Rependeja

Next time you see me, remember to SLAP the fucking shit out of me for being such a FUCKING idiot.

Why is it that I allow someone to manipulate me so esily? Someone younger, of all things.
I do so much, practically jump through hoops to try to get him to say something remotely close to commitment.. but the most I get is some random ass... compliment.

"If he likes you, you'll know. If he doesn't, you'll be 'confused'."
I read this and felt my blood go cold.
It rings true in my case.
I'm wasting my time... yet, he has this strange power over me. If he even speaks to me, it makes my day... I'll be smiling for hours. He says "Jump," and I ALWAYS ask "how high."

He's not the most handsome guy on Earth... in fact, I've heard guys and girls refer to him as "ugly." However, to me, nothing compares to the look of his honey-colored eyes, his perfect nose, pouty lips, porcelain skin, soft, amazing hands... I even find myself admiring his eyebrows, for crying out loud!
There's just something about him that makes me melt and has me at his beck and call. It's fucking scary... and highly irritating, but I CAN'T STOP!
I admit, I'm easily infatuated with guys... however, I get over them in a month tops once things go bad. There's only one exception to this rule... and he's probably the only dude who'd I'd drop anything I'm doing for, aside from the guy this entry's about-- MGH, but I've already accepted the fact that it will NEVER happen. So why can't I apply this idea with MGH?

Each time I find myself forgetting about MGH, he comes back... with a simple question... or an idea... and once again, he's in my life... talking my ear off until the wee hours of the night (and of course, I listen... I jump with joy and find stupid excuses to cross a word with him). I'm sure it's when he's bored, or he himself is being ignored by some chick he digs...how can he think it's fair? Why doesn't he just try?

I, ladies and gentlemen, am an idiot.