This month marks my one year of coffee addiction.
I was never a coffee drinker, not even though my AP high school years, or even my college years.
I joke that I could have been mormon.
However, after going to Costa Rica last year, I got in the habit of drinking black coffee twice a day.
This last month, in preparation for May's wedding, I've staved off the coffee. I do my best to keep my grill clean, but coffee stains, regardless of how intense I may floss or rinse, are impossible to avoid.
SO, in hopes of getting my grill as white as possible, I've called it quits on caffeine until the fucking lame spotlight is off me.
This has turned out incredibly difficult... this exclusion of coffee.
I'm more restless than ever. I go to bed after three in the morning... then I wake up tired as hell.
I spend the time at the gym yawning like a bored feline.
I'm fuckin' dyin'!
Speaking of which, I even have withdrawals, where I swear I'm suffering a heartattack. Random bouts of tachycardia surprise me throughout the day. I have to giggle to myself as I think weird shit while encountering the palpitations.
Shit would fucking suck if I passed out right now... driving 80 MPH on the highway... that would be one fiery fucking mess...
I swear, if I'm going through all this motherfucking trouble to look half-decent for this retardedass wedding... and I get stuck with the fucking CREEP of the groomsmen (as is fucking CUSTOMARY, since I'm good ol' sweet idiotic AnoMALIE... who doesn't say shit and just sits there and smiles while her partner is running around, making a fucking scene)... I'm going to pick up my shit and walk out. Plain and simple.
The back of my mind is telling me this is certainly going to happen... because AnoMALIE + weirdos go hand in hand like... Spring and flowers.
I'm going to bet I get a weirdo... or a divorcé.... ohhhh! My money's on the divorcé who will spend the rest of the night swearing up and down that I want his fucking dick.
Great. I just jinxed myself. I feel dirty already.
Good shit.
I was never a coffee drinker, not even though my AP high school years, or even my college years.
I joke that I could have been mormon.
However, after going to Costa Rica last year, I got in the habit of drinking black coffee twice a day.
This last month, in preparation for May's wedding, I've staved off the coffee. I do my best to keep my grill clean, but coffee stains, regardless of how intense I may floss or rinse, are impossible to avoid.
SO, in hopes of getting my grill as white as possible, I've called it quits on caffeine until the fucking lame spotlight is off me.
This has turned out incredibly difficult... this exclusion of coffee.
I'm more restless than ever. I go to bed after three in the morning... then I wake up tired as hell.
I spend the time at the gym yawning like a bored feline.
I'm fuckin' dyin'!
Speaking of which, I even have withdrawals, where I swear I'm suffering a heartattack. Random bouts of tachycardia surprise me throughout the day. I have to giggle to myself as I think weird shit while encountering the palpitations.
Shit would fucking suck if I passed out right now... driving 80 MPH on the highway... that would be one fiery fucking mess...
I swear, if I'm going through all this motherfucking trouble to look half-decent for this retardedass wedding... and I get stuck with the fucking CREEP of the groomsmen (as is fucking CUSTOMARY, since I'm good ol' sweet idiotic AnoMALIE... who doesn't say shit and just sits there and smiles while her partner is running around, making a fucking scene)... I'm going to pick up my shit and walk out. Plain and simple.
The back of my mind is telling me this is certainly going to happen... because AnoMALIE + weirdos go hand in hand like... Spring and flowers.
I'm going to bet I get a weirdo... or a divorcé.... ohhhh! My money's on the divorcé who will spend the rest of the night swearing up and down that I want his fucking dick.
Great. I just jinxed myself. I feel dirty already.
Good shit.
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