So, Christmas came and went, and now it's time to focus on the closing of this year and the start of the new.
It's time for some motherfuckin' resolutions.
I had been thinking about this resolution for a long time, especially since a few days ago I had a very in-depth conversation about it with my mother.
This forgiveness issue of mine.
I'm SO fucking stubborn when it comes to forgiveness.
I say I forgive, but never forget. When someone goes out of their way to apologize to me for any wrong they may have caused, I "accept" the apology, but things are never the same. I stop trusting the person, and the issue for which they apologized will forever remain in my head... I'll have my guard up around them, and I'll distance myself from them.
I have too difficult a stance on this topic... and I feel like a complete fucking asshole when I have to apologize... because I understand the offended party is in all his/her right to not accept my apology, and it also reminds me that: Hey! Pendeja! You fucked up!
So... the concept of apologizing and forgiveness has been pretty fucked in my head.
This recent fight with my brother made me realize that I'm a fucking dick... and I should really try to be kind... and apologize when I fuck up, but especially FORGIVE when someone offends me.
I fixed things with my brother today... which technically is yesterday. He left at 10PM, so before that, I made sure to be kind to him, and let him know that I love him, and that if I ever offended him I was terribly sorry, and if he ever offended me I've totally forgotten it. And all went back to normal... we even hugged when I dropped him off at the airport.
This will be what I work on most. I will be quick to ask for forgiveness, and more importantly, whole-heartedly forgive ANYONE who offends me or HAS offended me in the past.
I will be kind and forgiving... and not see it as a weakness.
It's time for some motherfuckin' resolutions.
I had been thinking about this resolution for a long time, especially since a few days ago I had a very in-depth conversation about it with my mother.
This forgiveness issue of mine.
I'm SO fucking stubborn when it comes to forgiveness.
I say I forgive, but never forget. When someone goes out of their way to apologize to me for any wrong they may have caused, I "accept" the apology, but things are never the same. I stop trusting the person, and the issue for which they apologized will forever remain in my head... I'll have my guard up around them, and I'll distance myself from them.
I have too difficult a stance on this topic... and I feel like a complete fucking asshole when I have to apologize... because I understand the offended party is in all his/her right to not accept my apology, and it also reminds me that: Hey! Pendeja! You fucked up!
So... the concept of apologizing and forgiveness has been pretty fucked in my head.
This recent fight with my brother made me realize that I'm a fucking dick... and I should really try to be kind... and apologize when I fuck up, but especially FORGIVE when someone offends me.
I fixed things with my brother today... which technically is yesterday. He left at 10PM, so before that, I made sure to be kind to him, and let him know that I love him, and that if I ever offended him I was terribly sorry, and if he ever offended me I've totally forgotten it. And all went back to normal... we even hugged when I dropped him off at the airport.
This will be what I work on most. I will be quick to ask for forgiveness, and more importantly, whole-heartedly forgive ANYONE who offends me or HAS offended me in the past.
I will be kind and forgiving... and not see it as a weakness.
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