Hot Sauce

Went to bed with "nictitating membrane" plaguing my mind.

I cried... I ruminated... I sketched... I fucking did all that typical AnoMALIE shit.
I didn't puke though... I mostly just cried.

It's that scenario I dread: Hey, marry this guy. He's rich, prestigious, he likes you and wants you... you're old and no one else is hollering... marry this guy and just LEARN to love him.
Just rework it so it has to do with my career.
It wants you, it's interesting, nothing else is biting... sure, you'll vomit on the regular due to the stress of your unhappiness... but FUCK IT! You've been unhappy for the greater part of your life, you'll learn to handle this.

This research takes place in south east Mexico... the beach.
I like the beach... for two days. Years? After a month, I'll jump into the ocean... never to be heard from again, like in the REAL Little Mermaid (I won't turn into sea foam, but I'll definitely DIE).

But... after much thought... I'm contacting this guy and seeing where this takes me.
Who's to say the Universe doesn't conspire to fuck this up for me as well? Maybe FrenchDude (SUPER stereotypical name... just GUESS... it's like if I were named "Maria") catches on to the fact that I'm not as cool as Daniel made me sound... and he cuts me loose... ?
If this opportunity ACTUALLY works out? No worries... I won't really commit suicide... I'll just live a really, REALLY sad life... with a bunch of scientists and crocodiles... in the Mexican humidity... my skin in fucking perpetual adolescence.
At least... I'll be legitimately alone, right? Away from everything and everyone...

Jesus Christ.

(When I was about 10, I remember helping out at church for a Virgin of Guadalupe celebration where they had 32 little kids with sashes representing all 32 Mexican states. I wanted Durango... but of course, the person running the show made her daughter be DGO's representative. I was given a random sash, and read the name to myself: Tabasco? Isn't that a hot sauce? Is that where they make the fucking hot sauce?! I'm representing a HOT SAUCE in front of THE VIRGIN OF GUADALUPE?! TABASCO?!

... This is where I'd be relocating if it all works out. I wish I were kidding...)

Crocs are ugly.

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
I'm only writing this because I want to... have the Universe do whatever it may with me opening my mouth about this:
I've suddenly been presented with the opportunity to get a PhD in my field of study.
The professor/lead researcher is FRENCH, of all things.

Normal people would be excited about this... since it found ME... not the other way around.
Serendipity?
But I'm miserable. I want to cry... so bad.

It's a cool research opportunity... it has to do with climate change and shit of that nature (I don't want to give too much away out of paranoia). Animal of study: crocodiles.
...
....
........... ???
What the hell do I know about crocodiles beyond them having that extra eyelid? Or is that just alligators? And then there's that rounded snout thing.
???

GODDAMN IT! THIS SUCKS.
GODDAMN IT GODDAMN IT GODDAMN IT!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I'm such an ingrate.
Such a fucking bum.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

My tormentor: Biology.

I've thoroughly enjoyed this first day of break.

My Suns won game two yesterday, I went to bed late (sort of. Not as late as this past weekend, but I lasted past 2 AM), woke up later, and I've finished all my chores (eh... sort of. I have finished my daily workout though, and that always makes me feel better).

I can't say this semester was horrible, but I can't say it was great either.
It blew last year out of the water (fuck 2006... really... I fucking hated it and I still make myself sick thinking about it), but it came nowhere near 2004.

Here's my ode to all 3 classes of this semester:

Histology:
Oh, Histology... how you will be missed.
I'll miss the professor falling asleep mid-sentence.
I'll miss the weirdos that sat behind me and cracked jokes about anything and everything.

I'll miss the many ways in which this class traumatized me: (Yeah, that's a 70-something-year-old lady's LEG! Supernumary breasts freak me the FUCK OUT)(Dude behind me said "Oh my God! That's Awesome!" when he saw this in class. I, on the other hand, touched my thigh and wanted to vomit)
I'll miss the lab that drove me insane because I had to sit around for 3 hours Mondays and Wednesdays.
I'll miss the lab TA who'd get so nervous he'd stutter the wrong words ("Rolex formation" rather than "Rouleaux formation," "Penal gland" instead of "Pineal gland"), and who I also made uncomfortable with my comments (i.e. Quit bending over so much, this isn't a strip club! or just calling him "Kyle").
If I would have bumped into this class a year ago, I would probably still be interested in pursuing something in the Bio field.
It just didn't happen for us, Biology... let's move on, ok? You'll find better, smarter people (that don't cheat. Motherfuckers...), and I'll quit vomiting and passing out prior to exams. I was too much of a dreamer for you, anyway (need proof? Scope this out, my Biology 190 notes: Need I say more?).

