Noooo! AnoMALIE, I recommend you do not go tomorrow. It's too hard... I could not deal with that.
WHY?!
No.
::Sigh::
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Emotional break down, or acceptance... or a combination?
I'm not trying to be a martyr, it's just the way I am-- I try to reason shit out and often, sympathize.
I'm not brown-nosing, I find no use in falsely flattering anyone. When I compliment, I mean it... wholeheartedly... there's no hidden intent behind it.
When I don't give a shit, I don't even bother. No, I won't just be quiet-- I often care when I'm quiet-- but I WILL pick up and leave... just so I don't have to deal.
This entry was bound to happen, I mean, I've known since December.
Darcy and his girl.
Darcy has a girl, and once again, it isn't me.
Raised your hand if you're surprised. Ha.
Trust me, I've cried this one out numerous times by now.
I could get into the cruel specifics behind the tears... but that just makes me angry now.
Just know that for the last six months, a particular asshole has been making me cry thanks to his insensitive, inconsiderate comments. Trying to make me "snap out of it" or whatever.
When I learned that Darcy would be returning home for a break, I was happy... then of course, that certain idiot very abruptly and crudely informed me Darcy would be returning with his girl... a wife, to be exact. Boy... did I cry!
My trip abroad helped clear my mind... for the most part, since there will always be something to remind me of Darcy... every day... but at least I was smiling and laughing and exploring.
And then I returned to face the harsh reality.
The two weeks leading to Darcy's return were spent crying. Every single day. Crying and dreading the moment I'd have to see... both of them. Crying and dreading and lamenting... and trying to carry on like a normal person.
Cry it all out now... so when you have to face them, you'll be normal... get it all out now.
This, of course, is something I could have completely avoided in the eyes of many people... it's not like I was being forced to see them. It was entirely my choice to be exposed to this truth... this fact.
But you see... he's my friend. We are friends. It's not his fault he can't like me in the sense I wish he did. And I hadn't seen him in a year. And he's my friend. I appreciate him.
And then I met her.
I had to laugh to myself... at the coincidences in life-- her name happens to be the same name as one of the Bennet sister's on Pride and Prejudice. Of course Life would work out this way. Silly Life.
Often I hear girls hate on their "rivals"-- it's one of the reasons I tend to avoid girls. The cattiness is despicable, but so fucking contagious. I'm not immune to cattiness, even if naturally I'm chill... and kind until the person provides me with a reason NOT to be.
I could easily have taken a hostile stance... sat there and hated on everything from her choice in clothing, hairstyle, lifestyle... what else do broads hate on each other on? The way we speak? The way we apply makeup? Oh yeah, the way we SMILE?
Or I could have completely ignored her... I don't know this bitch. I don't have to talk to her! I find MANY girls apply this trick to me.
OR I could have just gone psycho... just found any dumb excuse to start brawling... girls are known to do that too.
I could have also just sat there and busted out crying... very AnoMALIE-esque.
But NO. I'm AnoMALIE. I'm FRIENDLY. And I'm nice. And I'm kind. And I will do anything in my power to make others feel comfortable, especially friends. I will do everything in my power to make someone happy, ESPECIALLY a friend... because that's how I wish others would treat me.
The way I see things, in order for Darcy to like a girl enough to bring her around to meet his friends and family, she has to be dope. She has to be cool. She has to be worth it.
That's too long of a haul to bring a mean bitch.
And so... I embraced her like I would a long lost friend... not literally... I think I shook her hand, if I'm not mistaken... but I treated her like I treat... Darcy.
With all the pain in my heart--because it's so much easier to just hate someone without knowing them, especially a girl chosen over you-- I allowed myself to see the vault of chill vibes she was bringing... and it was worth it.
I'm sure this would have never happened with a Latina... because we can sense another woman interested in our dude from a mile away... like some fucking sharks sensing blood from an injured animal, we maul that bitch... homegirl would have ripped me to shreds.
But no, "BabyBennet" was far cooler than I could have imagined. She was funny, smart, humble, nice, and down to try anything. She was not needy... or snarky... or possessive... she was chill.
She gained my respect and friendship.
