Damn it! I wanted to post every day this month, to keep from ignoring it all like I did last year, and I did a decent job... for three days.
I knocked the fuck out yesterday after shopping.
Well, not really shopping, I just went to Walgreens to get a passport photo taken of me... which, by the way, came out as all passport photos do: like trash. I don't know a soul who has a good passport photo... everyone ends up looking like a criminal.
In my first photo, back in 2006, I looked like a porky, overly excited girl. The photo should not have been allowed, since there are shadows in it, my face is sort of obstructed, I'm smiling like I was just told the best news in the history of the planet, my eyes are semi-closed, and my ears are not visible (did ya know that's one of the points officers inconspicuously check? They suuuure do. You're welcome). It was a shitty photo.
In this new photo, I look like a sad, somewhat scared criminal about to be handed her orange jumpsuit-- a criminal who had been running from the cops for months, chopped her own hair, and dyed it in the bathroom of a motel room. That's what I fucking look like in this new photo I'll be parading for the next ten years. It is a shitty photo.
(Can't say I'm shocked, 'tis the AnoMALIE Way)
All of this nonsense is draining to me. Having to get a photograph taken of me is very emotionally draining for me-- comes with the territory of being psychologically/emotionally/verbally fucked since the age of almost-five.
"Let me take a photo of you" is pretty much equivalent to "Let me saw off this limb from you."
I get my teeth drilled much more willingly than I pose for a photo.
This brings me to the photo experience of my trip.
Since I took both my mother and my aunt to my favorite cities, I went all out taking photos of THEM.
Despite my reluctance to take photos, I enjoy taking photos of others... because I try my best to get their best angle.
This obviously stems from my own dislike of photos of ME, because for the most part, I come out unflattering as fuck. So, when I photograph others, I tell them to trust me, I'll get a good shot of them... I'll fucking stalk them until I do.
So I got plenty of rad shots of these little ladies.
Of myself? I wish I could put my favorite shot on here... it's me at the London Eye. I asked my mother to take a photo of me (imagine that! Imagine how much I liked that scene, where I wanted to be captured IN it!)... and when I looked at it, I almost threw my phone in the Thames.
It is the BLURRIEST MOTHERFUCKING PHOTO EVER.
I looked at Mom and burst out laughing, "What the fuck is this? How the fuck does this even happen? The fuck is this shit...? Man, forget it. You're terrible."
So I must settle for selfies, where my true solitary nature shines in all of its depressing glory.
Surrounded by people, yet still isolated.
C'est la vie.
I knocked the fuck out yesterday after shopping.
Well, not really shopping, I just went to Walgreens to get a passport photo taken of me... which, by the way, came out as all passport photos do: like trash. I don't know a soul who has a good passport photo... everyone ends up looking like a criminal.
In my first photo, back in 2006, I looked like a porky, overly excited girl. The photo should not have been allowed, since there are shadows in it, my face is sort of obstructed, I'm smiling like I was just told the best news in the history of the planet, my eyes are semi-closed, and my ears are not visible (did ya know that's one of the points officers inconspicuously check? They suuuure do. You're welcome). It was a shitty photo.
In this new photo, I look like a sad, somewhat scared criminal about to be handed her orange jumpsuit-- a criminal who had been running from the cops for months, chopped her own hair, and dyed it in the bathroom of a motel room. That's what I fucking look like in this new photo I'll be parading for the next ten years. It is a shitty photo.
(Can't say I'm shocked, 'tis the AnoMALIE Way)
All of this nonsense is draining to me. Having to get a photograph taken of me is very emotionally draining for me-- comes with the territory of being psychologically/emotionally/verbally fucked since the age of almost-five.
"Let me take a photo of you" is pretty much equivalent to "Let me saw off this limb from you."
I get my teeth drilled much more willingly than I pose for a photo.
This brings me to the photo experience of my trip.
Since I took both my mother and my aunt to my favorite cities, I went all out taking photos of THEM.
Despite my reluctance to take photos, I enjoy taking photos of others... because I try my best to get their best angle.
This obviously stems from my own dislike of photos of ME, because for the most part, I come out unflattering as fuck. So, when I photograph others, I tell them to trust me, I'll get a good shot of them... I'll fucking stalk them until I do.
So I got plenty of rad shots of these little ladies.
Of myself? I wish I could put my favorite shot on here... it's me at the London Eye. I asked my mother to take a photo of me (imagine that! Imagine how much I liked that scene, where I wanted to be captured IN it!)... and when I looked at it, I almost threw my phone in the Thames.
It is the BLURRIEST MOTHERFUCKING PHOTO EVER.
I looked at Mom and burst out laughing, "What the fuck is this? How the fuck does this even happen? The fuck is this shit...? Man, forget it. You're terrible."
So I must settle for selfies, where my true solitary nature shines in all of its depressing glory.
Surrounded by people, yet still isolated.
C'est la vie.
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