My life is composed of very fucking random episodes.
Some episodes are violent and aggressive.
Other episodes are heartbreaking.
A number of episodes are so hilarious, you could swear they were fiction.
But there's always this strange... full-circle effect. There is always one tiny detail unifying it all somehow.
"Your writing is very... unique. You manage to make successful connections between some very seemingly disparate things," a college professor once wrote on one of my essays.
***
July 7th, 2014
Amazing lightning strikes opaqued the brilliance of the Vegas skyline.
Rain poured against my Q7's windshield.
So much relaxed laughter.
Random, aimless driving through the wet streets, many which I was seeing for the first time.
Reminiscing. Catching up.
A single, unexpected red chrysanthemum firework going off on the side of the freeway.
Me: Woah!
Him: What?
Me: You didn't see that?
Him: What?
Me: A firework right down there just now.
Him: A firework...
Me: Someone refuses to accept The Fourth was... three days ago.
I pulled at the end of my side braid, which rested below my armpit.
July 3rd, 2007
The skies were cloudy and the climate was muggy.
I was nervous. It was awkward.
We stood outside of my 4Runner.
Him: Did you see that?
Me: What?
Him: Some dumbass is blowing up fireworks right now.
Me: Where?... I don't see them.
I nervously scratched the back of my exposed neck, still not accustomed to my bob-haircut.
Things definitely didn't work out back then... which of course, bummed me out-- rejection is never fun, but was also expected (I was at my fattest... or nearing it). I totally understood.
However, time only revealed something cooler.
Yeah, things weren't meant to be romantic, but throughout the years, our friendship definitely became one of my favorites.
He never had to write me an anthology when bothered with my issues... sometimes a word or two sufficed. One song suggestion or another would help sooth my pain for months... some have worked for years now.
Last night as I laughed in the passenger seat of my car for two hours, allowing my friend to drive wherever he pleased, I realized our friendship is undoubtedly the best thing that could have happened between us. It's a legit comfortable, effortless friendship that I don't normally experience with other dudes. I can only bet on all of that ease being nonexistent had he given me a shot seven years ago.
Instead of the awkwardness and more-than-likely resentment (from my part, obviously. I am always the resentful ex), I get to discuss how shitty life can be to both us, mid-laugh-attack... because that's how life works.
Seven years ago I was too nervous, uncomfortable, and self-conscious to notice the evening's fireworks display in the middle of a movie theater's parking lot... but yesterday I was gifted a single, perfectly fired chrysanthemum by some redneck who refused to accept Independence Day was three days gone, at the exact moment my vehicle sped by on the freeway on a rainy summer night.
All in the company of this guy.
No, no romantic little love story to see here... but certainly an enduring friendship that constantly slaps a smile on my face, and renders me tranquilized.
What more could I ask for?
(I wrote about setting up that first hangout the day before it went down. I literally ended my entry that day with "20 bucks we end up being just friends." Ha. Haha.)
Some episodes are violent and aggressive.
Other episodes are heartbreaking.
A number of episodes are so hilarious, you could swear they were fiction.
But there's always this strange... full-circle effect. There is always one tiny detail unifying it all somehow.
"Your writing is very... unique. You manage to make successful connections between some very seemingly disparate things," a college professor once wrote on one of my essays.
***
July 7th, 2014
Amazing lightning strikes opaqued the brilliance of the Vegas skyline.
Rain poured against my Q7's windshield.
So much relaxed laughter.
Random, aimless driving through the wet streets, many which I was seeing for the first time.
Reminiscing. Catching up.
A single, unexpected red chrysanthemum firework going off on the side of the freeway.
Me: Woah!
Him: What?
Me: You didn't see that?
Him: What?
Me: A firework right down there just now.
Him: A firework...
Me: Someone refuses to accept The Fourth was... three days ago.
I pulled at the end of my side braid, which rested below my armpit.
July 3rd, 2007
The skies were cloudy and the climate was muggy.
I was nervous. It was awkward.
We stood outside of my 4Runner.
Him: Did you see that?
Me: What?
Him: Some dumbass is blowing up fireworks right now.
Me: Where?... I don't see them.
I nervously scratched the back of my exposed neck, still not accustomed to my bob-haircut.
Things definitely didn't work out back then... which of course, bummed me out-- rejection is never fun, but was also expected (I was at my fattest... or nearing it). I totally understood.
However, time only revealed something cooler.
Yeah, things weren't meant to be romantic, but throughout the years, our friendship definitely became one of my favorites.
He never had to write me an anthology when bothered with my issues... sometimes a word or two sufficed. One song suggestion or another would help sooth my pain for months... some have worked for years now.
Last night as I laughed in the passenger seat of my car for two hours, allowing my friend to drive wherever he pleased, I realized our friendship is undoubtedly the best thing that could have happened between us. It's a legit comfortable, effortless friendship that I don't normally experience with other dudes. I can only bet on all of that ease being nonexistent had he given me a shot seven years ago.
Instead of the awkwardness and more-than-likely resentment (from my part, obviously. I am always the resentful ex), I get to discuss how shitty life can be to both us, mid-laugh-attack... because that's how life works.
Seven years ago I was too nervous, uncomfortable, and self-conscious to notice the evening's fireworks display in the middle of a movie theater's parking lot... but yesterday I was gifted a single, perfectly fired chrysanthemum by some redneck who refused to accept Independence Day was three days gone, at the exact moment my vehicle sped by on the freeway on a rainy summer night.
All in the company of this guy.
No, no romantic little love story to see here... but certainly an enduring friendship that constantly slaps a smile on my face, and renders me tranquilized.
What more could I ask for?
(I wrote about setting up that first hangout the day before it went down. I literally ended my entry that day with "20 bucks we end up being just friends." Ha. Haha.)
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