I possess this special ability... well, I don't know if it could be called an ability... I'm just gifted at being around some place at the wrong time.
I'm gifted at having others express really fucked up shit in my presence, because they know I won't go off sharing the information (unless this venue is considered. I fucking over-share on this bitch).
ANYWAY. Let's take it back to four year ago, when I was attending a baby shower (or... maybe it was a christening?), mainly because my sister didn't want to go to the party on her own. She was going to use me as an excuse for bouncing early... so I agreed.
As the night wore on, (! it WAS a birthday! I just remembered the pregnant girl) I became increasingly comfortable BECAUSE I had a fun app on my phone with which to play. No one was trying to drag me into small talk, and my sister found her niche of ex-coworkers to talk shit. This shit-talking powwow worked well for me because everyone was talking shit about someone I did not know... until one of the girls mentioned another female from Hometown.
Rose: This girl is such a fucking idiot. I tell my cousin to dump her fat ass... we'll find him a new bitch to get him papers, but he doesn't listen!
Sister: Wait... you're talking about *HometownChickThreeYearsMySenior*? She's a legal US citizen? Hm.
Rose: Yeah. My cousin only put up with her gross ass because she's his gateway to legalization. That bitch irritates him so bad... I don't know how you guys could put up with her in Hometown, she strikes me as MORE repugnant out there, since she's now considered a "Northerner." Insufferable bitch. But she'll get what's hers.
Everyone laughed. I looked up from my phone, completely disgusted.
True, I never really liked the girl being torn to shreds, and the mean girl was sort of right to an extent (HometownGirl WAS pretty insufferable back then), but to take such pleasure knowing you were playing with someone's feelings and future like that sickened me.
But everyone laughed... so it must have been a joke, right?
The fact that I didn't tell HometownGirl... does that make me a bad person? I mean... there was really no way for me to KNOW what I had heard was real, right?
I didn't say a word.
HometownGirl married the dude... went through the immigration process which included the dude moving to HOMETOWN-- which wasn't his at all. He isn't even from my state. He lived with his wife's family, and we all tried making him comfortable, always including him in our summer activities when we'd go to Hometown. We embraced that guy and let him know he was not alone.
His now-wife stayed here in Vegas, and would send him money.
Then he got his citizenship (my brother worked at the US consulate in Juarez at the time, was assigned this case, and had to refuse it due to conflict of interest. HometownGirl and all families still think they owe the citizenship to my brother. "Nah, dude, I fucking looked at the name and immediately tattled on myself. 'Nope. Can't do this one. I know the guy.' And I was off the case... but they're free to believe whatever the hell they want"), came back to Vegas, and lived a life where he yearned for HOMETOWN, not his own, but MINE.
Fast forward to last month, when the dude visited Hometown for the patron saint's festivities.
This motherfucker was drunk every single fucking day of the first two weeks of September. Every single fucking day.
This bitch didn't let me sleep at night because he'd sing full-blast in front of my house with a live band and a MOTHERFUCKING MICROPHONE... until 4:30 in the fucking morning. IN A MOTHERFUCKING TOWN IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WILD!
I. Hated. Him.
I kept wondering why his wife wouldn't go looking for him, dragging him home... what kind of careless wife is this woman?!
Often, I'd fight the urge to run outside and get in the drunkard's face. GO HOME AND SING IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOU DUMB ASS SON OF A BITCH!
But then I'd remember what part of the world I was in, and remembered about the barbaric atrocities people in that area are capable of perpetrating.
Short skip forward, to last night, as we watched the soccer match between my two countries.
My yelling and tachycardic episodes all came to a complete silence when HometownGirl showed up to the gathering, crying... completely destroyed.
She's getting divorced.
He really did only marry her for her legal status.
I froze in the recliner I had been swinging in, and covered my mouth, averting any eye contact with anyone.
I knew the whole time. I knew before it happened... but I didn't want to believe it was real. I didn't want to think others were capable of doing that shit, let alone BRAG about it.
Am I a bad person? What do I tell this girl? DO I tell her anything? Man, that felt like shit.