Biochemistry:
Fuck you man... you ruined my life last year (and you ruined all hope/desire to join the medical field. You made me hate Biology. Not even O-chem got that distinction).
But... Carper was a riot... a little weird... but he made me laugh.
Nice final... very nice final.
Never again do I want to stumble upon anything Biochemistry related, you hear me?
Man, I freakin' hate you.

Mammalian Physiology:
F.U.C.K. Y.O.U.
Hate does not describe my feelings toward you. Not even close.
I thought maybe I just sucked ass at physiology... but cell phys in Fall '06 proved that theory to be quite wrong (I count acing that third exam as one of the biggest victories in my life... even above leaving the ghetto!).
No, no... I just don't like mammalian physiology.
I used to blame the professors... and while I'm not fond of two of the three, they weren't really the ones to blame (or... maybe they were... because I didn't suck at histology and they'd sometimes be covering the same thing in both classes. Maybe I just connected a lot better with W than G,Y, and R).
I'm ecstatic that I leave you behind... as a very, very awful chapter in my life.
YUCK... just... fucking EWW.
Fuck you, burn in hell, Mammalian physiology.
I hate you. So, SO, bad.
A ton.
Just in case I didn't get my point across clearly,
Fuck you.

With Love,
AnoMALIE

Ah... well, that felt great.
Now, if you don't mind, I got some books to burn and a Bloody Mary to sip on as I watch with tears of joy in my eyes.

Thank you, Diosito, it's over!

What's that you say?

I have a friend (the one who calls herself the "funny friend") that uses the
"DON'T YOU TRY AND TELL ME I CAME FROM A MONKEY!"
excuse whenever she, Chase, Leky, and I talk evolution.

It's not like we start the evolution conversation (shit, we have better things to argue about... like say, hoes)... she brings it on all by herself.
Leky: So how many guys can a girl kiss before you consider her a skank?
Me: I dunno... (why are you asking me? Do I look like a hoe expert?-- actually, with the frequency with which I do it... talk shit about hoes that is)
Chase: Depends on the circumstances.... like if she kisses 50 guys in one night, then yeah, she's a hoe.
Leky: What do you think, Lucky Soprano (aka "Funny Friend")?
Lucky Soprano: You know what really irritates me? When people try and tell me I come from a monkey!
Me, Leky, Chase: WTF?

All three of us (Leky, Chase, and I) are bio majors (well, Leky switched to Criminal Justice after two years, like a smart person, while Chase and I stuck with bio and regretted it months later) and Lucky Soprano's a... I believe an Education major. This outburst from her makes Leky, Chase, and me look at each other, slowly crack our knuckles, and prepare for the roast (yeah, yeah, we're mean).
I'd write up some of her arguments... but even thinking about them works me up. The last time this girl had a science class was back in 10th grade when it was mandatory (actually, no, she took Bio 100, I believe... so she feels well prepared for this argument), but she still feels up for a fight with 3 people who definitely don't agree with her.
After a while of not getting through to her, we give up... because it becomes obvious that the only people getting angry are, well, us.

I think maybe I'd be better prepared for this argument if this type of argument ever arose in my family... but they're all generally bio lovers (well, PBS lovers). We're all religious, some more than others, but we don't take evolution as an attack on our religion (despite what this new Pope says...), we kinda try to work it in (but not like "intelligent design," no, no). So until this friend of mine brought up the whole "I'm not related to a monkey!" argument, I never really had to fight with anyone over the topic of evolution.

Well!! This bring me to what happened today.
As I was going to enter my first class, Chase pointed out a flier that was posted on the wall outside the lecture hall.
Chase: OMG, AnoMALIE! Come look at this!
I thought it was going to be something that would be grossly misspelled... or maybe that the price for egg donation had skyrocketed (Chase and I have fun considering the possibilities: fast money... no need to raise a kid... but do I really want to see little kids running around that look like me and don't call me mommy? That would be some creepy shit), but once I read it, Lucky Soprano came to mind:
Although I'm not very down with arguing with anyone (I'd much rather fist fight to get shit over with. haha) we're now thinking about bringing Lucky Soprano with us to this lecture (and as many science major as we can). It'd be fun to see if Lucky Soprano claps along to what the lecturer says... and maybe she'll even inputs some of her own ideas... I mean, she and the lecturer are both education people... great minds think alike, right?
Then again, this might come to later on bite us in the ass next time Leky, Chase, and I have the evolution conversation with Lucky Soprano (because this happens every single time we go out). She might find new material to piss us off with.

Fuh-fuh-fuh-funnnn!