Now part 237,576,987 of: Let's Cheer Up AnoMALIE!
I like watching my friends and family's attempt at cheering me up... sometimes even strangers in the street throw me a bone.
They all have such different tactics, and even as the fucked up mess that I'll be, I'll smile at the observation.
There are some fantastic people at uplifting spirits and giving support, like my closest friends and family... then there are those that make my tears stop because I sit back and analyze what has just left their mouth... and leave me wondering what THE FUCK they were thinking.
"Just remember, you never get less than you deserve."
... Wait... so... wait, wait... let me see if I got this straight... what I'm currently experiencing... this incredibly HEAVY, destructive heartbreak, is well deserved, and probably the LEAST I could have gotten... like... I'm lucky I didn't straight-up get murdered instead of just heartbroken... ? What... ?
I have to giggle... because I think of these folks working a suicide hotline.
Just give the bitch a gun and a bullet and call it a day, homie. You're great.
Honestly, I'm better.
I took my day (and a half) to cry it all out. Like never before. Exhausting... and painful, obviously, but now is the readjusting period.
My pupils have narrowed, and a new ambition has entered my field of view. I'm up... and my heart is pumping strong... spite is running through my veins, and that has ALWAYS propelled me towards my biggest accomplishments-- as sad as the majority of the universe may see it.
It's the only way I've learned I can do things. It's the only thing that has EVER lifted me from the pit I am continuously, violently, and mercilessly thrown into.
I'm a good girl. I'm a nice girl. I'm a sweet girl. I'm an innocent girl.
But I have to hide all that, because everyone lunges at that vulnerability and shoots to kill. Every single time. The world eats up innocence. The world tramples kindness.
That girl will go back into seclusion.
It's back to acting. Smile on my face, though on the inside, all I want to do is disappear.
But at least I once again have drive, right? I may have lost my soul, but I definitely have some goals.
Cool.
I like watching my friends and family's attempt at cheering me up... sometimes even strangers in the street throw me a bone.
They all have such different tactics, and even as the fucked up mess that I'll be, I'll smile at the observation.
There are some fantastic people at uplifting spirits and giving support, like my closest friends and family... then there are those that make my tears stop because I sit back and analyze what has just left their mouth... and leave me wondering what THE FUCK they were thinking.
"Just remember, you never get less than you deserve."
... Wait... so... wait, wait... let me see if I got this straight... what I'm currently experiencing... this incredibly HEAVY, destructive heartbreak, is well deserved, and probably the LEAST I could have gotten... like... I'm lucky I didn't straight-up get murdered instead of just heartbroken... ? What... ?
I have to giggle... because I think of these folks working a suicide hotline.
Just give the bitch a gun and a bullet and call it a day, homie. You're great.
Honestly, I'm better.
I took my day (and a half) to cry it all out. Like never before. Exhausting... and painful, obviously, but now is the readjusting period.
My pupils have narrowed, and a new ambition has entered my field of view. I'm up... and my heart is pumping strong... spite is running through my veins, and that has ALWAYS propelled me towards my biggest accomplishments-- as sad as the majority of the universe may see it.
It's the only way I've learned I can do things. It's the only thing that has EVER lifted me from the pit I am continuously, violently, and mercilessly thrown into.
I'm a good girl. I'm a nice girl. I'm a sweet girl. I'm an innocent girl.
But I have to hide all that, because everyone lunges at that vulnerability and shoots to kill. Every single time. The world eats up innocence. The world tramples kindness.
That girl will go back into seclusion.
It's back to acting. Smile on my face, though on the inside, all I want to do is disappear.
But at least I once again have drive, right? I may have lost my soul, but I definitely have some goals.
Cool.
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