Tit update: So much better. I'm pretty sure I smashed it with the barbell while bench pressing Wednesday afternoon... which makes a lot of sense because I'm such a fucking clumsy idiot. I've opted for leaving the body part alone and completely ignoring it... if I don't think about it, it's not there, right?
Anyway! I've been on an orchestra kick since returning from Costa Rica.
close to the end of my stay, the littlest of my friends pulled me aside to whisper in my ear.
Vale: Can you do me a BIG favor?
Me: Sure, what's that?
Vale: Can you play the violin for me? Even just a little?
Me: But I didn't bring it...
Vale: We can ask my grandpa for his... just so you can play a little... just a little... please? For me.
BabyGirl is learning to play the piano, and so one day, I sat next to her and played the few basic songs I know on the piano (you know, the ones that only require the use of one hand. I never took lessons, everything was by ear and stuff I did whenever I'd be alone in the music room, bored out of my mind). We began talking about the musical instruments we know how to play.
BabyGirl asked me while shoving her fingers in her mouth, which is what she does when she's TOTALLY shy about something.
I couldn't say no.
Me: Well... let's see if I remember anything...
Muscle memory is CRAZY. I was able to bust out a few CHRISTMAS songs... which cracked me up. There was also the obvious Vivaldi... everyone knows his jams.
I tried remembering the Disney songs I know (Little Mermaid and Lion King stuff... those movies are the shit). It made my little buddies smile and applaud. It was a little embarrassing, but very pleasant to make them happy.
Orchestra...
One of my first loves that taught me one of my first tough lessons about life: you get fucked... you get cheated.
We're told if we work hard enough, and put our heart into something, we'll be rewarded.
Lie.
I was naturally gifted... and I busted my fucking ass practicing every single day in that tiny house of mine... in the ghetto. No one else in my house knowing a thing about music.
I played my fucking heart out, and STOMPED my competition-- my friend who COULD afford years of private violin tutoring. I fucking DESTROYED her by playing flawlessly, in front of ALL our classmates. And they STILL gave her the top spot, as disgusted and outraged as it made the rest of the class... as heartbroken and embarrassed as it made me.
That was the first time I felt that kick in the gut-- the sting of getting cheated because someone else was more privileged.
"It's because... I KNOW she'll have it down by the time the concert rolls around... she has a private tutor," my instructor tried justifying, as I fought back tears.
And... I won't... because I'm... poor and can't afford a tutor? I just PROVED I can bust my ass and SHINE on MY OWN.
I got the acknowledgement from my classmates of being the best... but it didn't matter... SHE still got top spot, and played all the solos... SHE got to sit in that chair. To the audience, SHE was PRESENTED as the best.
What's the point of being "better" when it will never get recognized by the majority-- when you'll just be lost in the crowd?
She really was the best... but you know... First Chair had that expensive tutor...
Anyway! I've been on an orchestra kick since returning from Costa Rica.
close to the end of my stay, the littlest of my friends pulled me aside to whisper in my ear.
Vale: Can you do me a BIG favor?
Me: Sure, what's that?
Vale: Can you play the violin for me? Even just a little?
Me: But I didn't bring it...
Vale: We can ask my grandpa for his... just so you can play a little... just a little... please? For me.
BabyGirl is learning to play the piano, and so one day, I sat next to her and played the few basic songs I know on the piano (you know, the ones that only require the use of one hand. I never took lessons, everything was by ear and stuff I did whenever I'd be alone in the music room, bored out of my mind). We began talking about the musical instruments we know how to play.
BabyGirl asked me while shoving her fingers in her mouth, which is what she does when she's TOTALLY shy about something.
I couldn't say no.
Me: Well... let's see if I remember anything...
Muscle memory is CRAZY. I was able to bust out a few CHRISTMAS songs... which cracked me up. There was also the obvious Vivaldi... everyone knows his jams.
I tried remembering the Disney songs I know (Little Mermaid and Lion King stuff... those movies are the shit). It made my little buddies smile and applaud. It was a little embarrassing, but very pleasant to make them happy.
Orchestra...
One of my first loves that taught me one of my first tough lessons about life: you get fucked... you get cheated.
We're told if we work hard enough, and put our heart into something, we'll be rewarded.
Lie.
I was naturally gifted... and I busted my fucking ass practicing every single day in that tiny house of mine... in the ghetto. No one else in my house knowing a thing about music.
I played my fucking heart out, and STOMPED my competition-- my friend who COULD afford years of private violin tutoring. I fucking DESTROYED her by playing flawlessly, in front of ALL our classmates. And they STILL gave her the top spot, as disgusted and outraged as it made the rest of the class... as heartbroken and embarrassed as it made me.
That was the first time I felt that kick in the gut-- the sting of getting cheated because someone else was more privileged.
"It's because... I KNOW she'll have it down by the time the concert rolls around... she has a private tutor," my instructor tried justifying, as I fought back tears.
And... I won't... because I'm... poor and can't afford a tutor? I just PROVED I can bust my ass and SHINE on MY OWN.
I got the acknowledgement from my classmates of being the best... but it didn't matter... SHE still got top spot, and played all the solos... SHE got to sit in that chair. To the audience, SHE was PRESENTED as the best.
What's the point of being "better" when it will never get recognized by the majority-- when you'll just be lost in the crowd?
She really was the best... but you know... First Chair had that expensive tutor...
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