These first couple of months are the busiest I am throughout the year.
I do all of the on-line bullshit required for my dad's businesses... for free.
This on-line back and forth with various entities has me logging in and out of my dad's personal e-mail account... because that's how he wants it to be done.
I think it was last year where I had that unpleasant surprise of the Cuban hussy who'd email my dad shady shit.
This year I had a different surprise.
Today, as I went to my dad's email (on his insistence. I never just think to myself "I haven't checked my dad's email... let's see if there's anything FOR ME." He usually says something to the effect of "I got something in the mail about that thing," which of course, frustrates the fucking shit out of me. Could he be any more vague?), I saw his Mexican buddy-- the one from Cancun-- had emailed him.
Dude, I cried.
It's one thing to have strangers, and even so-called friends... even distant relatives talk shit... but another entirely when I catch my close ones talking shit.
There, in front of my eyes, was a discussion about ME... their concern for my lack of motivation. How I NEED to choose something to study.
Need to? I'm sorry, but if I'm not mistaken, I DID study something... something I fucking hated and that made me physically sick for so many years of my life. I vomited, cried, and stressed to the point of losing my hair, all the way to a degree in Biology. Give me a fucking break.
I HATE how my dad speaks of me as if I were some fucking... high school drop out. Some fucking burn out. The worst fucking failure to exist in the entire family tree.
Maybe I did burn out... but that was AFTER I completed what I set out to do: get that fucking science degree to hand to my folks and finally say "I'm DONE."
But I guess the fact that I'm a girl who doesn't work OR is involved in a promising relationship means I failed at life.
And I totally feel that's pretty damn valid and true.
But you know... sometimes a girl gets tired of pleasing others. So damn tired.
I could be having a fucking amazing week, where all I have been doing has been smiling (that's all I've ever wanted in my fucking life. I just want a goddamn reason to smile. Ever. Fucking EVER)... and then someone like my dad goes off and depresses the fucking shit out of me.
My sister flies in tonight, so HEY! Brave face, everyone!
I do all of the on-line bullshit required for my dad's businesses... for free.
This on-line back and forth with various entities has me logging in and out of my dad's personal e-mail account... because that's how he wants it to be done.
I think it was last year where I had that unpleasant surprise of the Cuban hussy who'd email my dad shady shit.
This year I had a different surprise.
Today, as I went to my dad's email (on his insistence. I never just think to myself "I haven't checked my dad's email... let's see if there's anything FOR ME." He usually says something to the effect of "I got something in the mail about that thing," which of course, frustrates the fucking shit out of me. Could he be any more vague?), I saw his Mexican buddy-- the one from Cancun-- had emailed him.
Dude, I cried.
It's one thing to have strangers, and even so-called friends... even distant relatives talk shit... but another entirely when I catch my close ones talking shit.
There, in front of my eyes, was a discussion about ME... their concern for my lack of motivation. How I NEED to choose something to study.
Need to? I'm sorry, but if I'm not mistaken, I DID study something... something I fucking hated and that made me physically sick for so many years of my life. I vomited, cried, and stressed to the point of losing my hair, all the way to a degree in Biology. Give me a fucking break.
I HATE how my dad speaks of me as if I were some fucking... high school drop out. Some fucking burn out. The worst fucking failure to exist in the entire family tree.
Maybe I did burn out... but that was AFTER I completed what I set out to do: get that fucking science degree to hand to my folks and finally say "I'm DONE."
But I guess the fact that I'm a girl who doesn't work OR is involved in a promising relationship means I failed at life.
And I totally feel that's pretty damn valid and true.
But you know... sometimes a girl gets tired of pleasing others. So damn tired.
I could be having a fucking amazing week, where all I have been doing has been smiling (that's all I've ever wanted in my fucking life. I just want a goddamn reason to smile. Ever. Fucking EVER)... and then someone like my dad goes off and depresses the fucking shit out of me.
My sister flies in tonight, so HEY! Brave face, everyone!
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