Ode to Verizon

Dear cell phone carrier:
You suck dick.
Without you, my life would be merrier.
You make me sick.

You make me think
My friends are mad at me...
Perhaps on the brink
Of getting disowned to a degree.
:[

I take the phone with me,
It doesn't leave my side...
It's in the bathroom as I pee,
As if it were my pride.

I wait for a call
Or even some texting.
I stare at the wall...
This silence is vexing.

Should I blame the phone?
Maybe, who knows?
I turn it on in search for the tone...
Still there... this blows!

Is it the Moto Q
Causing all my woes?
It wasn't mentioned at its debut...
Guess that's what I get for trusting "Bros."

Here's to you, Verizon,
You bunch of worthless tricks!
Here's to another horizon
I have spent shitting bricks!

WTF... this fucking phone is ALWAYS messed up!
Yesterday, it started acting up since the early morning...
I kept getting upset thinking my friends were pissed at me... or that I was pissing them off.
I couldn't send or recieve messages... or phone calls (of course, I didn't know that... I just presumed people were giving me the silent treatment, so I left all dejected to Wallmart to buy my travel supplies).

Shit... as if the damn 50 bucks I cough (ok, I don't, Mom does) up every month isn't enough...
Even when the bill was 100 bucks a month, it would do this to me at times, even causing me a nice little argument with Lucky Soprano... and I think it drove me to call Native Minnow a jerk around the same time.

FUCK YOU, VERIZON!!
(P.S. I can't even get picture messages from people... that's how fucking lame my service is... I need to get on-line to check them... and media messages? Shit, forget about 'em. Choke on a dick, Verizon... choke on a dick)