Sunday, March 22, 2015

Color blind

Your world is in vivid color... greens, golds, blues, reds... so many colors.
Sounds decorate your memories-- rain gently pouring outside at night, birds chirping, leaves rustling.
Then it all goes blank.
You see without really seeing, you hear without really hearing... you live without really living.
You might as well be walking alone through dust and rubble after a violent explosion... shellshocked as fuck.

For me, depression makes me live in a silent black and white film.
I can't really remember the last few months, to tell the truth-- nothing really stands out... it's all a giant, meaningless blur.

Then suddenly warmth beings to creep back into the picture.
Suddenly, I can feel the sun on my skin, feel the breeze swirl thought my hair... I can see light once again illuminating my world.
Just as randomly as the sadness entered my life, "feeling" is once again making a presence. Of course, "life" isn't returning to me with the same velocity as it randomly decided to leave me... but it sure feels good to once again notice color in my memories, to regain the ability to feel warmth-- as slow as the progress may be.


It has been rough... so. fucking. rough.

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