Thursday, October 17, 2013

So fucked, but SO COOL!

Don't ask me how this happened, but somehow, I managed to completely fuck up my MacBook.

Two days ago, as I was in the process of ranting on Facebook (because what else is that place for BUT to vent out my frustrations with the world? It's my fucking soap box... Though Twitter is QUICKLY taking over that top spot), I walked away from my laptop to grab a drink from the kitchen and when I looked over at my compute's screen, I had been redirected to an error page.
I then noticed Twitter wasn't working... And neither were any of my email boxes... And The entire Chrome browser was having NONE of it, immediately booting me off when I tried loading it.
THEN I couldn't install software updates.
THEN I couldn't set up an appointment with a Genius via internet, so I went ahead and drove the two minutes (literally) to my nearest Apple store... Where I was given an appointment for this afternoon.

What happened? No one knows. I had THREE (bearded, mind you. Why are so many male Geniuses rocking huge beards? Is it a requirement to look like you're a pitcher for some baseball team?) "Geniuses" working on my MacBook. The proclaimed Mac-Whisperer was originally unimpressed until he started playing with my poor little guy. The dude's apathy quickly turned to excitement. "In the seven years I've been working with these things, I've only heard of this happening ONE other time! We don't know WHY or how it happens... But it is SO interesting. Check this out!" And so, the three men turned into teenaged boys staring into my poor, deathly-ill laptop... giddy with curiosity, pressing buttons and clicking away and "OHHHH!"ing in geeky amazement.
I sat there deflated and concerned... like some dog-mom who has been told they're going to have to put down her dog.

The (adorable) men sat there trying to explain what was going on and why it was so bizarre and exciting for MacBook pros. They weren't condecending or patronizing... They were all adorable (Something about guys trying to teach me makes me want to procreate with them... It's a terribly dangerous thing...) and genuinely stumped, trying to comfort me and educate me. I was simultaneously pouting and "smizing"-- giggling at their kindness and HELLA bummed about my busted laptop baby.

They then rebooted (or whatever the fuck that's called... Where they "clean the slate"... Erase everything and start from zero) and what happens? It FAILS!
Astonished men, very sad idiot girl.

SO! My appointment that was supposed to last 10 minutes (max), lasted an hour and a half.
I made three geeky boys GEEK OUT about my ("really fucked up" "I feel terrible for you... but this is SO cool and weird!") laptop, and I reconsidered my no babies/no marriage rule.

My laptop is going to be played with for three days, when I'll finally get it back.
My poor baby.

My phone can't handle this job.

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