Sunday, July 6, 2014

Ha-ha! I beat you!

Yesterday at the Quince, I was seated next to my youngest male (first) cousin.
I still remember when he was born, and I especially remember when we went to go visit him for the first time after he and his mom were discharged from the hospital.
This was 1993.
During his baby stage, and toddlerhood, I was his favorite person aside from his mom. I could make that baby laugh with almost anything, and I could also make him stop crying almost immediately.
Then he went to school... and he became withdrawn.
He's very thin, and regardless of what he does, he just can't gain weight. This has made him the target of much bullying and ridicule, even from his own family.
Like many bullied kids, he was forced to gain a personality... a sense of humor.
Hmm... sounds familiar...
My humor comes from my dad. My cousin's humor comes from his dad. Our dads are siblings.
SO, guess who rebuilt their tight bond...

For a good three hours, my 20 year old cousin and I caught up on life... about 15 years of it.
I learned he took French in high school... which made me realize he went to MY high school.
WAIT?! At MY high school?! Since when?! God, I'm a horrible cousin!
I learned he hated high school.
Please tell me you love college...
I learned he loves college, since it's a huge difference from the high school bullshit.

I tried giving him advice. I told him not to be in a rush to get things done, to instead be sure he loves what he is doing. I told him to explore. I told him my biggest regret about college was not traveling... not seeing the world... and majoring in something I did not love.

I loved seeing his little eyes twinkle when I'd say something that surprised him, in a good way. Apparently he thought I was a total shy wallflower with no personality... which is fair enough, since he hardly ever hear me speak after he was about five year old. Can't blame him for suspecting I'm that quiet girl who is only quiet because she can't form any type of opinion.
I felt sad thinking this poor kid knew so very little about me (he actually refuses to get a Facebook. I told him I have crazy respect for those who have cut ties with social networks), and that I knew so little about him... when our relationship started off running, practically from the moment he exited the womb.

There was ONE story which upset me... in the sense that it pissed me off.
He told me about the day our mutual cousin, C, announced her pregnancy back on Christmas last year.
I told him how D and I had to hear the story from my brother, on FB messenger, because D and I were in Mexico for a wedding.
"I heard that my dad was frozen in disbelief... and that the rest of you had no idea what was going on until Vickie (our littlest cousin who is 17) screamed out 'OH MY GOD! YOU'RE PREGNANT!" I said.
"Ha. Oh yeah... she did say that. All I really remember is that I was in a different room from where the action was happening. I was there with my mom and your mom... and I just remember my aunt (my dad's IDIOT youngest sister... the idiot who asked for a house a few weeks ago... A HOUSE!) going up to your mom and saying (while pointing at Mom's face) 'HA-HA! I BEAT YOU AT BEING A GRANDMA!'" he said.
I felt my blood boil.
"Oh yeah! I remember Rafa told me! I didn't know she made it that public, though..." I said.
"Yeah, it was THE FIRST thing out of her mouth. It was... odd," my cousin said that last part while raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes as large as possible.

Our conversation changed to a different topic, but I held on to that anger that I felt brewing inside me.
It ruined my night (well, you know, besides my whole crazy low self-esteem/social anxiety/depression issues. This shit added "rage" to the mix).

The fact that my cousin only remembers my aunt saying this shit to my mother tells me this is something his family must have discussed at his house... and not in a good way. No, I don't think they talked shit about my mom, but quite the contrary... they must have talked about what a crazy idiot sister my dad and his dad must have... to be more concerned about BEATING my mom at something rather than the fact that she was going to BE A FUCKING GRANDMOTHER.
Maaaaaaybe they might have laughed a little.

My mother must have been fuming about the whole issue when it happened.
I brought it up to her today, and she looked... sad. She did not look angry or annoyed... just SAD.
So, I did what I do best: I turn snobby and cunt-astic.
"Next time we see her, I want you to point in her face, laugh, and say 'HA-HA! ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN ARE COLLEGE GRADUATES!' or 'HA-HA! MY HUSBAND IS NOT AN UNEMPLOYED LAZY ALCOHOLIC!' or 'HA-HA! NONE OF MY CHILDREN ARE DIVORCED!' I give you permission, Mom, I'll back you up. I'm done being nice."
She only smiled.
:(

I hate bitches publicly mocking my momma, making her feel bad. Poor lady.
Cry all the way to the bank, Momma, all the way to the fucking bank.

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