WELL!
I've had some crazy eventful shit occur in the last couple of days... most of which were NOT good... I even had two mini meltdowns.
I did that same thing where I wrote numerous updates, but failed to actually publish... because they were SO angry.
But I'm much better now.
I think it's the built-up angst because 1. My father has yet to fucking communicate with ANYONE. It's STILL upsetting to think about it. I feel dizzy and the urge to vomit when I think of his wellbeing. Then I get angry... because this nonsense is SO irresponsible.
and 2. My Dad's last remaining uncle is on his last leg of life. He's... pretty much just waiting to die. He's in a coma, with kidney failure and I think his lungs collapsed... and he's swollen. It's bad. And sad. And where's my dad? In Cuba, presumably.
I've also had to deal with some ugly words thrown my way... but all I have to do to get over it all is punch and kick for a couple of hours... then all is well with the world once again.
It also helps that in a few hours I head out on my first trip of the year (FINALLY!), my long overdue return to the bay area.
I'm so excited, my heart flutters when I close my eyes and imagine the flower blossoms... and the grass... and the ocean... and my bay area friends.
OH! I hope it all works out for the best.
I hope I don't cry.
I hope everyone stays alive while I'm away...
I've had some crazy eventful shit occur in the last couple of days... most of which were NOT good... I even had two mini meltdowns.
I did that same thing where I wrote numerous updates, but failed to actually publish... because they were SO angry.
But I'm much better now.
I think it's the built-up angst because 1. My father has yet to fucking communicate with ANYONE. It's STILL upsetting to think about it. I feel dizzy and the urge to vomit when I think of his wellbeing. Then I get angry... because this nonsense is SO irresponsible.
and 2. My Dad's last remaining uncle is on his last leg of life. He's... pretty much just waiting to die. He's in a coma, with kidney failure and I think his lungs collapsed... and he's swollen. It's bad. And sad. And where's my dad? In Cuba, presumably.
I've also had to deal with some ugly words thrown my way... but all I have to do to get over it all is punch and kick for a couple of hours... then all is well with the world once again.
It also helps that in a few hours I head out on my first trip of the year (FINALLY!), my long overdue return to the bay area.
I'm so excited, my heart flutters when I close my eyes and imagine the flower blossoms... and the grass... and the ocean... and my bay area friends.
OH! I hope it all works out for the best.
I hope I don't cry.
I hope everyone stays alive while I'm away...
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