It is astonishing how fast this year is speeding by.
I'm fuckin' dying.
Not literally... at least not to my knowledge.
The wedding used to feel like it was decades away... and now I have less than two weeks to get my shit together.
Today was the day I decided to take my dress for alterations.
This fucking dress PISSES ME OFF.
I don't understand the fucking purpose of getting your measurements taken, to ultimately be told "Yeah, so according to OUR chart, your bust is a size 13--if we made it-- your waist is a 10, and your hips are a size 15, if we made it. So... you might want to think about your largest part... so... it's either a size 14 or 16 dress you're going to have to order."
A size 14 or 16... when my waist is a 10. I dropped 200 bucks at a bridal shop to buy a PRE-MADE dress... that did not fit my upper body... not only was it baggy, but it was too short on my TORSO. MY TORSO! I'm 5'9"... how the fuck is that a freak size? AND ON A SIZE 14! What kind of fucking standard do they follow for a size 14? An obese midget? WHAT THE FUCK?!
AND THEN they charge 200 more fucking dollar for alterations... TWO-HUNDRED-FUCKING-DOLLARS.
Yeah, like I don't have anything better to do with four hundred dollars, so I'll just burn them on a fucking IDIOTICALLY SHAPED DRESS.
Why not just charge the four hundred dollars upfront and MAKE THE DRESS ACCORDING TO MY MEASUREMENTS?! Accommodate my freakishly long torso, big tits, and HIPpopotamus lower-half in one fucking shot.
Don't give me a fucking dress that will lead me to uncontrollable tears the moment I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and notice I resemble a dick covered in a fucking used condom. FUCK!
SO ANYWAY... I go ahead and put on the dress, proceed to scratch the fuck out of it as I mistreat it while looking in the mirror... and of course I cry. I'm offended by what I see AND I'm frustrated, AND it makes me feel like the ugliest piece of shit walking this planet.
You're a FREAK! YOU'RE ABNORMAL. THIS is why guys don't like you... you don't fit into the NORMAL shit... you will ALWAYS be a fucking heifer, dumbass.
I HATE dresses to begin with, but when the dress makes me feel like a fucking freak of nature, it makes me miserable. It makes me feel like such an abnormal... ugly... stupid excuse for a girl.
Why can't I be normal and fit in a pre-made dress?
I don't feel so out of the norm... and my ass is actually SMALLER than the average Latina's... yet here I am... still having to buy a BAG for a "dress."
So yeah, I've basically been crying all goddamned day because girls here are expected to be noodles with stupidly narrow hips... and because evidently I can never ever be considered fucking NORMAL.
FUUUUUCK, I HATE WEDDINGS!
I'm fuckin' dying.
Not literally... at least not to my knowledge.
The wedding used to feel like it was decades away... and now I have less than two weeks to get my shit together.
Today was the day I decided to take my dress for alterations.
This fucking dress PISSES ME OFF.
I don't understand the fucking purpose of getting your measurements taken, to ultimately be told "Yeah, so according to OUR chart, your bust is a size 13--if we made it-- your waist is a 10, and your hips are a size 15, if we made it. So... you might want to think about your largest part... so... it's either a size 14 or 16 dress you're going to have to order."
A size 14 or 16... when my waist is a 10. I dropped 200 bucks at a bridal shop to buy a PRE-MADE dress... that did not fit my upper body... not only was it baggy, but it was too short on my TORSO. MY TORSO! I'm 5'9"... how the fuck is that a freak size? AND ON A SIZE 14! What kind of fucking standard do they follow for a size 14? An obese midget? WHAT THE FUCK?!
AND THEN they charge 200 more fucking dollar for alterations... TWO-HUNDRED-FUCKING-DOLLARS.
Yeah, like I don't have anything better to do with four hundred dollars, so I'll just burn them on a fucking IDIOTICALLY SHAPED DRESS.
Why not just charge the four hundred dollars upfront and MAKE THE DRESS ACCORDING TO MY MEASUREMENTS?! Accommodate my freakishly long torso, big tits, and HIPpopotamus lower-half in one fucking shot.
Don't give me a fucking dress that will lead me to uncontrollable tears the moment I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and notice I resemble a dick covered in a fucking used condom. FUCK!
SO ANYWAY... I go ahead and put on the dress, proceed to scratch the fuck out of it as I mistreat it while looking in the mirror... and of course I cry. I'm offended by what I see AND I'm frustrated, AND it makes me feel like the ugliest piece of shit walking this planet.
You're a FREAK! YOU'RE ABNORMAL. THIS is why guys don't like you... you don't fit into the NORMAL shit... you will ALWAYS be a fucking heifer, dumbass.
I HATE dresses to begin with, but when the dress makes me feel like a fucking freak of nature, it makes me miserable. It makes me feel like such an abnormal... ugly... stupid excuse for a girl.
Why can't I be normal and fit in a pre-made dress?
I don't feel so out of the norm... and my ass is actually SMALLER than the average Latina's... yet here I am... still having to buy a BAG for a "dress."
So yeah, I've basically been crying all goddamned day because girls here are expected to be noodles with stupidly narrow hips... and because evidently I can never ever be considered fucking NORMAL.
FUUUUUCK, I HATE WEDDINGS!
2 comments:
It's that STUPID bridal shop! All the bridal shows on TV that my mom watches sends for the dresses according to the bridesmaid's measurements. IF I ever get married, I'll be damned if I put my bridesmaids (aka you! Lol) through the bs we're subjected to.
I bet she did that shit on purpose.
...The bridal shop is looking to make money on alterations. Also.. for sizing.. they're full of shit. Bridal sizes are typically 2 sizes up from where you are... so you're a ten on top, six in the waist and 8 in the hips.
Post a Comment