There's a moment from this trip which has been replaying in my mind since the moment it went down.
I have to write it down in hopes of finally being able to rest.
Tuesday was my last full day in Costa Rica. After a number of days going on extensive road trips throughout the country, we decided to keep it relatively calm and only visit a nearby volcano (a little over an hour drive) and then end the day at home, in a huge family dinner.
The day was running smoothly, and my mood was chipper, I actually wasn't too devastated by the thought of leaving Costa Rica and returning to my desert prison. It's aight. There's resignation there.
Anyway, after the dinner, the little girl of the gang lured me outside, to a tiny park shared by her grandmother's house and four other homes.
I was fighting an aggressive food coma by helping my kid swing, when I was startled by an energetic "Hola!"
I looked around and saw no one-- until a couple of shaggy, baby pigtails bounced to my left.
"Hola!" I heard once more.
It was a cute, tiny little girl... so little, I was surprised she could even walk, much less talk.
Her eyes were small, dark, and round... but they had this friendly sparkle-- those little eyes had a smile, if that makes sense.
She had dimples, and her skin was very fair.
My kid did not acknowledge the friendly little girl, but I couldn't help but smile when I looked at her pretty little eyes and innocent smile.
"Hola!" I said while waving, and tilting my head towards her.
The friendly little girl proceeded to struggle with the other swing in the set, and I felt compelled to help her out.
"Quieres que te ayude?" I asked-- Want me to help you?
"SI! Y dame fuerte, muyyyy fuerte!" she said. Yes! And push me hard, super hard!
My kid was glaring at the cute little girl, I'd say she was even trying to make her jealous by showing her SHE could swing very hard on her own.
"But what if you fall?" I asked.
"No, no me caigo! Dame fuerte, muy fuerte! Hasta que llegue al cielo!"
No, I won't fall! Swing me hard, real hard! Until I reach the sky!
I remembered being her age, and swinging with similar intentions, so I smiled... then she finished her sentence:
"Para que pueda estar con mi Papa Antonio!"
So I can be with my Dad Antonio.
It's one thing to read this sort of story, or hear it from someone else's mouth... or even watch it in a movie or television show... but... I can't describe the heartbreak I felt HEARING it from the mouth of this... tiny, adorable, kind, friendly creature. This baby girl I had initially failed to notice was not wearing any shoes.
Guys, she was so upbeat and... lively... so... it was strange. Such a happy kid with such a heartbreaking hope.
Her last statement made me swallow hard as I felt tears building in my eyes and my bottom lip begin to quiver.
"Oh..." was all I could manage to say without the fear of sobbing out loud.
Before any more time passed to give me room to begin crying like my typical, idiot, overly-sentimental self, the little girl's grandmother walked towards the swing set.
"So you managed to get someone to swing you, you little bandit?" asked the lady.
"Grandma! She's going to swing me up to the sky! Up with Papa Antonio!" said the little girl.
The lady walked closer to me.
"But Papa Antonio is in heaven. You're too young to have any business in heaven, Seidy," said the lady.
"What?! You're telling me YOU don't want to be reunited with Wilson in heaven?!" said Seidy, the little girl.
The entire time, I was swinging Seidy, looking at the old lady, and then looking at the ground.
"Papa Antonio was her dad-- my son. He committed suicide two years ago... but how do you tell that to a child, you know? And Wilson was my husband, he died last year."
By now I was trying my hardest not to sniffle. "Oh" was the only syllable I could blurt out without fear of crying like a ninny.
Swing me to the sky...
The innocence of childhood is just... wow.
I have to write it down in hopes of finally being able to rest.
Tuesday was my last full day in Costa Rica. After a number of days going on extensive road trips throughout the country, we decided to keep it relatively calm and only visit a nearby volcano (a little over an hour drive) and then end the day at home, in a huge family dinner.
The day was running smoothly, and my mood was chipper, I actually wasn't too devastated by the thought of leaving Costa Rica and returning to my desert prison. It's aight. There's resignation there.
Anyway, after the dinner, the little girl of the gang lured me outside, to a tiny park shared by her grandmother's house and four other homes.
I was fighting an aggressive food coma by helping my kid swing, when I was startled by an energetic "Hola!"
I looked around and saw no one-- until a couple of shaggy, baby pigtails bounced to my left.
"Hola!" I heard once more.
It was a cute, tiny little girl... so little, I was surprised she could even walk, much less talk.
Her eyes were small, dark, and round... but they had this friendly sparkle-- those little eyes had a smile, if that makes sense.
She had dimples, and her skin was very fair.
My kid did not acknowledge the friendly little girl, but I couldn't help but smile when I looked at her pretty little eyes and innocent smile.
"Hola!" I said while waving, and tilting my head towards her.
The friendly little girl proceeded to struggle with the other swing in the set, and I felt compelled to help her out.
"Quieres que te ayude?" I asked-- Want me to help you?
"SI! Y dame fuerte, muyyyy fuerte!" she said. Yes! And push me hard, super hard!
My kid was glaring at the cute little girl, I'd say she was even trying to make her jealous by showing her SHE could swing very hard on her own.
"But what if you fall?" I asked.
"No, no me caigo! Dame fuerte, muy fuerte! Hasta que llegue al cielo!"
No, I won't fall! Swing me hard, real hard! Until I reach the sky!
I remembered being her age, and swinging with similar intentions, so I smiled... then she finished her sentence:
"Para que pueda estar con mi Papa Antonio!"
So I can be with my Dad Antonio.
It's one thing to read this sort of story, or hear it from someone else's mouth... or even watch it in a movie or television show... but... I can't describe the heartbreak I felt HEARING it from the mouth of this... tiny, adorable, kind, friendly creature. This baby girl I had initially failed to notice was not wearing any shoes.
Guys, she was so upbeat and... lively... so... it was strange. Such a happy kid with such a heartbreaking hope.
Her last statement made me swallow hard as I felt tears building in my eyes and my bottom lip begin to quiver.
"Oh..." was all I could manage to say without the fear of sobbing out loud.
Before any more time passed to give me room to begin crying like my typical, idiot, overly-sentimental self, the little girl's grandmother walked towards the swing set.
"So you managed to get someone to swing you, you little bandit?" asked the lady.
"Grandma! She's going to swing me up to the sky! Up with Papa Antonio!" said the little girl.
The lady walked closer to me.
"But Papa Antonio is in heaven. You're too young to have any business in heaven, Seidy," said the lady.
"What?! You're telling me YOU don't want to be reunited with Wilson in heaven?!" said Seidy, the little girl.
The entire time, I was swinging Seidy, looking at the old lady, and then looking at the ground.
"Papa Antonio was her dad-- my son. He committed suicide two years ago... but how do you tell that to a child, you know? And Wilson was my husband, he died last year."
By now I was trying my hardest not to sniffle. "Oh" was the only syllable I could blurt out without fear of crying like a ninny.
Swing me to the sky...
The innocence of childhood is just... wow.
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