Monday, December 3, 2012

GOD(?)SON

I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, but for one reason or another, I always forget... maybe because I get so fucking distressed.

So, that whole modeling contest my godson was in back in October, he lost, as I previously posted.
I was going to talk about the events that ensued, but I would tell myself I'd hold off until I personally spoke to Godson and didn't just type hearsay.

For weeks, he promised me we'd talk "this weekend" because he was SO busy every single day. He'd only write me one or two sentences on Facebook... or worse yet, only "like" my comment.
What the fuck is that, you little asshole? I'm YOUR GODMOM! TALK TO ME, GOD DAMNIT!
I was urged to speak to him because he never returned home after the contest-- he STAYED IN CANCUN, where the contest took place.
This upset me because he was supposed to graduate on the 19th of this month... so he was TWO MONTHS AWAY from getting his diploma. TWO. FUCKING. MONTHS. AWAY.

At first, his status updates would be uplifting, and inspirational... though I noticed they were in all-caps.
That's odd... it's like he's screaming... he never types like that... he must be emotional right now.
As the days... hours progressed, his status updates became more insufferable. Bitter. Weird.
At first, he was very religious... every victory he dedicated to his parents, his brother, but above all god.
That was normal for me, because his mom is... fanatical Catholic.
Also, his statuses would always be "liked" or commented on by his dad and his brother.
That's how I knew he was ok.
But now, his brother does not comment or like anything Godson writes. It's as if he vanished from his life. This set off the first red flag.
Now, my Godson has always been a good kid. He's a sweetheart, and a pleaser. He's a pisces like me... hence why we get along like two peas in a pod.
He feels horrible when he upsets or offends others. He's a lamb.
He's also EASILY INFLUENCED.
Numerous times in his life, particularly his teens, we saw how easily his girlfriends manipulated him. He'd be brainwashed into worshipping only them, and forgetting his family.
My only wish was for this good, sweet, NOBLE boy to never bump into an exploitive asshole.
I wouldn't be too worried about Godson's well-being because he'd be with his brother. While Godson is a lamb, and believes everyone is a good person, his little brother is the opposite.
LittleBro is cautious as fuck. He is blunt, straightforward, analyzing, free-thinking... strong-willed. He is the Yin to Godson's Yang. LittleBro will tell Godson when he's being a naive dickhead and keeps him in line. LittleBro is a pro at reading people and their intentions, he DOES NOT get bamboozled-- he doesn't play that shit. He calls people out on their shit, fearlessly, regardless of who is present and HOW MANY people are present-- he had to stop going to church because of this (while I quietly protest in my head when the priest says something outragous, LittleBro would SPEAK when he'd disagree... even as a fucking FIVE YEAR OLD. People thought he was possessed, I thought he was the coolest human being I'd ever encountered). I absolutely adore and admire this quality in LittleBro.
LittleBro was Godson's number one fan and SUPPORT. He kept the bad people away, and uplifted Godson's spirits when things went wrong.
Once LittleBro quit approving of Godson's action... my gut-instinct told me something was wrong.


WELL!
Looks like my noble lamb was wrangled by an exploitive asshole.
He's into all that metaphysical shit. His status updates are now just... self-centered rants about emitting the correct vibes and blah blah blah. He has completely removed all that is God-related.
All he does now is compliment his new "maestro."
He hints at eventually letting us all know what was so drastic that changed his life... what "removed the blindfold" from his eyes... what turned him "from zero to hero" (this last assertion worried my entire household. My brother rarely comments shit because HE truly is busy with his consular shit, but he couldn't tolerate that type of fucking conversation, so he had to speak up. "You were never a zero!").

So far, all I know is this:
The day of the competition, as he was making his way out of the building, some guy stopped him and invited him for a stroll to "talk."
Godson, who was with his dad, agreed to join the man.
Apparently the man took Godson for a ride around the city, and gave him some sort of inspirational speech about the universe. He then told Godson he was actually the owner of numerous hotels in Cancun, and that he'd love for Godson to work for him.
Godson told him he had no money, or clothes, since he only packed for that one week he'd be in town.
The man told Godson not to worry about a thing, that he'd give him his own credit card and set him up in one of the hotels.
Godson told his dad, and his dad shrugged "Son, I can't afford to have you living out here... so... if it's something you have to do, I'll let you and give you the emotional support, but I can't financially support you."
And with that, Godson stayed in Cancun.
Evidently he now has his own condo, and gets paid 12k a month.
His mom? She is NOT happy about this, but since she stayed home while Godson and her husband left for Cancun, she was not taken into consideration when the decision was made.

When I heard all this a sense of urgency overpowered me, and that's when I started messaging Godson.
Hit me up as soon as you can!
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
And so forth.
I did have a short FB chat session with him, but he cut me off just as I was going to ask him if he at least acquired his diploma.
How fucking amazing was this fucking mysterious offer... how much of a fucking prick was this asshole who didn't allow you TWO MONTHS to complete your fucking degree before permanently moving out so far away from home?!
He just told me he was happy, life was amazing, and that I'd be able to visit him whenever I wanted and for as much time as I wanted down in Cancun, since he now has his own place there.

I could be excited about all of this... and while I AM happy he's happy, something does not fucking add up. I feel a horrible pain my stomach each time I think about this.
Like I said, based on his status updates and comments, I sense he's been brainwashed. He's not MY boy anymore. He's this... weird robot... who is now so incredibly self-centered... even arrogant. All sense of humility in him is now gone.

I'm angry. I'm upset. I feel helpless... frustrated... I can't find the proper term.
I just want answers.
ANSWERS.

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