Monday, April 28, 2014

Shitstain

That cop-out, that fucking ire-inducing cop-out:
I was drunk.

... Yes. You get a fucking pass for "being drunk."
You're so drunk and unable to control your actions, you go about and wreck shit, and humiliate others, mistreat others... but OH! Shit! WAIT! HE WAS DRUNK! He didn't know what he was doing! It wasn't REALLY "him" doing it... it was the drunk alter ego... he's not REALLY like that, so let's not hold it against him. Let's sweep it all under the rug and hope he doesn't target you again the next time (probably tomorrow) he gets inebriated... you know, when he gets "awesome" and hilarious and cool... because he's so fucking cool when he's drunk... he's FUCKING HILARIOUS.

No. Fuck you. Fuck that shit.

You know what gets me to "black out" and "not be myself" and lose control? Rage. It doesn't happen often... but there are those rare moments, where I am SO infuriated, I am completely BLINDED by rage.
So... with your drunk logic... I can FUCK SHIT UP... and I mean, I will fucking DESTROY things as well as PEOPLE... but see, I was BLINDED by my angry episode... I wasn't really ME... I was just really, REALLY angry and that shit overrode any logic in my head.
So I get a free pass, right? I punched holes through your walls, broke your fragile shit, and smashed your face against the hardest surface I could find... but it's ok, because that wasn't really me, I was just REALLY REALLY angry... like the Hulk.
That thing I did to your eye? Well, isn't that just ever so unsightly... and I'm sure it sucks for YOU to walk around with it... but see, I supposedly (ah, yes, "supposedly"... I LOVE that word. I fucking LOVE when drunks drop that word. FUCK having any sort of accountability... I mean, can anyone REALLY PROVE they did/said what you're claiming? "Supposedly"... beautiful word, really) did that while in that blinding fit of rage... you can't really hold ME accountable for doing that to you... because I DON'T REMEMBER doing that to you... so... it didn't really happen.
I mean, you KNOW the REAL me... I'm a pleasant, quiet little girl who is too scared to even hold eye-contact with you. That ugly angry episode was just... a bad moment... a rarity... so... free pass, right? And no, no apology, because REMEMBER, I DON'T RECALL ANY of this ever happening... so... I don't feel like I'm the one who needs to apologize... maybe next time HulkAnoMALIE shows up, you'll force an apology out of her.

Fuck that.
If I were to injure anyone in my fit of rage, I'd be doing jail time. If I fucked up people's possessions, I'd be sued for the damages. I'd be HELD ACCOUNTABLE... regardless of whether or not I remembered ever doing any of it.

It isn't funny. It isn't cool. It isn't... it isn't worth being around.
Excuse me while I label you persona non grata and keep my fucking distance... because I hear shit smears quickly, and quite frankly, I could do with one less fucking shitstain in my life.

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