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So... I think this was the break I was asking for.
In other news, my middle school buddy published her book about four days ago. I wasn't aware of this until today, since I had been told it wasn't going to happen for another ten days.
I purchased the book, of course.
I am insanely jealous... obviously, since this is something I've wanted for almost 10 years (it is so fucking horrible to think Creative Writing was that long ago... what the fuck?!), and I haven't done SHIT.
I've been keeping journals since first grade, when my teachers forced me for my writing's sake. It was that latent love I wasn't aware I possessed until the day I first attended that writing class in college... just so I'd have something to do during my giant break between science classes, all while still in the company of my bestie. Something I did for so fucking long, and what unwittingly kept me holding on during those difficult years... those difficult times.
And I was a fucking snob and hated all over my friend's rough draft like a jealous cunt... and flipped when I found out she was actually going to publish.
Jealous because I didn't have the drive or courage to put my shit out there like this friend does.
Here, you have this fucking thing that I keep from pretty much EVERYONE... my other online journal, the popular one, the one I've had for 12 years is locked so only I can read it after all the horrible fights and drama that it inspired (no, seriously... there was some BAAAAAD shit on there). I do not possess the fucking ovaries to say "This is my shit. Go on. Say what the fuck you want. But it's MINE. And I like it. Fuck you." I cower and cross my fingers that I'm STILL that quiet fly on the wall.
But, while I still think that it's uh... something I'm not generally down for (the genre... the subject matter. I'm too cynical for it), I will still support her. Because she has a great, tender heart... she's a badass... and she's brave as fuck.
I'll quit being jealous... pinch myself when I feel it creeping up on me.
Best of luck to this wonderful, kind woman.
In other news, my middle school buddy published her book about four days ago. I wasn't aware of this until today, since I had been told it wasn't going to happen for another ten days.
I purchased the book, of course.
I am insanely jealous... obviously, since this is something I've wanted for almost 10 years (it is so fucking horrible to think Creative Writing was that long ago... what the fuck?!), and I haven't done SHIT.
I've been keeping journals since first grade, when my teachers forced me for my writing's sake. It was that latent love I wasn't aware I possessed until the day I first attended that writing class in college... just so I'd have something to do during my giant break between science classes, all while still in the company of my bestie. Something I did for so fucking long, and what unwittingly kept me holding on during those difficult years... those difficult times.
And I was a fucking snob and hated all over my friend's rough draft like a jealous cunt... and flipped when I found out she was actually going to publish.
Jealous because I didn't have the drive or courage to put my shit out there like this friend does.
Here, you have this fucking thing that I keep from pretty much EVERYONE... my other online journal, the popular one, the one I've had for 12 years is locked so only I can read it after all the horrible fights and drama that it inspired (no, seriously... there was some BAAAAAD shit on there). I do not possess the fucking ovaries to say "This is my shit. Go on. Say what the fuck you want. But it's MINE. And I like it. Fuck you." I cower and cross my fingers that I'm STILL that quiet fly on the wall.
But, while I still think that it's uh... something I'm not generally down for (the genre... the subject matter. I'm too cynical for it), I will still support her. Because she has a great, tender heart... she's a badass... and she's brave as fuck.
I'll quit being jealous... pinch myself when I feel it creeping up on me.
Best of luck to this wonderful, kind woman.
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