Guy 1: "One day, you will be rewarded for that heart of gold that you own."
Guy 2: "You are extraordinary."
This week, I heard that.
Of course I cried.
I cried because I don't feel extraordinary.
I cried because deep in my heart I KNOW I won't be "rewarded." My heart is not gold, or titanium, or even iron-- it's coal... an energy source which is consumed for the generation of cooler shit.
I cried because I had never taken the time to notice how convinced I am of the contrary of what I am being told.
Some days I can laugh and smile and joke around...
Other days I just want to curl up into a ball under the covers, and cry until my eyes swell shut... those days I just want to be invisible.
I feel like garbage.
I want to be numb again.
Guy 2: "You are extraordinary."
This week, I heard that.
Of course I cried.
I cried because I don't feel extraordinary.
I cried because deep in my heart I KNOW I won't be "rewarded." My heart is not gold, or titanium, or even iron-- it's coal... an energy source which is consumed for the generation of cooler shit.
I cried because I had never taken the time to notice how convinced I am of the contrary of what I am being told.
Some days I can laugh and smile and joke around...
Other days I just want to curl up into a ball under the covers, and cry until my eyes swell shut... those days I just want to be invisible.
I feel like garbage.
I want to be numb again.
1 comment:
You are extraordinary.
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