soy fea... siempre lo fui.
Nadie me quiere, nadie me quiso, y nadie me querrá.


Sometimes... it even hurts to breathe.

family drama

Your aunt's son-in-law just stressed her out so badly, she had a heart-attack and died.
She was a sweet, kind-hearted lady who was a constant, almost carbon copy of your deceased grandmother.
He is a crazy mother-fucker who loves finding any excuse to sue people... and he is handicapped.

Do you:
A) get on the next flight headed for the bay area to find this fuck and beat/choke him with his own cane.
B) harbor so much hate for this motherfucker, the next time you see him, you'll push him down the highest altitude possible... in hopes he lands on the sharpest objects in the vicinity.
C) pray to a higher power that this subhuman piece of shit dies a slow, painful, and above all LONELY death.
D) cry... your last connection to your grandmother just passed away... harboring any bad feelings will only make your hypochondriac ass suffer a heart-attack, aunt-style.

How can such trash inhabit this world?

:(

mmm... bacon!

Is it fucked up of me to sort of be happy that someone's vacation has totally been ruined?

It is, huh?

Even if we're speaking MGH here?


So we talked it out... and like always, I have opted to trust... and well, basically be an idiot about it.
We're not an item by any means... but... we're at this weird place where we like each others company... so we spend hours talking to each other about 3 times a week.

Anyway, during one of these marathon conversations, we talked about his trip to Mexico.
He left Friday night, and comes back on... Sunday?
He was stoked... making huge plans of being drunk every single day, and hitting up parties left and right.
And... well...
What has been on the news this whole week?
Yeah.
I love pigs.
hahaha.

Needless to say, it totally ruined his trip, since he was planning on partying it up with his pals (boys AND gals... which no matter how much I claim not to be bothered by it, I totally lose sleep over this shit).
To kill it, today's his birthday...
and everything's cancelled/closed!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh my god... I'm terrible...
but what can I say?
Someone in Heaven really likes me.
:]


And as an update on HHT, the gym dude:
I've totally been ignoring the poor guy.
I've done everything but physically cling to the walls at the gym, and morph into the bricks, each time I see him walking by.
It's not that he's ugly, look at him: (I would lick that body up and down until I would literally run out of saliva... wow)
But... I don't... I just... he's not... uff... it's just awkward.
And I can't forget to mention how many crazy-looking chicks I get staring at me each time HHT says what's up...
you can see them thinking shit like "WTF is he doing talking to her?! Don't talk to her, talk to ME!! MEEEEE! I WILL FUCK YOU! Boy... I. WILL. FUCK. YOU. HARD."
As I stand there like "Can I please... like... shrink... and like... can I go into the room and just disappear? What have I done to deserve this?"

I hate myself for admitting this, but I like my guys tall, nerdy, and pretty much scrawny... how sad.
... and wrong.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE, ANOMALIE! The big... buff... coffee... mmmm.
(yet, here you have me, severely emotionally-attached to a pigeon-toed, thank-God-no-longer-teen-aged-man-child that has braces and a beer belly... my priorities are ALL fucked up!)

Jimmy-gym-time!

How do you know you're well on your way to becoming a gym rat?
More than two trainers know your name and call it out each time they see you anywhere.

Har har...
To add to that, today while sitting in one of the classes, I was calmly (somewhat sadly... I'm still wounded over MGH being... well... MGH) picking at my nail polish when I notice a dude's body standing eerily close to me.
I look up... and who is it?
THE HOT HOT TRAINER.... with the bombass body... standing next to me, looking right at me.

Hot Hot Trainer: Hi! AnoMALIE, right?
Me: Oh, yeah! Hi!
HHT: I always see you around, just thought I'd introduce myself.

(reaches out to shake my hand... at this point, I was trying my hardest not to pass out... and all the chicks in the class were staring... equally mesmerized by this gorgeous man)

Me: (internally) Hands... so... soft... oh... my... wow... look at those arms... ohhhhh... be cool, AnoMALIE, BE COOL! (spoken) Oh, haha, well, nice to meet you, HHT.
HHT: Yeah, I thought it was about time... and you know... you make me laugh and stuff... and... heh-heh (smile)
Me: haha, cool... well, I'm sure I'll see you around (smile and wave goodbye)

Then... he awkwardly walked out of the room... and I went back to looking nonchalant... while a couple of girls stared at me.

I've heard from another trainer (I'm such a badass, I'm cool with like, 6 trainers... haha) that he's painfully shy... I'm flattered he went through the trouble of walking into a room full of girls (that turn into killer hawks in his presence) just to say what's up to little ol' me and no one else... as awkward as the exchange might have been.
And the funniest thing was that I was the more relaxed of the two. Like a day in the park (it's only once I got home that I started to be girly and all... high school about the event) for me.

<3

And to make things even cooler... the first 2 squares of my 8-pack (I bet Dad I was going to get a 6-pack, but I'm a little too ambitious, so I've changed it to 8-pack... but of course, Dad doesn't know of this change) are starting appear. Sadly, they're the very top squares... so they don't help any when it comes to squeezing into smaller pants.... but they sure do feel nice!
(I wish my entire body cooperated like this!)

haha... the shit I talk about now... insipid.