Old People Make Me Laugh

I can always depend on someone to cheer me up in the most random way:

(Phone rings)
Me: Hello?
Old Man: Is *Dad* there?
(he's pretty much screaming at me... but not maliciously)

Me: No... he's not home.
Old Man: It's Fred, his cousin... I was just calling to see if he got home all right.
(Still Screaming)

Me: Oh! He got home last night around 9.
Fred: Oh, ok! I was, you know, just making sure he didn't get in a car wreck or died... just worried since he didn't call or anything.... WHO AM I TALKING TO?!
(He seemed to be a little freaked out by now)

Me: AnoMALIE.
Fred: Nuñez?!... Who?
Me: No... AnoMALIE.
Fred: ...
Me: His daughter, AnoMALIE.
Fred: Oh! Gina, his daughter! Ok Gina, just tell your Dad I called.

I love it when they can't get my name right... especially when they're Mexican... and we share the same blood.

Anyway.
Why am I bummed?
Well:
1) I finally got the bridesmaid dress I'm wearing this weekend... it's ugly as fuck... and there's no time to fix it. I'm going to look like a stupid idiot in it.
2) Yesterday, I fell in love, and purchased, the cruelest pair of shoes to wear with that stupid ugly dress. All I have to say is: CARLOS SANTANA! Stick to your music! As beautiful as your shoes may be... they HURT! Why must your color schemes be so magnificent?! I'm spending the rest of the week doing nothing but walking in the damn heels... I've already started to cry.
3) Did I mention the dress is a corseted "tube" top? I'm going to have to wear a strapless bra... and... those things are the fucking stupidest, most useless thing created on the face of the universe... well, at least for anyone above a C cup.
4) Oh yeah... and the corset fits me baggy. Actually, the entire fucking stupid dress fits me baggy. It's just... ill-fitting all-together... but that's what you get when the dumb whore responsible for making your dress measures you ONCE in January, doesn't contact you EVER, then hands over the "finished" product in June... a week before the wedding. Thanks, you stupid imbecile... I'm sure people's bodies don't change in the course of 5 months...