... And this is why I don't like people.
I'm gifted at having others express really fucked up shit in my presence, because they know I won't go off sharing the information (unless this venue is considered. I fucking over-share on this bitch).
ANYWAY. Let's take it back to four year ago, when I was attending a baby shower (or... maybe it was a christening?), mainly because my sister didn't want to go to the party on her own. She was going to use me as an excuse for bouncing early... so I agreed.
As the night wore on, (! it WAS a birthday! I just remembered the pregnant girl) I became increasingly comfortable BECAUSE I had a fun app on my phone with which to play. No one was trying to drag me into small talk, and my sister found her niche of ex-coworkers to talk shit. This shit-talking powwow worked well for me because everyone was talking shit about someone I did not know... until one of the girls mentioned another female from Hometown.
Rose: This girl is such a fucking idiot. I tell my cousin to dump her fat ass... we'll find him a new bitch to get him papers, but he doesn't listen!
Sister: Wait... you're talking about *HometownChickThreeYearsMySenior*? She's a legal US citizen? Hm.
Rose: Yeah. My cousin only put up with her gross ass because she's his gateway to legalization. That bitch irritates him so bad... I don't know how you guys could put up with her in Hometown, she strikes me as MORE repugnant out there, since she's now considered a "Northerner." Insufferable bitch. But she'll get what's hers.
Everyone laughed. I looked up from my phone, completely disgusted.
True, I never really liked the girl being torn to shreds, and the mean girl was sort of right to an extent (HometownGirl WAS pretty insufferable back then), but to take such pleasure knowing you were playing with someone's feelings and future like that sickened me.
But everyone laughed... so it must have been a joke, right?
The fact that I didn't tell HometownGirl... does that make me a bad person? I mean... there was really no way for me to KNOW what I had heard was real, right?
I didn't say a word.
HometownGirl married the dude... went through the immigration process which included the dude moving to HOMETOWN-- which wasn't his at all. He isn't even from my state. He lived with his wife's family, and we all tried making him comfortable, always including him in our summer activities when we'd go to Hometown. We embraced that guy and let him know he was not alone.
His now-wife stayed here in Vegas, and would send him money.
Then he got his citizenship (my brother worked at the US consulate in Juarez at the time, was assigned this case, and had to refuse it due to conflict of interest. HometownGirl and all families still think they owe the citizenship to my brother. "Nah, dude, I fucking looked at the name and immediately tattled on myself. 'Nope. Can't do this one. I know the guy.' And I was off the case... but they're free to believe whatever the hell they want"), came back to Vegas, and lived a life where he yearned for HOMETOWN, not his own, but MINE.
Fast forward to last month, when the dude visited Hometown for the patron saint's festivities.
This motherfucker was drunk every single fucking day of the first two weeks of September. Every single fucking day.
This bitch didn't let me sleep at night because he'd sing full-blast in front of my house with a live band and a MOTHERFUCKING MICROPHONE... until 4:30 in the fucking morning. IN A MOTHERFUCKING TOWN IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WILD!
I. Hated. Him.
I kept wondering why his wife wouldn't go looking for him, dragging him home... what kind of careless wife is this woman?!
Often, I'd fight the urge to run outside and get in the drunkard's face. GO HOME AND SING IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOU DUMB ASS SON OF A BITCH!
But then I'd remember what part of the world I was in, and remembered about the barbaric atrocities people in that area are capable of perpetrating.
Short skip forward, to last night, as we watched the soccer match between my two countries.
My yelling and tachycardic episodes all came to a complete silence when HometownGirl showed up to the gathering, crying... completely destroyed.
She's getting divorced.
He really did only marry her for her legal status.
I froze in the recliner I had been swinging in, and covered my mouth, averting any eye contact with anyone.
I knew the whole time. I knew before it happened... but I didn't want to believe it was real. I didn't want to think others were capable of doing that shit, let alone BRAG about it.
Am I a bad person? What do I tell this girl? DO I tell her anything? Man, that felt like shit.
... And this is why I don't like people.
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