I don't want to be a mopey, angry girl... so I try and find shit to entertain myself.
This time, entertainment has been provided by one of my relatives... who I believe is somewhere around 16 years old (not quite sure because I see this kid probably once a year, on a good year).
Ok, so we all know I'm a girl of few words, yet I still carry this fame (in my family) of being a scandalous asshole. This fame has made me become nearly invisible on FB (god bless Twitter... I really let loose there), heaven forbid I upset one of my asshole relatives who lack the IQ points required to understand sarcasm (have y'all seen that Cara Delevingne interview that was labeled "awkward" because the imbecile hosts didn't understand her sarcasm? This one right here. THAT'S MY FUCKING LIFE! Facial expressions included. If I could be any one celebrity's friend, Cara would be my pick.. she's the fucking shit. But enough of that tangent). So I just shut the fuck up and say nothing... wouldn't want to upset an aunt or uncle or friend of a friend.
Well, anyway, this cousin, the 16 year old, is... interesting. She too has many rants... but I feel they're uh... interesting. HOWEVER, her rants get family support... which... dumbfounds me.
This morning, I woke up to her most recent rant:
Like I say in the email, I only wrote because I was encouraged to speak my mind... so I did... as calmly as possible. That's how I complain... almost fucking apologizing for feeling the way I am. Is it normal? I don't know... but it's what I do.
Anyway, my email elicited this response:
For some reason, it really fucking irritated me ("Are you trying to BUY me? Fuck you, son! I don't put up with that shit! I don't need your fucking charity!" When I'm aggravated, I think shit like that. It's the ghetto, yet dignified Mexican in me. You won't catch me accepting freebies willingly-- I'll shove that shit back in your hands), so I responded with this:
That email only made them respond immediately with a request to please speak to me over the phone.
And I did.
And I turned into the demure, submissive, apologetic fucking mute I am (thought I still refused the freebies, PROFUSELY).
Goddamn it.
I never win when I rant, I swear.
Whatever. I know I made sense... sort of. Who gives a shit if I don't gain support, but instead lose it.
... Still makes me laugh, though.
(Want to see me metaphorically "drop the mic"? Don't give me a real mic)
This time, entertainment has been provided by one of my relatives... who I believe is somewhere around 16 years old (not quite sure because I see this kid probably once a year, on a good year).
Ok, so we all know I'm a girl of few words, yet I still carry this fame (in my family) of being a scandalous asshole. This fame has made me become nearly invisible on FB (god bless Twitter... I really let loose there), heaven forbid I upset one of my asshole relatives who lack the IQ points required to understand sarcasm (have y'all seen that Cara Delevingne interview that was labeled "awkward" because the imbecile hosts didn't understand her sarcasm? This one right here. THAT'S MY FUCKING LIFE! Facial expressions included. If I could be any one celebrity's friend, Cara would be my pick.. she's the fucking shit. But enough of that tangent). So I just shut the fuck up and say nothing... wouldn't want to upset an aunt or uncle or friend of a friend.
Well, anyway, this cousin, the 16 year old, is... interesting. She too has many rants... but I feel they're uh... interesting. HOWEVER, her rants get family support... which... dumbfounds me.
This morning, I woke up to her most recent rant:
I read that and did my usual sighing while covering my eyes with both hands... partly because I find the rant annoying, and partly because it frustrates me to see my family (who find MY rants ridiculous and embarrassing) applauding this.
Please know that when I rant, I am absolutely at my wit's end, ready to punch shit.
AND STILL, I think I craft my shit somewhat thoughtfully (unless I'm about to literally fight a bitch and my brain isn't working properly).
Here's an example of some shit I've been involved in this week:
Please know that when I rant, I am absolutely at my wit's end, ready to punch shit.
AND STILL, I think I craft my shit somewhat thoughtfully (unless I'm about to literally fight a bitch and my brain isn't working properly).
Here's an example of some shit I've been involved in this week:
Anyway, my email elicited this response:
For some reason, it really fucking irritated me ("Are you trying to BUY me? Fuck you, son! I don't put up with that shit! I don't need your fucking charity!" When I'm aggravated, I think shit like that. It's the ghetto, yet dignified Mexican in me. You won't catch me accepting freebies willingly-- I'll shove that shit back in your hands), so I responded with this:
That email only made them respond immediately with a request to please speak to me over the phone.
And I did.
And I turned into the demure, submissive, apologetic fucking mute I am (thought I still refused the freebies, PROFUSELY).
Goddamn it.
I never win when I rant, I swear.
Whatever. I know I made sense... sort of. Who gives a shit if I don't gain support, but instead lose it.
... Still makes me laugh, though.
(Want to see me metaphorically "drop the mic"? Don't give me a real mic)
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