Snobville, population: +1

I was first told I was to wear glasses when I was a Junior in high school.
I of course, being a great Mexican, withdrew in denial and never wore those things for the remainder of high school.
I was like a mom with postpartum depression... I just hid those glasses in a drawer and wanted nothing to do with those nerd magnets (I was already an AP student... no need to add fucking glasses to the mix).

Well, I started noticing that I had a hard time reading yellow and green dry-erase markers in my calculus class when I entered college.
Of course, I solved this problem by looking over at my neighbor's notes until some blinder bat complained about the stupidity of writing with yellow markers on a board.

My eye problem gained momentum once I got into organic chemistry and chose some shitty seats.
The teacher loved using the overhead projector... and I couldn't see the tiny electrons she'd draw on mechanisms (nerd talk, I know).
That's when I decided to find and wear my old glasses.
I'd quickly put them on once o-chem lecture began, and then I'd get rid of them once the professor finished writing for the day.
Once Organic Chemistry was over, I stashed the glasses back in their hiding spot.

No problems during Fall of 2005... but then came the Spring of 2006.
My worst nightmare.
The Biochemistry professor loved making PowerPoints with disgusting color schemes.
The one I hated with a passion was aqua-ish blue background with white writing. I'd go ape shit when he'd use those colors (I still groan with rage whenever I see some ass use those colors together).
It was freaking impossible to read anything.
Mammalian Physiology didn't help. One professor did the same type of shit.
Buttttt! I did learn my lesson that semester.
No, I didn't learn Biochemistry II OR Mam Phys... I failed those two bitches with a hardcore F. The lesson I learned was: USE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES AnoMALIE! Quit living in denial and just wear those damn wire-rimmed glasses for fucks sake, before you go blind!

Well, like a good kid, I wore my glasses for the remainder of my college experience (but only during lecture).
However, towards the end of this semester, I started noticing how I was having a hard time reading very small, distant print while wearing my now-accepted-and-worn-without-a-care glasses. I also had to squint to see people... often times completely ignoring some friends who'd smile at me (I almost lost a few friends over my new "conceited bitch attitude." I'd have to explain that no, I wasn't turning my nose up at them... or giving them the stink eye... I was seriously having a hard time making out any sort of facial feature on a person's face).

This leads me to what happened yesterday.
Tired of being a blind idiot who's scared of driving at night for fear of striking a small animal/child in my boondock side of town, I decided to go for an eye exam.
Mooney's ever so kind to hook it up.
She dealt with my baby attitude when it came to checking my eye's pressure (that's what the air blowing into my eye was for, correct?), not losing her cool the entire... ten minutes I sat there going "No!!! I don't like anything being shot in my eye!!"
Mooney: Well, I'd hope you wouldn't like anything being shot in your eye!
Tests showed I'm now to wear glasses all the time.
Booooooooooo!!
To make me feel better (and because she loves me), Mooney gave me a family discount... and that gave me the extra push I needed to buy myself these bad boys:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen... I am now the proud owner of a pair of Dolce & Gabbana glasses!
Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhck yesssssssssss.

I was told my glasses would be ready in a half hour, so I had to walk around the Fashion Show and get a headache 'til then.
I was getting a bad case of buyer's remorse... but I finally said "Fuck it. I'm graduating... I deserve this little thing!"
When I finally went to pick up my glasses, right before I left, the dude who was helping me pick out the glasses in the first place remembered he hadn't given me the case.
I thought it was going to be your average case (how foolish of me, I should have known Italians do things with fucking style!), but when the guy handed me the case, I almost jumped up to kiss the hand with which he was handing me the case.
Why? Because it looks like this:So beautiful, I get watery eyed just staring at the case in all its majestic glory.
It looks so chic and feminine... Ooooo... ahhh.

Ladies and gentlemen, AnoMALIE is growing up.
Looking a little extra nerdy... but... chic... with her bitchin' pair of glasses!

(Not even a day with them has passed and I'm already getting the elitist attitude D&G buyers have. I realized I get slightly offended when others compare their glasses to mine.
As I sat at a lounge with a couple of friends last night, "celebrating" the end of semester for them, end of college for me, one of the chicks at the table pointed at my glasses and then pulled out her pair of glasses from her bag. "We have the same glasses!" she said, twice. Her glasses were black plastic like mine, that's it. The first time she said it, my head went "Did she just say what I think she said?" The second time I smiled at her, with the desire to throw a fork at her, flipping over her Paella, scream "Where the fuck is your D&G? Fuck that, yours look nothing like mine!" and then spit by her shoe... j/k. I did want to roll my eyes at her though. Instead, I smiled while little sister screamed "Yours are Dolce & Gabbana too?!" as some lame, 1980's merengue music made it difficult for any of us to hear her. I don't know, maybe it was just the mojitos in me that were making me a little snobby last night... who knows?)