Dolls and Dummies, they're all crummy.

Man, I give up on horror movies. I was really looking forward to Dead Silence. It had all the elements needed to freak me out for at least a week:
1) A ventriloquist dummy that comes to life (that Goosebumps book, Night of the Living Dummy, fucked me up pretty good back in 5th grade).
2) Bitter, (dead) old ladies seeking revenge on an entire town.

Last time I checked out a scary movie at a theater (not counting Zodiac because I was too mesmerized by Jake Gyllenhaal to pay attention to the scary stuff) was back in 2005 for Saw II. I didn't have much of a problem with that movie, I was entertained, but never scared. Prior to that, the scary movie was Darkness Falls in 2003... that one was horrible. I found myself laughing out loud for various parts of the movie as couples would only look up at me like "WTF is her problem?"

I was a little apprehensive about going to the movie because I knew that I'd come out either very disappointed or very paranoid. I was shooting for the latter (although I have friends that would attest to me already being sufficiently paranoid). I thought, since I'm a sucker for the Saw movies (they don't scare me... they just make me "Ah! That must suck," all the time) and the people making this Silence movie are the same ones, that I'd love the thing... and maybe.... possibly... be scared at some point.

Sadly, it didn't deliver. I must say there was only one part of the movie where I had to cover my mouth because of a "No, you dumb ass!" moment, and another where I was shaking my head "Don't do it, man." Other than that, I was either laughing or rolling my eyes. Still, it wasn't BAD like Darkness Falls, so I'm not complaining too much (the ending was ok, I suppose).

If they wanted to know scary, they should have gone to my mom's cousin's house in California the day of her funeral. Now that was scary.
Dolls to my left and right.Dolls on the floor next to the bed.
Dolls when I walked out of the room and headed towards the bathroom.

That was the deceased lady's room... which I was "lucky" enough to sleep in all alone. The things I saw and heard that night still send chills down my spine.

Learn from that, "professionals!" (I kid, I kid. I figure I'm just not a chick meant to watch "scary" flicks because I overanalyze... unless they're dealing with the end of the world. Those manage to scare me to the point where I become unbelievably irrational. Too bad they don't make too many movies about that).