Rocking in the Dark

The moon was so bright, it called my attention as I walked past glass sliding doors.
I was making my way to the laundry room to finish with my favorite chore when the light caught my eye.
I slowly made my way to the doors, each step my hopes building.
I'll look toward the lemon tree... and had this been 2012, he'd be over there... ears perked...
I pressed my forehead against the glass-- I couldn't see the moon without coming in contact with the doors.
Unsatisfied, I walked to the kitchen and opened the door leading to the backyard.
Again, I felt a glimmer of hope when I looked at the right hand corner.
Maybe I'll see that cuddly ball... and his huge orange eyes stare up at me... his little eyebrows wondering what the hell my problem might be.

But there was nothing... Just the dark stain left by years of Tyson's body resting in that corner.
I looked away, and saw the two rocking chairs. I took a seat and stared at the moon... in complete silence, complete darkness, and for the first time in seven months-- completely alone.

This same scene, so many nights, by my side.
For 11.5 years.

I still can't sit in the backyard for too long. I can't have stare-downs with the moon without feeling... the worst emptiness my heart has ever felt.

I miss my boy.