Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Taking the memory out of Memorial Day weekend

Rough weekend/week.

God... what day of the week is it?

I'm not quite sure what's happened since I last wrote... but what I can remember:
1) Slutty shirts= Loaded drinks... I mean, why don't you just bring me the fucking rum bottle already, instead of my 13 dollar so-called "Mai Tai"?
2) I'll eat any kind of seafood when buzzed... and it actually tastes good to me.
3) I'm a flirt... an annoying flirt, when intoxicated.
4) I will never again wear a white top when going out to drink... I spill all over the place and it turns into a wet t-shirt contest we ALL DO NOT need to watch... Jesus...
5) I go a little crazy with the "tip" when drunk... I somehow owe $1,136 bucks on my credit card, all from this weekend... FUCK ME... I'm DEAD!
6) I fought the urge to drunk-text Mr. Darcy this entire weekend. I almost confessed to him on... Friday night? I'm not sure what day it was... but I'm just glad I somehow held that back.
7) I went to a beauty pageant... it was the worst 6 hours of my life... WORST.
8) I learned beauty pageants are rigged. Where the fuck has integrity gone in this country if we can't even trust beauty pageants?
9) I somehow went to mass twice this weekend... both times thinking about, and looking forward to, the great sins I was going to commit later on those nights... I'm horrible.
10) A close friend of mine told me about their recent attempted suicide. I didn't know how to react to the news. I just sort of sat there... with a glazed-over look, debating whether to empathize and lend my shoulder for them to cry on, or go ape shit and start knocking things over while screaming at my friend what a bonehead, selfish move that was. I went for the "bob and smile as I grab for my right foot to place over my left knee with my left hand" look. I hate being passive-aggressive... that shit's going to kill me some day.
11) I saw a lot of Jason Bourne this weekend.
12) Oh my God... what did I do yesterday?
13) I've been fighting off a pinched nerve near my left ass cheek... it REALLY annoys me and paralyzes me at the most inconvenient times... but I don't feel it at all after a couple of drinks.
14) I'm tired... so fucking tired... and it's noticeable... I keep hearing it from everyone.

I need a break from this break.
Please... no more drinking.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Come hang out with me and Mike, or Me and and MIchelle.. or me, mike and michelle. Or me and Kyle (although that may involve slavery) No drinking involved :-)

Mooney said...

Oh wow, looks like you had a blast!

AnoMALIE said...

Tortoise Queen- F'sho! Just let it wait 'til Monday when the ruler of my house is gone and I don't have to worry about her calling me every ten minutes after 11PM.

Like the saying goes: Once the cat's away, the mice come out and play!

Mooney- It was... sort of a blast. You know me... I feel guilty most of the time... and I'm not very into making a scene... but apparently, that's all I did from Friday until... Monday.
Hope YOU had a blast at Disney... you did go... right? or did I dream that up?