This or that

Question:
Forgive and forget? It's all good, babe, it hurt like super concentrated nitric acid running down my throat... but I love you and that's all that will ever matter.

or

Fuck that shit! Ignore, IGNORE, IGNORE! Have some self respect, you idiot!

...

I fear I'm giving these kids the impression that they can step all over me... (I mean, yeah, I'm generally a good person... but come on... there comes a point where this "niceness" must be considered idiocy... and I'm pretty sure I'm crossing that line)
I'm going to be a horrible mom (I can be such a heartless bitch with people... why not them? Note to self: DON'T EVER EVER EVER HAVE KIDS!!).

... I'm suffocating.

That all too familiar feeling has a hold of me again.

... the one where you feel like your chest is getting compacted by two giant bulldozers.

I'm broken... and I'm gonna stay that way.


The person I least expected to break my heart, did...

my own godson.

I'm out [my trust in people? completely gone... for good].

Fight! Fight! Fight! A chick and a... chick!

Sweet baby carrots...
Man... what a freaking weekend.

Why is it that girls love to incite such drama?
It sort of scares me how so many of them get a rise (I think that choice of words works best when referring to a dude, but whatever, I don't feel like jogging my brain for a better phrase) in seeing the offended party react. They get so excited... ape-style... when they see a girl react violently to shady news.

Of course... the latest person offering the spectacle was me... surprise, surprise.
Being that I've had ENOUGH of girls talking shit, I went off and spewed at the mouth last night (well, I had originally been told of the shit Friday night... then I got an early morning phone call Saturday, where I was told of all the shit-talking-- things are STILL being said about that damned October weekend when we celebrated my sister's 21st b'day-- this time, to an explicit extent), and I dealt with the backlash today.

I felt GREAT after letting it all out. It was the damn catharsis I was desperately seeking.

I wrote the heart-felt bulletin (yeah, of course, this business was handled via Myspace, since the bitches live in California, and driving all the way out there to slap them around for a couple of minutes isn't quite worth it. Plus, it serves as fair warning to anyone else thinking about talking shit... especially Las Vegas residents. Get me THAT pissed and you best believe I WILL hunt your ass down and we WILL have a nasty altercation) Saturday afternoon, then left for the rest of the day.
When I got back home, I had 10 replies to my bulletin. TEN.
Do you know how hard that is? I mean, I bet that happens on a daily basis to people who have 200+ friends... but I'm lucky if I get ONE reply.
Ten is definitely a scary number.
Out of those ten, ONE was a dude... a drunk one, actually.
The dude was being protective, of course, offering to beat anyone's ass for me because "You're a sister to me, man! A SISTER TO ME!"
The chicks?
"Whoa! What happened, man?! What's the bitch's name?!"
Then the text messages came... (Mooney, yours wasn't a surprise, you're like a sister to me, haha. So you being concerned for me was actually comforting)
and they all seemed... excited.

???

At least I now know who to invite to UFC fights...
and who'll be there to talk some sense into me if I ever get worked up at a bar (on the flip side, who I should TOTALLY avoid, unless I want to gain fame as AnoMALIE, bar-fighting extraordinaire).

... ho hum...

I had planned to write something every day for the month of November... but I guess that idea went down the John.

I haven't been doing so good...
October was one mess of a month (way to kill my 2008, October... you outdid August, believe it or not... fucker).
My mental state is... man... I don't know how to put it.
No, I'm no longer walking around crying everywhere, wrapped in a blanket...
But I am cleaning like fucking crazy... I had this conversation with my sis just yesterday, after I cleaned out most of her room (there were things in there that hadn't been touched since 1999):

TravelinDin: Damn... you should have mental breakdowns more often...
Me: Fuck you, fool.
TravelinDin: Or shit... just make cleaning your career!

No one in the house is complaining about this cleaning phase of mine... not even yours truly over here. My only... downer about it is the fact that I find things I wrote/were written to me/ were collected by me during some of the worst times of my life... and going back to those days REALLY fucks me up.

But I suspect the rest of my family is also going through some sort of emotional issue...
Why?
Well... first off, we get that 3 for 1 deal thing from Embark... you know, satellite/phone (that pisses me the fuck off because it SUCKS!)/internet (that once again, SUCKS because we STILL don't get it because apparently, the fucking boonies where I'm located is fucking stupid or haunted or some shit... because it's quite fucking impossible to get FAST internet in these here stupidass parts of Las Vegas) last week...
then, a giant rift forms in the family due to SOME people voting McCain... and the rest voting Obama...
and now...
they went off and bought themselves a 65-inch plasma (LCD? I dunno... whatever, like I care) for the living room.

???

I have a feeling my family thinks they can single-handedly fix the US's failing economy...
Oh, sweet, sweet Republicans...

No blackout for me come February '09!

It's official:
For the first time in my life, there is LEGAL satellite in my home!

(so many "firsts" for me this year... I didn't think this one would ever come)

Ahhh-haaaa!

Everything makes sense now!

Well... I'd rather be an alcoholic than a dumbass.

I saw

Last night I was invited to the world premier of Saw V.

Since I'm desperately seeking distractions in my life right now (I'm still walking around the house crying and whatnot... I got the whole "La Llorona" thing down pat for now... I just don't go around asking for the whereabouts of my children), I agreed to go.
I was supposed to go to my cousin's wife's baby shower... but I only dropped by for about ten minutes and left (TravelinDin and I are pretty pissed at that family right now).

Anyway... the premier was at Planet Hollywood and it took for-fucking-ever to get the damn movie started.
There was a redcarpet going on and everything... but you see, I didn't really give a shit since I don't really know the actors in the damn movie.

We were given free, unlimitied amounts of popcorn of various flavors... I ate 3 bags, to tell you the honest truth... because I don't turn down free shit... and i was interested in knowing what three of those flavors tasted like.

Anyway, once in the theater, we were introduced to 5 of the actors... then came Jigsaw himself.
While everyone was ecstatic to see him on stage... I couldn't stop thinking "Wow... I saw this man's penis in the last movie.... ewww... old man penis... " and I stopped eating my popcorn.

The movie itself was... a disappointment. You know in the last few minutes of the film where they start playing that little music as they start unraveling the truth behind the game and we're told who did what and why? Well... for all the previous movies, I've been able to unravel the truth before they even start playing that damn little music.
But this time, once I heard the song begin, I became irritated.

WTF?!? NO! WHAT?! No way! This sucked! Stop! Stop right now and fix this!

There were people outside getting our reactions. My reaction?
Each time I come out of these films... I have a new found appreciation for my body parts...
Any other comments on the movie?
[I walk away]

I'm glad I didn't cough up the 10 bucks to see this film, like I had originally planned. I would have been pissed (I mean, I was already pissed now, when they had given me unlimited, free Jalapeño-flavored popcorn and fountain drinks... AAAAAND I had met Jigsaw and thought about his penis).
And the gore in it? Eh... it was... kind of funny, to tell you the truth.

Overall:
Saw creators.... your plot SUCKED.
(But the VIP treatment did rock...)