I don't even need drugs

I'm out of it.

So out of it.

I started the day off by getting in the shower with my sweat pants still on.
When I realized it, I kind of just sat there... and left them on.
Fuck. It.
They needed to be cleaned anyway.
I had forgotten how much I hate the feeling of wet clothes.
After I was out and the pants were in the dryer, I thought about how funny it'd be to take a picture for my blog... but once again, let me reiterate, I'm out of it.

Then, as Little Sister and I had breakfast/lunch (brunch?) at P.F. Changs, I almost gave the waitress a $25 dollar tip, confusing a 20 for one of my singles.
Little Sister caught me on that one... or else, not only would I be out of it... I'd be BROKE and out of it.
I also dropped my chopsticks under the table... I felt like a moron and had to eat my slippery, steamed vegetable dumpling with a fork, like some wanker.

We then visited Mom and Dad at the hospital (more on this later).
Supposedly we were taking Mom lunch, yet I forgot it in the car.
It was cold as shit, it didn't help that we were practically hanging out at Red Rock, but being the good daughter I am, I sent Little Sister to go get it (you didn't think I was going to get it, having a younger sibling at arm's reach, did you?).

I visited Dad from 1:30 to 6, and most of the time... I'd either say "Huh?" each time Dad said something in his groggy voice... or I'd completely ignore him.
I spaced the fuck out for most of my stay (I did accidentally harm him when he asked me to lift him up... he gave me the elbow that had been used to draw blood, how the hell was I supposed to know? I felt like a dipshit when I saw his little elbow bleeding once I put him down).

At 6:15 I left for church on the opposite side of town.
I cut off two cars... one of the times really pissing off one of the drivers who sped up to me to scream some bull... all I did was look over him and do my "What, motherfucker?!" pose (you know, you spread your arms out like a gangster and cock your head up) while mouthing those exact words, making sure to accentuate the "F" by really pressing down on my bottom lip with my incisors... and he left me alone. I guess he was expecting a nice soccer mom and not a spaced out ex-hoodrat.

At church... I don't know what I did... I was zoning out, once again... I didn't follow directions as well as I usually do... I'd remain kneeling for a long while... I'd be the last one to sit down, that kind of stuff.

Coming home I cut off another cholo... he tried catching up to me in his hooptie, but once I noticed it, I sort of feared for my life (and my bottom lip doesn't like it when I so angrily scream "motherfucker" at more than one person in one day) and gunned it until my exit came up.

However, as spaced out and retarded as I may have been, nothing beats Dad when I visited him.
For the first three hours, he was so out of it... that his morphine-induced hallucinations were cracking me up!

1) He told the nurses that he had three daughters (I'm sure Older Brother won't be too glad about that).
2) He was complaining to me about how mean the nurses were, and as he was about to tell me what one of them did to him last night, he just went blank and didn't say a word for about a minute... then he came back and completely changed the subject.
3) When his surgeon came in (this was embarrassing more than it was funny) Dad said "Can I tell you something? When I first met you, I thought you looked like a bum! But now you look so rich and professional!" (God, find me a hole I can crawl into and die!!!)
4) He made a "pee-pee" song he'd say so that Little Sister and I could leave the room while he tinkled (he did it to embarrass us out of the room... with great success). I can't remember it very well... all I know is that he somehow worked the words "changuitas" (little monkeys) and "su papi va hacer pipi" (literally: your dad is going to make pee-pee, but meaning "your dad is going to tinkle").
5) He kept talking about what's going to get people into hell.
6) He asked me about Chase out of the blue.
Dad: And Chase, does she know I'm in here?
Me: Umm... yes, Dad, I told her. ??
Dad: (nods)
Me: ...but only her... (well, in person.)
Dad: Why?
Me: Because I'm not close enough with anybody else... ??
Dad: Ah... ok... yes... it's better if only Chase knows.
Me: ???
7) Once again out of the blue, he says "Man, this stuff (the morphine) doesn't let me cry!! I want to cry!!"

After 5PM he was doing better. He hadn't taken any morphine for about 2 hours... so he wasn't acting all crazy.
He traded "crazy" for "cranky," so I left Mom at the hospital to handle him for the rest of the day.

Party at my house tonight!!!
(yeah... right... whatever. I need to study)