Bullhorn

I'm a good girl. Everybody knows this.
I don't really like this title, and often times, I purposely say incredibly vulgar things in hopes of removing people's blinders when it comes to me.
I'm not saying I'm a huge jerk, or even that people are wrong in their assumption in regards to me, I just don't want them to get alarmed when they see me at the next family function taking a shot at the bar.

Yes, I go to church every Sunday (Saturday, actually, since there's less people there to make me angry with their barbaric behavior), I visited Hometown ever year to take care of my little grandma, I play with kids, I always have a stupid shy smile on my face when spoken to, and more importantly, I don't fuck around with guys (I mean... when's the last time you heard of me dating a boy from Hometown? NEVER. And if I don't date a Hometown boy, then I don't date anyone... right?). I'm fucking saintly! But like every human, I mess up sometimes.
I drink... I get drunk... and I say STUPID things.
I'm also imperfect in the sense that I'm so naive, I always believe other's integrity will be equal to mine.
I rarely sense when people are lying to me, I always think others will keep their word, and I give people the benefit of the doubt.
This naiveté often times gets me in trouble because I'll use my reputation for the benefit of others, and they'll just fuck up... and then I look bad and lose credibility.

Reason I say this: last summer I let two 17 year old girls and one 15 year old boy join my circle of friends in Mexico. They were lonely, and their parents would only let them be out until the sun went down.
Since days seem to go a lot slower and the nights are clear, cool, and balmy, my group chills outside. We dance, sing, play games, and drink under the stars until the wee hours of the night. Typical lazy, fun summer nights.
So I ask their parents for permission to let them hang out with my group, and promise to be responsible and bring them back home in one piece.
Everything's fine and dandy... up until they start getting drunk and start breaking bottles behind the abandoned house we use as home base. We spend a couple of hours trying to sober the morons up, then drive them home.
Word spreads around town about the broken beer bottles and used condoms found behind the old abandoned house.
"What kind of person fucks near broken bottles?"
My group is tight lipped, but super curious about the used condoms. However, we accept that in order to not be accused of the used condoms, we'll have to leave that as one of life's greater mysteries.

Now we move on to last night.
A boy from our Mexico clan posts a music video on FB (of course); it's a song that was crazy popular last summer, a song we sang during our lazy summer nights, a song solely about getting trashed.
He comments: This one goes out to mah boys! Those nights we spent drinking by the house... gettin' twizted!
Stupid, now-18 year old girl comments:
"Hey!!! Dedicate this song to AnoMALIE, 17YOGirl2, Sister, and me too! We were right there with you guys!"

Bam.
Next time, why don't you fucking announce it through a bullhorn, idiot?!
And just like that, the jig is up.

I just want to know who the fuck was using the condoms.