Crazy.
Anyway, I'm only writing today because someone reminded me it was St. Patrick's Day (it's not like Google's discrete about it, either).
I felt relief because this year it landed on a weekend... so I'm not forced to wear green.
I know that by this age, no one should really ever pinch me without my consent... but I remember getting so many back in the grade school days, that while I'm a peaceful person, this day I'd usually get in some sort of confrontation.
It's not that I can't afford clothes... I've just never really liked green. It isn't until recently that I've noticed green to be a lovely color ("Oh! Green's the color of the mountains... well, not Vegas mountains") and now own about 5 green shirts.
There are two stories that really pop into my head when St. Patrick's day is mentioned.
One:
1992: Getting into the school bus and my really cool bus driver, Kenny, wasn't wearing green. The poor guy got pinched by every kid that came in the bus. After I took my turn, he said "Now honey... be a sweetie and get me one of those leaves on the tree over there." I did as I was told... sort of fearing he was going to close the door on me once I stepped outside the bus and leave me stranded.
Damn it, why did I pinch him? I'm not Irish... it's none of my business to pinch people.
Once I returned, he pinned the leaf to his shirt, and thanked me.
"No one else is pinching me today."
The same trick worked for me until 4th grade, when I bumped into some assholes... but each time I see the kind of bushes I picked the leaf from, I think about that sweetheart bus driver... and feel bad for pinching him (granted, I was 7 at the time and my pinch couldn't have sucked as bad as those the 5th graders gave him).
Two:
1998: I was late for Algebra... again... and I was cursing the day school thought it'd be a good idea to make my 7th grade math class the first class of the day.
I woke up late and put on some blue clothes (my favorite color at the time) that were easily available. I hadn't forgotten it was St. Paddy's day, but I didn't own green clothes. I did have green shamrock earrings, but since I thought it'd look stupid with my blue clothes, I pinned them to my shirt... like a brooch.
It's not like I'll get pinched, everyone at school's a Mexican... and we're all grown out of the pinching phase
So, as I was powerwalking to class (because I wasn't desperate enough to run down my middle school halls for stupid Algebra class at the age of 13 ) I bumped into 3 "cholas" that were strolling along, I guess ditching class. I still remember what they looked like, particularly the shortest one. I don't remember her name, because she was an 8th grader, but I remember everything else. She was up to my shoulder, she had her hair picked up in a bun, she had huge hoop earrings, and her make-up was all "Angela from Dangerous Minds."
While I walked past her, I remember she reached over and pinched the hell out of my right arm.
"You're not wearing green."
I remember pondering whether or not to stop and punch the midget, only to opt for picking up the pace and screaming:
"Fuck you! You're not wearing green either, pendeja!"
Her buddies "OOooO!"ed.
The girl turned around and screamed
"What you say, puta?!"
I turned around, flicked them off, screamed
"Fuck you, I'm wearing green... you fucking blind ass idiot,"
then ran like hell to class. I could have taken on the short bitch, but her two friends would have kicked my ass.
I only got mouthy because my class was a couple of yards away from where the incident took place... plus, I've never been so angry.
Damn... my arm hurts... fucking Irish people...
I opened the door to class like a madwoman, panting, as my elderly teacher was going over... something about fractions. I was massaging my arm as I walked to my seat, clear across the room, only to have the teacher say:
"Glad you could join us, AnoMALIE. Now, can you please help solve homework question number 5?"
What a way to start off the day.
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