World's worst DJ

Earlier last week, I became the proud co-owner of approximately 118 (but who's counting, anyway?) Mix CDs. I say co-owner because the CDs were given to my father. OK, not the actually CDs... but it was this huge disk changer thingy... one that professionals use (I only say that because I can't work it, and I'm a normal plebe). I have no clue if the donor was aware that 118 of his CDs were still in the damn contraption, but he hasn't called, so I called first dibs.

I finally got to listening to some of the CDs over the weekend. Some were entire albums, like "Siamese Dream" by the Smashing Pumpkins, about 5 Madonna CDs that I could care less about, Alanis Morissette's "Under Rug Swept", and Billy idol's "Vital Idol." However, there were only about 20 of those.

There were about 15 CDs dedicated to singles, real ones and burned ones. I only liked about two (NOT including The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony," which only brought back annoying memories), so those CDs were placed back in the futuristic machine (yeah, I've settled for those terms since my Neanderthal ass can't operate it).

Then followed about 20 more that were Mix CDs, but with labels. They had "themes" for the most part. There were a couple of "1990's," "1980's," and "1970's" CDs. I must say, I quickly became fond of the 1990's CDs (who puts "Damn, I wish I was your lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins and "Crossroads" by Bone Thugs in the same CD? This man, that's who!).

After the fun of going back in time was over, I realized the remaining CDs were unlabeled. At first I thought it was going to be an easy task, because most of the songs were recognizable. Whenever I bumped into a song I had no clue about, I'd jot down some lyrics and Google them to get a clue.
This is how I found songs like "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something, and the more disturbing "Don't Stand So Close to Me," from The Police (I'm pretty glad my mom only listened to Spanish music when I was a kid. At least their subjects consist of heartbreak, being locked up in jail and your woman forgetting about you, or about wanting to "na-na-na-na" with someone... rather than songs about wannabe Lolitas).
However, after an hour of doing this, I quickly became disgruntled and decided to just name the damn unknown songs by the first phrase I could catch... or the one repeated most often.

I think I could have lasted longer at this guessing game if the damn CDs would have been in some sort of order (I would have even been happy if the DJ guy would have just burned songs in the order they appeared on Napster... they'd be in some sort of alphabetical order, whether it were by artist or song title). But no... they were, by FREAKING far, the worst mixes I've come to hear. Here's a sample of my progression with the CD labeling:
Second CD of the series:
1-5, & 14: Chinese.
6. Janet Jackson- Someone to call my lover?
7. Mariah Carey
8. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Aeroplane
9. Rolling on the river?
10. Classical
11. Lady marmalade
12. Fly?- Nelly Furtado
13. electronica.

At the end of this, I felt ok... but that electronica in the end was a bit annoying. However, I was glad to have stumbled upon the very trippy "Aeroplane" by the RHCP's, and I was determined to understand what the Chinese songs said. At this point, I was thinking: Man, this guy's pretty rad. Chinese?!

Another CD (lots of) minutes later:
1 & 2: Techno
3. Mariah Carey- Like That?
4. Jungle
5. "California"
6. 80's Rock
7. Techno
8. Mariah Carey- Shake it off
9. 80's Rock
10. RuPaul
11. 90's Rock (followed by a smiley face)
12. Bring it on?
13. She's a little bit dangerous?
14. That's the way we get by?
15. Listen to your heart

At this point, I just wanted it to be over... so I'd jot down the phrases I caught in the middle of songs. This CD made me think that it might have had a "coming out" theme... because, really... RuPaul? Ru-freakin-Paul! You better work, cover-girl!

One of the final CDs I listened to:
1. Song for the Lonely- Cher
2. (starred, because I knew what it was, but was too tired to get on-line and look it up)
3. LFO
4. Take on me
5. Alanis Morissette
6. " "
7. _______
8. Techno
9. Dancing Queen
10. ABBA
11. B-52's
12. Blink 182
13. Pepsi Remix
14. (blank)
15. Coolio- 1,2,3,4
16. Blah
17. Crash
18. (blank)
19. STUPID SONG
20. Dropkick Murphys
21. 80's pop
22. Crazy- Britney Spears.

I never knew my... annoyance was so blatant when I wrote. I blame the annoyance on the fact that Cher's songs had been all over the mix CDs... and if I heard another one, I might have just shoved a pencil in my ear (that last song on the CD really summed up my feelings of the odyssey in general). This CD I had an issue with... mainly because it was SO out there with its Pepsi Remix song... you know, the one Britney sang back in the... I forgot the year. But this song was also in another CD in its full version... and I had forgotten how fucking annoying it had always been.

I'm just glad I'm no longer "bada-bop-a-bop"ing around the place ("the joy of Pepsi" was fucking killing me!).