Note to a douche

To the guy smacking his gum next to my ear drum during my 10 AM geology exam:

-Fuck you, dick, learn how to chew gum like a normal human (you remind me of a cat licking peanut butter off the roof of his mouth. That, or a cow chewing on curd. Take your pick, menso) so you can quit spitting on my scantron/hair/ear each time you open your pie hole.

- Breathe through your fucking nose once in a while, it's healthy.

-I hope you failed that exam, douche. Don't think I didn't see you peeking over at my exam... hopefully you were doing that and not what you've done before, Merve the Perve.

-Quit sitting next to me.

-No, you're not funny, you're actually annoying... especially when you laugh at your own so-not-witty-jokes.

-QUIT SITTING NEXT TO ME!!! You see my friend sits there every lecture... so quit taking his seat! He may be too cool to kick your ass, but I'm not adverse to getting up and slapping you upside the head.

Love... no, let's make that: Very truly yours,
AnoMALIE