Great news, guys! I'm feeling bet... nope, I'm still feeling pretty fucking shitty.
I'm still crying a lot.
I'm still taking "time outs" where I have to stop whatever the fuck I'm doing and just sit down and breathe in deeply... without thinking about ANYTHING. No thoughts. Can't think anything... because whatever I think about makes me cry and feel shitty.
I'm fucked up. Like, REALLY fucking fucked up.
The worst part is that I can't seem to get a firm grip on things. I'll be good for about 36 hours and then my emotions go fucking haywire and I go back to being so fucked up, I cry anytime, anywhere-- it can be while I sit at church, while I stand in the produce section of the grocery store, or while I'm working out, I'll find myself struggling to keep my tears at bay. I'll feel like fucking garbage and somehow manage to mentally abuse myself to the point where I'm convinced I'm fucking garbage, so I'll be crying in my car to save strangers the awkward scene of a grown person crying as she stares at some carrots.
Miserable. Absolutely motherfucking miserable.
I'm still crying a lot.
I'm still taking "time outs" where I have to stop whatever the fuck I'm doing and just sit down and breathe in deeply... without thinking about ANYTHING. No thoughts. Can't think anything... because whatever I think about makes me cry and feel shitty.
I'm fucked up. Like, REALLY fucking fucked up.
The worst part is that I can't seem to get a firm grip on things. I'll be good for about 36 hours and then my emotions go fucking haywire and I go back to being so fucked up, I cry anytime, anywhere-- it can be while I sit at church, while I stand in the produce section of the grocery store, or while I'm working out, I'll find myself struggling to keep my tears at bay. I'll feel like fucking garbage and somehow manage to mentally abuse myself to the point where I'm convinced I'm fucking garbage, so I'll be crying in my car to save strangers the awkward scene of a grown person crying as she stares at some carrots.
Miserable. Absolutely motherfucking miserable.
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