Point taken. Thanks.

"Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't love you as much as you love them?"

I ended things.
Well, it sort of just happened that way.
He was all happy-go-lucky today, asking me to get on-line. He had been all up in my face about it for two days.
I finally did today.
I let him know it wasn't ok to drag me like this. I told him I wasn't up for speaking to him, because it hurt me to even cross a word with him.
He acted like I was the crazy, over-emotional one.

I brought up the fact that he didn't write to me or anything on my birthday... that he was the only one who didn't, and that it really hurt me.
"Yes I did! I wished you a happy birthday!"
"No dude... you didn't. You ignored me for two weeks."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Promise."

I fucking HATE that word... "Sorry." That fucking word can go to hell.
It is so easy to ignore, hurt, betray... what have you... and at the end of it all just say that piece of shit word and have people think everything will be ok... that the person on the recieving end will ignore the pain and be happy again. Like that fucking shit is the magical fix to everything.
It isn't.
Not in my case.

It's not that I hold grudges...
but...
for so long, nearly everyone has expected me to "forgive" all of these fucked up transgressions with the uttering of that simple, stupid word.
Erase all of those nights spent crying... waking up with pink eyelids... contemplating STUPID ideas... walking anywhere with my head down feeling unworthy... all these goddamn traumas... and "Sorry" is supposed to be the immediate cure-it-all? Really? Does that shit work for people? I wanna meet those people... they're saints.

I'm just... I'm going back to school. I'm going to keep busy... and I'm going to forget.

Please keep me busy.
And off goddamn Facebook.


(oh boy, if you guessed I'm going to get vindictive about this... you guessed right. He will be sorry... and I will ignore. He will miss the fucking hell out of me. Trust me.)