She's amazing. And you look happy. Good job. That makes me happy. Honestly.
WHY?!
No.
::Sigh::
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Emotional break down, or acceptance... or a combination?
I'm not trying to be a martyr, it's just the way I am-- I try to reason shit out and often, sympathize.
I'm not brown-nosing, I find no use in falsely flattering anyone. When I compliment, I mean it... wholeheartedly... there's no hidden intent behind it.
When I don't give a shit, I don't even bother. No, I won't just be quiet-- I often care when I'm quiet-- but I WILL pick up and leave... just so I don't have to deal.
This entry was bound to happen, I mean, I've known since December.
Darcy and his girl.
Darcy has a girl, and once again, it isn't me.
Raised your hand if you're surprised. Ha.
Trust me, I've cried this one out numerous times by now.
I could get into the cruel specifics behind the tears... but that just makes me angry now.
Just know that for the last six months, a particular asshole has been making me cry thanks to his insensitive, inconsiderate comments. Trying to make me "snap out of it" or whatever.
When I learned that Darcy would be returning home for a break, I was happy... then of course, that certain idiot very abruptly and crudely informed me Darcy would be returning with his girl... a wife, to be exact. Boy... did I cry!
My trip abroad helped clear my mind... for the most part, since there will always be something to remind me of Darcy... every day... but at least I was smiling and laughing and exploring.
And then I returned to face the harsh reality.
The two weeks leading to Darcy's return were spent crying. Every single day. Crying and dreading the moment I'd have to see... both of them. Crying and dreading and lamenting... and trying to carry on like a normal person.
Cry it all out now... so when you have to face them, you'll be normal... get it all out now.
This, of course, is something I could have completely avoided in the eyes of many people... it's not like I was being forced to see them. It was entirely my choice to be exposed to this truth... this fact.
But you see... he's my friend. We are friends. It's not his fault he can't like me in the sense I wish he did. And I hadn't seen him in a year. And he's my friend. I appreciate him.
And then I met her.
I had to laugh to myself... at the coincidences in life-- her name happens to be the same name as one of the Bennet sister's on Pride and Prejudice. Of course Life would work out this way. Silly Life.
Often I hear girls hate on their "rivals"-- it's one of the reasons I tend to avoid girls. The cattiness is despicable, but so fucking contagious. I'm not immune to cattiness, even if naturally I'm chill... and kind until the person provides me with a reason NOT to be.
I could easily have taken a hostile stance... sat there and hated on everything from her choice in clothing, hairstyle, lifestyle... what else do broads hate on each other on? The way we speak? The way we apply makeup? Oh yeah, the way we SMILE?
Or I could have completely ignored her... I don't know this bitch. I don't have to talk to her! I find MANY girls apply this trick to me.
OR I could have just gone psycho... just found any dumb excuse to start brawling... girls are known to do that too.
I could have also just sat there and busted out crying... very AnoMALIE-esque.
But NO. I'm AnoMALIE. I'm FRIENDLY. And I'm nice. And I'm kind. And I will do anything in my power to make others feel comfortable, especially friends. I will do everything in my power to make someone happy, ESPECIALLY a friend... because that's how I wish others would treat me.
The way I see things, in order for Darcy to like a girl enough to bring her around to meet his friends and family, she has to be dope. She has to be cool. She has to be worth it.
That's too long of a haul to bring a mean bitch.
And so... I embraced her like I would a long lost friend... not literally... I think I shook her hand, if I'm not mistaken... but I treated her like I treat... Darcy.
With all the pain in my heart--because it's so much easier to just hate someone without knowing them, especially a girl chosen over you-- I allowed myself to see the vault of chill vibes she was bringing... and it was worth it.
I'm sure this would have never happened with a Latina... because we can sense another woman interested in our dude from a mile away... like some fucking sharks sensing blood from an injured animal, we maul that bitch... homegirl would have ripped me to shreds.
But no, "BabyBennet" was far cooler than I could have imagined. She was funny, smart, humble, nice, and down to try anything. She was not needy... or snarky... or possessive... she was chill.
She gained my respect and friendship.
She's amazing. And you look happy. Good job. That makes me happy. Honestly.
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