The hourglass

My brother was here for only two days before he had to leave for Princeton this morning.

We didn't have much time to bond... just enough time to get attached and sad over the thought that we weren't going to see each other for the next two months.

As he was packing his bags last night, I went over to his room to keep him company (he does this thing... were you know he's sad and wanting to bond... but he doesn't straight up say "Hey, I'm sad about leaving you guys! I'm going to miss you! I want to spend time with you!" He does something like... walk in and out of TravelinDin's room-- where I hang out until I have to go to my own bed to sleep-- then bites our arm... or pulls our leg... or punches our back... or bites our head... or flicks our ear... you get the picture. He's a primitive young fellow. We'll then get irritated and slap him back, or say something like "What the fuck is your problem!?" But after about the seventh time he does this-- or when he starts going into the room to say stuff like "Remember the time we were playing kickball and..." aka when he starts reminiscing, I get the hint and spend time with him. Poor kid never had a brother to rough-house with, I might as well make him feel a little less lonely).
We were lsitening to South Park... because neither of us were watching it--he was packing, I was reading Glamour.
We'd comment on how much I love Butters, and how much he hates him because he's "a retard." Once that was over, I started reading, out-loud, things from the magazine.

Me: Check this: Guys: What's your most surprising turn-on? "I know this sounds weird, but if she loves watching Family Guy, I'm ready to go 24/7."
Bro: LAME!
Me: "Cute feet..." Ewwwww. I hate feet. They're so gross.
::Brother rolls eyes::
Me: "Silver hoop earrings. I'm from Boston, and the hot girls there always wear them. They're synonymous with sexy."... Really? That just says "Hood Rat" to me.
Bro: Hater...
Me: You're telling me hood rats don't rock big hoop earrings? You're telling me that's not the first thing you think of when I say "Hoop earrings?"

Then there was this exchange a little later:

Me: That's BULLSHIT!
Bro: What?
Me: Glamour polled nearly 600 women to reveal what type of body shape they had.
Bro: What's wrong with that?
Me: Ok... 10% said they were an apple... 18% said they were up and down, 24% said they were a pear... and 48% said they were an hourglass!!! Almost half of the people! Bull-fucking-shit!
Bro: Relax... apple...
Me: I AM NOT AN APPLE! I'd fit in American Eagle jeans if I were an apple... with those narrow-ass hips.
Bro: Ok... pear.
Me: I'm NOT flat-chested, damn it!
Bro: What are you?
Me: I'm a... that's besides the point.

Two minutes later, he kicked me out of his room with the excuse that he was sleepy.

I'm starting to see why he prefers to punch and bite us...