I've been reunited with my laptop for a couple of days now.
I suffered what I like to call the equivalent of post-partum depression, but with electronics.
Well, guess it's just a general attitude I take with my possessions once they've been fucked.
For instance, my 4Runner when I first got it back in... '06? Oh shit, I totally don't recall the year... but I can almost swear it was '06. ANYWAY, it was 11 days old and I had been happy with it (for the most part) when I then had to deal with my sister crashing it. My love for Bambi was gone. When I got her back, I no longer cared for her... I rejected her like some momma bird rejecting her babies after smelling the scent of a human on the little guys.
I don't know what it is, but once something is "tainted" I quit giving a shit... I get heartbroken and then reject whatever it is.
So... MacBook pretty much suffered the same fate.
Upon bringing it home with me form the store, I left it in my room, and continued with my home task (I was going through some serious cleaning-lady issues... turned my fucking house upside down cleaning like a madwoman-- you know, that thing I do when I'm VERY upset and trying to keep busy in order to keep from thinking too much).
I was scared and reluctant to turn it on.
MacBook chilled in my room for a day.
When I finally used it, my fears materialized.
I wasn't shocked. I expected it... because I know how fucking idiotic I can be.
I lost everything.
Because I backed my shit up... into my sister's external hard drive... which is in Chicago.
Yey.
Now, I wasn't upset about the music... I have what I want on my phone... and there's also Spotify to cover me on my playlists.
My photos? I was slightly upset about that one... but the important photos are either in my phone or in different flash drives... so I'm ok with that.
What was the one fucking thing I did not backup ANYWHERE?
My writings.
This made me cry, hard, for about two minutes.
I did not cry out of sadness, but out of 100% unadulterated rage.
How could I be so stupid? FUCK!
And that was it. No sobbing, no whimpering. I allowed the tears to roll down my face as I screamed "GOD! I'M SO FUCKING STUPID!" for no more than two minutes, I took a deep breath, and I was good.
So... pardon me for not touching my laptop for a while. I don't really give a shit about the internet for now... or anything that involves a computer (well, aside from listening to music. That's imperative in my life-- music).
I've been cleaning, running errands, being an adult, making decisions... and none of it requires the internet.
I'm a very happy girl when I'm away from technology. Like... really, really happy.
I suffered what I like to call the equivalent of post-partum depression, but with electronics.
Well, guess it's just a general attitude I take with my possessions once they've been fucked.
For instance, my 4Runner when I first got it back in... '06? Oh shit, I totally don't recall the year... but I can almost swear it was '06. ANYWAY, it was 11 days old and I had been happy with it (for the most part) when I then had to deal with my sister crashing it. My love for Bambi was gone. When I got her back, I no longer cared for her... I rejected her like some momma bird rejecting her babies after smelling the scent of a human on the little guys.
I don't know what it is, but once something is "tainted" I quit giving a shit... I get heartbroken and then reject whatever it is.
So... MacBook pretty much suffered the same fate.
Upon bringing it home with me form the store, I left it in my room, and continued with my home task (I was going through some serious cleaning-lady issues... turned my fucking house upside down cleaning like a madwoman-- you know, that thing I do when I'm VERY upset and trying to keep busy in order to keep from thinking too much).
I was scared and reluctant to turn it on.
MacBook chilled in my room for a day.
When I finally used it, my fears materialized.
I wasn't shocked. I expected it... because I know how fucking idiotic I can be.
I lost everything.
Because I backed my shit up... into my sister's external hard drive... which is in Chicago.
Yey.
Now, I wasn't upset about the music... I have what I want on my phone... and there's also Spotify to cover me on my playlists.
My photos? I was slightly upset about that one... but the important photos are either in my phone or in different flash drives... so I'm ok with that.
What was the one fucking thing I did not backup ANYWHERE?
My writings.
This made me cry, hard, for about two minutes.
I did not cry out of sadness, but out of 100% unadulterated rage.
How could I be so stupid? FUCK!
And that was it. No sobbing, no whimpering. I allowed the tears to roll down my face as I screamed "GOD! I'M SO FUCKING STUPID!" for no more than two minutes, I took a deep breath, and I was good.
So... pardon me for not touching my laptop for a while. I don't really give a shit about the internet for now... or anything that involves a computer (well, aside from listening to music. That's imperative in my life-- music).
I've been cleaning, running errands, being an adult, making decisions... and none of it requires the internet.
I'm a very happy girl when I'm away from technology. Like... really, really happy.
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