I am more than ready to throw in the towel.
I am overwhelmed as fuck.
But I have chosen not to freak out.
Well... you know... being ME, I did have a mini freak out session yesterday, and I'm sort of working through a sort-of panic-attack as I type this (hours ago, my chest felt like it was going to explode, now it's just a tiny sense of heaviness where I have to breathe slowly).
My bestie's words from the other night (we were discussing someone who is hellbent on convincing herself that her life is the absolute fucking worst... which it is not) stuck with me:
"forced to put one foot in front of the other."
As tough as shit seems to be... as overwhelming as it may seem at the moment, you just have to force yourself to move forward... one step at a time.
There are currently so many things being chucked at me-- lost social security card, fucked up driver's license renewal, fucked up face, Lenten promises that are fucking with my mood, racist-ass presumptuous voters who ARE ALSO MY NEIGHBORS at an even more fucked up sham of a caucus, pending payment for an expensive birthday-getaway... the list goes on. SO many fucking stressors are currently building up to fuck me up.
I could sit in my room, lay in bed, heaving my head off...
Or I can put one fucking foot in front of the other and detangle this bullshit that is... life. Approach life one problem at a time-- solve each piece of shit to the best of my ability.
So today, I decided to forgo the process for the reissuing of my SS card, and instead went to renew my driver's license-- RealID be damned.
Twenty-three dollars down the drain, but one fucking less headache to deal with (I looked like fucking trash... the DMV was a giant mess... my fucking number was skipped within THIRTY SECONDS of being called...nearly failing the vision portion of my renewal--I'm fucking blind, guys! My right eye is a mess-- but unexpectedly a really cute, YOUNG, UNLV student was immediately smitten with my disheveled-looking-ass, so, in AnoMALIELAND, it all balanced out).
I'll have to get a new license that meets federal standards... but that's until October of 2020... so WHO GIVES A FUCK? I'll more than likely look like complete garbage on ALL OF MY IDs, but who gives a fuck?! That's just the fucking stage of life I'm at... oh well.
Ok, so ONE problem down... many more to go.
Next up is paying my birthday trip bullshit tomorrow. It's via a method I've never done before... so... I'm anxious AS FUCK, because I'm paranoid about everything and anything that involves spending more than $50.
The day after that is my trip to the Social Security offices.
How did I get here, man? It's like I'm fucking 70 years old.
I am overwhelmed as fuck.
But I have chosen not to freak out.
Well... you know... being ME, I did have a mini freak out session yesterday, and I'm sort of working through a sort-of panic-attack as I type this (hours ago, my chest felt like it was going to explode, now it's just a tiny sense of heaviness where I have to breathe slowly).
My bestie's words from the other night (we were discussing someone who is hellbent on convincing herself that her life is the absolute fucking worst... which it is not) stuck with me:
"forced to put one foot in front of the other."
As tough as shit seems to be... as overwhelming as it may seem at the moment, you just have to force yourself to move forward... one step at a time.
There are currently so many things being chucked at me-- lost social security card, fucked up driver's license renewal, fucked up face, Lenten promises that are fucking with my mood, racist-ass presumptuous voters who ARE ALSO MY NEIGHBORS at an even more fucked up sham of a caucus, pending payment for an expensive birthday-getaway... the list goes on. SO many fucking stressors are currently building up to fuck me up.
I could sit in my room, lay in bed, heaving my head off...
Or I can put one fucking foot in front of the other and detangle this bullshit that is... life. Approach life one problem at a time-- solve each piece of shit to the best of my ability.
So today, I decided to forgo the process for the reissuing of my SS card, and instead went to renew my driver's license-- RealID be damned.
Twenty-three dollars down the drain, but one fucking less headache to deal with (I looked like fucking trash... the DMV was a giant mess... my fucking number was skipped within THIRTY SECONDS of being called...nearly failing the vision portion of my renewal--I'm fucking blind, guys! My right eye is a mess-- but unexpectedly a really cute, YOUNG, UNLV student was immediately smitten with my disheveled-looking-ass, so, in AnoMALIELAND, it all balanced out).
I'll have to get a new license that meets federal standards... but that's until October of 2020... so WHO GIVES A FUCK? I'll more than likely look like complete garbage on ALL OF MY IDs, but who gives a fuck?! That's just the fucking stage of life I'm at... oh well.
Ok, so ONE problem down... many more to go.
Next up is paying my birthday trip bullshit tomorrow. It's via a method I've never done before... so... I'm anxious AS FUCK, because I'm paranoid about everything and anything that involves spending more than $50.
The day after that is my trip to the Social Security offices.
How did I get here, man? It's like I'm fucking 70 years old.
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